Thanks so much for your experience. I'm certain your conversation with your dad provided him with the happiest day of his life!
My mother, too, got involved with the JWs in the late seventies. Out of 3 kids, I was the only one who followed her in. I proceeded to write off my "worldly" family, and soon the stress caused my parents to separate, and it too was bitter. I never called or visited my father after the separation. I pioneered, and married a pioneer sister. I didn't even invite my dad to my wedding because of his attitude toward the witnesses. That didn't stop him from sending me a huge cash wedding gift, which amounted to more than than all the other gifts combined. It stunned me, and made me realize that he really did care for me, and that I'd been behaving like an asshole. I began to visit him again, regularly, and over the years he helped me through many hardships while the witnesses, who I had embraced with such fervor, laughed at my sometimes desperate situations. He taught me the meaning of unconditional love.
Our relationship grew over the years, and he knew of the shit I was putting up with in the congregation. One time he commented about me not being very serious about the JWs, so he wasn't worried anymore. The comment shocked me, as I thought I was still a believer. Did he see something I didn't? Probably.
Four years ago, with my father being 81 years old and in poor health, I decided my wife and I would move in with him to help him out. I wasn't sure how my wife would get along with him, as she never visited him with me during the 16 years we were married. It never became an issue though, as he died of a massive heart attack the very day we moved in. I was devastated, and I must have aged 10 years in the next week. His neighbors, whom I had never met, then shocked me with their visits, always bringing food and condolences for us. The JWs could learn a lot from these "worldly" people.
Two years later I DA'd after learning what the watchtower was really about. It resulted in the breakup of my marriage, and now the house that I inheirited, that he had worked so hard for, had to be sold with my JW wife, who never so much as visited my dad with me, taking half the proceeds. Since then I've been to ashamed to visit his gravesite - ashamed because half of his life's savings has gone to a member of the cult he hated, and that treated him so badly.
ithinkisee, thank you for your experience. I only wish there was some way I could give my father the same news. I think I'll go to his gravesite today, and try.
Walter
