Excuses to miss the meeting that won't raise suspicion of a fade

by kairos 31 Replies latest jw friends

  • stuckinarut2
    "My built in bullsh1t detector was going off as I was about to drive to the hall, so I had to turn around"
  • naazira

    I was preparing for the most important meetings of the year: memorial and convention. 

    I was looking to see which house I wanted after Armageddon- ya know it's never too early to prepare for the new system.

    I lost track of time while I was out in service before the meeting. 

  • blondie

    It is harder for men with assignments to miss meetings; they are noticed more because it inconveniences some other brother.

    Illness if you have something contagious.

    Get a job where you travel a lot:  truck driver, carpet layer with jobs out of town, salesman who drives a lot out of town, or shift work, or firefighter. EMT, radio for police/firefighter. (all elders I've know who had such jobs or have such jobs and miss many meetings). 

    Have elderly parents to care for that need 24 hour care and you can't afford to pay anyone and no one at the KH volunteers. 

  • cappytan
    "The folks on JWN said I shouldn't go tithe meeting and give a talk drunk. So, sorry, I stay home."
  • Witness My Fury
    Witness My Fury

    Thursday night is porno night! fap fap fap.... 

    But seriously, there is no need to make excuses or give reasons.

  • EndofMysteries
    Possessed literature cart rolled itself around blocking the door and blocking anywhere trying to move. 
  • stuckinarut2

    How about simply saying:

    "I didnt feel like going"

    then just laugh and pretend you were joking, and say no more.....

  • rebel8

    Homicidal ideation caused by menopause

    Pink eye (highly contagious)

    Recent exposure to Tuberculosis or Measles

    Projectile vomiting

    Explosive diarrhea

    Excessive gas

    Menstrual cramps

    Heavy menstrual bleeding






    Walking pneumonia

    Struck by an evil spell

    Mandated to work during meeting time by boss controlled by Satan

    Morgellons Disease

    Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

    Any other invisible disease would work.

  • sowhatnow

    chronic fatigue syndrome. works every time.

    see by the time I get home from work, im so exhausted that i cant move, or even think strait and wouldn't get a thing out of the meetings. it would be embarrassing to go and fall asleep. its a chronic condition.

    go to a meeting, and then fall asleep... ive seen it.

    oh and 'I listen in on the phone'

    whos gonna question it? its absolutely been true for many people that i know.

  • zeb

    As i was accused of something nasty in a prior cong when we moved i resolved NOT to be involved with jw in the new one. ie. I did the pleasant greetings, hows the baby, shake of hands etc then sit down open bible and avoid eye contact.

    This was a help though unintentional at the time to fade.

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