RELY ON CHIPS (page 3)

LittleToe

I'm not so sure that unfairness comes into the equation of "love". Surely it's about mutal giving, and to quantify that would be to dispel the premise that "love" is based upon. Besides, as Xena alluded to, love can be complex, so how DO you quantify it, if you are of such an inclination?

I would like to think that "love" is given with abandon, however there's also a cost attached to giving oneself completely, like that. How many can truly pay the price? Maybe in the short-term, where lust is involved, but the long-term?

Sadly it so often degrades into something less than "love".

lisaBObeesa

From the title of the thread I thought you were positing a whole new social structure that would have the California Highway Patrol as it's foundation! How exciting, the power of Panch compel you!

I, too, thought this thread was about Eric Estrada.

Man, I loved Eric Estrada....

frenchbabyface

LT,

I'm not so sure that unfairness comes into the equation of "love".

no it doesn't come from love it comes from the one who got too much without giving as much and then don't reliase that it's unfair and can lead to the feeling of things being granted ... and in this matter the one who gives too much is somehow responsible of the mess ... (LOL) you know it's like saying if my son is a MotherF... There no reason to give him more than he deserves ... and somehow how long can we love a MotherF... ? unconditionnal love yes but still it doesn't have to be given in a dumb way ! ... (find a way to put the kid back on the right track even if it's in a harsh way - not showing love for instance for a while - is a form of love just an other way to help him and ourselves).

I would like to think that "love" is given with abandon, however there's also a cost attached to giving oneself completely, like that. How many can truly pay the price? Maybe in the short-term, where lust is involved, but the long-term?

Sadly it so often degrades into something less than "love".

Right - not that easy anyway ... Also love is not given with abandon if you have a personnal reason to (if not related to love itself)

it's not about the price only for ourself ... maybe we should always see way over that (ourself) it's about in fact the price for everybody ... cause once one feel like some things are granted and that they can get love or anything actually easely (for nothing or a little) they will just try to get it easely with anybody (as they can't or don't feel like to give) ...

... ... lisa !!! it brings back memories !!!

frenchbabyface

Xena : Love is extremely complex and expansive. If you let it be...

right ... !!!

Sorry to be late on this ... but I've thought I had nothing to add from your poste then ... but actually this topic is also about how can it be more expansive and less complex ...

and that's why I like what Barney said :

And by allowing me, everyone else is allowing themselves. The minute any one of us stops the progress of another person in their daily affairs, they have just insulted free will.

we could elaborate from details (personnaly or here)

frenchbabyface

... ... Barney !!! ... this song is sooooo moving for real .... ok I sing with you

We... are the champions.... my friends.... and we'll keep on fighting....till the end... No time for losers (those who oppress and cannot see the gift of true love) .... Cause we are the champions...... Of the worrrrrlllllllddddd.....

LittleToe

In your initial post you mentioned the enculturisation of pair-bonding.

Are you seeing a reversal of this, in the current climate of individualism?

frenchbabyface

In your initial post you mentioned the enculturisation of pair-bonding.
Are you seeing a reversal of this, in the current climate of individualism?

I don't know for most of people but the society is running to be that way ... The more I get older and the more I feel sure about the only thing that matter is the present ... there is nothing you can be sure of about tomorrow ... and you can't count on others and there is no reason to stay with anybody you don't love anymore and who don't love you anymore ... or worst who never loved you (convienent make up couples)...

also you've got the other kind of trouble = after effect (very common) Today you love this one, he/she bullshit you, you don't love him/her anymore and ooops then he/she loves you ... too late ... (just an example) some people are attracted by rejection - or only feel concerne when they are about to lose the other one for good) it's just a pity but there nothing you can do against that, and love is not a stupid game ...

That's why maybe not being bound in anyway is an insurance somehow ... today it's ok = well good / today it's bad = bybuy ... it's sounds more simple and based on REALITY and instead of taking an insurance (in marrying or get anybody engage with you) well you just take care (to not screw or not being screwed as an everyday job).

you can't win or lose in love in fact ... it's just true or not (if you know where you stand and can act coherent about it then you win - even if you lose the guy or the girl). And well there is still a way to stay good friends so (if nobody is trying to manipulating the other one to not having him/her looking somewhere else) ... way more cool and simple.

LittleToe

I'm interested in your insurance analogy.
So do you see relationships turning more into a bunch of friends, who occasionally fulfill the need of sex without obligation?

What about where kids are involved?

frenchbabyface

So do you see relationships turning more into a bunch of friends, who occasionally fulfill the need of sex without obligation?

No ... everybody should be able to find what they need or wait for it (instead of faking it - and then crying about the troubles related)

What about where kids are involved?

the kids should be loved anyway ... We women do manage (we proved it) you guys can manage ALONE anyway (it's not about having too much kids anyway - we should think about the fact that we might have to raised them alone.

... I'm sure that not having a man or a woman who bother everyday (because you or he/she don't love you that much, and maybe won't help that much just because of that) you can have 3 kids and still have fun once in while with somebody which make you feel good why not the same nice guy/girl or the nice guy/girl of the day (LOL) ...

Also you have couples who are very good friends but very bad together in sex ... well (so they can stay friend even living together) you have couples who have good sex together but that's it (well just have sex together) ... I mean it would be way more simple if we wouldn't put so much barriers in our heads.

I'm not there yet actually personnaly (I stand on engagement and no bullshiting and bybye if it doesn't work with no regrets) ... it's just that I feel like evoluating would be way more simple ...

frenchbabyface

Also about the kids ... less their mother and father would be pressured for a reason or an other more time and things they might like to put in their relationship with their kids ... lots of kids lives without their mother or father already they are not more or less screwed up than kids which living in a house where there parents are fighting everyday or are not happy to the point that maybe everybody would finally feel miserable about the situation and have a wrong picture of what love is etc ...

RELY ON CHIPS

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