Why did I leave after 50 yrs a JW

by londoner 41 Replies latest jw friends

  • jgnat

    Welcome londoner, your story is well-laid out. Glad you have your wife at your side. Excellent observation of the group dynamics. I guess that is why our governments build in checks and balances.

    By the way, what useful thing would you like to give a try?

  • chok

    Welcome Londoner

    It was interesting to read your story. Having been bought up a JW myself I agreed with many of your points. As I am sure many on here will.

    Wishing you many happier days ahead.

    (((((((( Londoner ))))))))



  • Bryan


    Thanks for sharing your story.

    Isn't it amazing, how so many of us, after being/serving in the bOrg, and finally leaving; we feel like we have wasted our time and lost so much.

    In other religions, people simply choose to attend/belong to another faith. It's no big deal. They didn't waste decades of their life shunning family members. And they aren't worried about the family and friends they'll loose once they leave! They didn't cheat themselves out of an education that would have given them self esteem, and the ability to retire comfortably. Once they leave, they feel ignorant after seeing the bOrg from the outside. What a crock!

    Oh... and welcome!


    Have You Seen My Mother

  • Peppermint

    Welcome Londoner,

    I lost only a small part of my life to the witnesses by comparison, and I feel cheated at times.

    But stay positive because no experience is without its plus points.

    They done taught me to speak proper at lest.

  • Blueblades

    Welcome Londoner! After thirty - something years, we left also, the slow fade way. We went on with our lives, now in our sixties we are at peace with ourselves, it's been about two and a half years now since the fade and no one bothers us anymore.

    It's been said that time heals all wounds, for some it's sooner than others, and for some that may not apply, because the hurt never leaves them.With the support of your wife, may you go on from here.


  • Joyzabel

    Welcome Londoner,

    you summarized what we all have gone through as we pass on in our life:

    I feel my life has been wasted, taken from me, yes I am bitter, I still lose sleep over it often, but I am slowly starting to feel a heavy weight has been lifted from my back.

    Give yourself time to grieve, heal and move on. Someone first suggested to me when I came here that it will take at least 2 years before you really feel "deprogrammed". So take your time, start looking at what really interests you and your wife. There is no hurry for anything anymore and don't be anxious to live all the things you think you missed out on. Just learn to love the life you have and who you are now. It will be ever changing.

    Looking forward to hearing from you again.


  • Englishman

    Ah..someone from the big horse country.


  • FreedomFrog

    Where's my manners????

    {{{{{{{WELCOME LONDONER}}}}}}}

    As I said in my other post...you now have something beautiful in front of you. YOUR LIFE.

    As Joyzabel said...

    Give yourself time to grieve, heal and move on. Someone first suggested to me when I came here that it will take at least 2 years before you really feel "deprogrammed".

    You're down one year...one left to go.


  • codeblue

    Welcome Londoner!

    I truly enjoyed reading about your life history with the JWs and why you left. As others have mentioned, you are not alone in your feelings you have stated. Sadly it is part of the grieving process.

    Interesting to note, that if they were the "true religion" none of the things you mentioned for reasons for leaving would happen. The power struggle and lack of love was quite obvious in your experience.

    I also liked how you said things build up over time, you notice it and then you really notice it: yeap, that's because of the programming they give us! You know, YOU have to prove you always love Jehovah by putting up with the "lack of love" they show you. (how crazy is that idea?)

    Both me and my hubby have been fading for 1.5 years.. We were both raised as JW's and lived it for 36 years (if you count from age 10 going in the f. service regular and all those meetings)....I wish I could move and start all over fresh. I am glad to know you have.

    If you find you are still having problems please go see a counselor. I deliberated and a week ago finally went. She was perfect....understands the workings of many cults. She validated me completely!!! I wish I would have went to see her a year ago.

    Hoping to hear from you again!


  • brutusmaximus

    Welcome Londoner,

    I don't get the chance to post as often as I would like (don't always know what to say) but like you spent too many years in the borg (30) but stable now and having a ball!!!

    Take care and look to these guys to help you they are the bees knees.

    All the best


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