I truly enjoyed reading about your life history with the JWs and why you left. As others have mentioned, you are not alone in your feelings you have stated. Sadly it is part of the grieving process.
Interesting to note, that if they were the "true religion" none of the things you mentioned for reasons for leaving would happen. The power struggle and lack of love was quite obvious in your experience.
I also liked how you said things build up over time, you notice it and then you really notice it: yeap, that's because of the programming they give us! You know, YOU have to prove you always love Jehovah by putting up with the "lack of love" they show you. (how crazy is that idea?)
Both me and my hubby have been fading for 1.5 years.. We were both raised as JW's and lived it for 36 years (if you count from age 10 going in the f. service regular and all those meetings)....I wish I could move and start all over fresh. I am glad to know you have.
If you find you are still having problems please go see a counselor. I deliberated and a week ago finally went. She was perfect....understands the workings of many cults. She validated me completely!!! I wish I would have went to see her a year ago.
Hoping to hear from you again!