Judge fines mother $10,000 for 'alienation'... (page 2)

outbutnotdown

Alan F,

I know exactly what you are saying regarding women getting away with a LOT more, first hand unfortunately.

It's only been two years for me and 11 visits to the court, but my ex is just as guilty as this mother of trying to poison my children's minds. Fortunately I still get to see them a bit after winning all of these battles. They would be way worse off if they didn't get to see me at all, like this father, for seven years.

I will get sole custody by this summer (my ex's crazy actions have guaranteed that, but she still has her right to make it go to trial). Men have a right to go to trial but unless the woman is nuts they don't get the kids.

The Judges have sped up the whole process for me and the kids. But still, much more can be done to reward good dads. The first important step, IMO, should be that mom AND dad are both considered to be fit parents. If the mother is "better" than the father let it be proven, rather than ASSUMED, like it is now.

That's gotta be worth at least four cents.

Brad

gespro

Judge fines mother $10,000 for 'alienation'
Kept daughters away from 'good and loving father'

It's about damn time!

I've gone through not knowing where my children were for years at a time because of my ex thinking she was above the law. The legal system was useless! I even joined Fathers' Right Association and heard stories of fathers getting hauled off to jail when their legal visitation time wasn't honored by a spiteful ex when they wouldn't leave the front door fast enough! Yeah, those mothers really care about the overall well being of their children...NOT!

I wish you success Out-b-n-down!

Miss_MG

Anyone in that position go for it Great post

outbutnotdown

Gespro, thanks!!!!

Regarding the jail thing, you might find my story interesting.

Where I live, there is a "Zero-tolerance Policy". Basically, if a woman says a man did something to them, they are believed, the man is arrested, and the man must prove his innocence. In most cases, this works well, as the woman does not have to fear the man being let off by the cop and doing even more harm to her. It keeps her safe.

However, it can be used the other way around. Three weeks after we broke up, my ex lied to the police and had me thrown in jail. (Not coincidentally, it was on what would have been our tenth anniversary.) That later got thrown out. Two and a half months later, she tried again. The police didn't believe her this time and even warned her that if she tried it again, she could be charged with criminal harassment. Eight days later she filed papers with the court to get a restraining order on me. $5,000.00 later, that got thrown out.

So, the police no longer believed her and the Judges didn't believe her, so she hired a biker-affiliated guy to "beat me up". When the biker-affiliated guy got my side of the story before he "beat me up" he told them "nothing is going to happen to xxxx xxxxxxxx. because he didn't believe her either. She/her parents got angry and said, "I want him dead!! I want him dead!!". The biker let them know that he is now "protecting me" and if anything happens to me, they will pay......... and I am living happily ever after.

Well, the "happily ever after" is not so easy, but eventually EVERY level of the law realizes where the problems lies.

But, it is amazing to what lengths people will go to get back at their exes, a great deal of it at the expense of the kids.

Brad

Tigerman

Extraordinary story, Brad . . . hang in there.

Country_Woman

I do have ambivalent feelings here.

Ofcourse it is a good thing when an unwilling parent is forced to "behave"

But, since I was a mother who kept her child away from her former husband, I am very well aware of the fact that there possible are valid reasons for this mother to do what she did.

In my case, Viv was 2 years old when her father started to date another woman (under disguise of visiting the sauna - and this woman was working there). After a year somebody told me of this affair and my husband swore that he would stop it - which he did'nt. Viv was 3 year and 8 months when we were divorced. I did'nt ask for alimentation for myself - but my lawyer told me that I had to ask for child support. And when I did'nt, the municipaly would ask for it, since I did'nt had any income.

My ex had to pay a very little amount for Viv, around $60,-- a month and used it to make sure he was "in charge" "or else he would'nt pay". After half a year, I decided to stop this parental visits. It gave to much difficulties and troubles. The court decided that it was'nt in Viv's best interest to have this 2 weekly visits.

At the age of 13 Viv decided to meet her father again. She knew where he lived, so she went to his place. That did'nt went well. When she was 15, her father contacted me: his wife (the woman from the sauna) has left him and he wanted to have a family again (since Viv is his only child). For Viv's interest I was willing to give it a try, but Viv was absolutely against - did'nt accept a father who would told her what she should or should not do. At 17 she tried again and during a few months there was regular contact which was broken abrubtly when she was babtised: he was shunning her. When she was disfellowshipped she was "worthy" again to make contact with.

In the meantime he was married to his 4th wife (I was the second) and Viv did like her very much. Calling her "My fake mother". The last 2 years she learned to know him for what he is, she decided "enough is enough" and stopped all contact. Just a month ago she got a letter from her "fake mother" she have left Viv's father cos he is having an affair with a sauna-girl.

I am telling this because my ex is telling everybody that "it" was my fault. I was the bad genius who did'nt allow Viv to communicate with her father.

Every case has 2 sides: you don't know the story of this particular mother.

Branda

outbutnotdown

Branda,

I'm sorry to hear about what you have gone through and even more about what Viv has gone through. It has had to have been hard on her.

It is true that there is always a "second side" to the story, but I think the point of this $10,000.00 fine is that it was obvious that the mother had NO grounds to keep the father from her kids. In Canada, the benefit of the doubt goes very strongly to the mother. For a Judge to consider the father to be a good and capable father, he would have had to prove it over a period of time.

Like my posts in this thread have shown, mothers are presumed to be the better parent and the father is not. It is a tough road for the men, in Canada at least. It's about damn time that Judges are stepping in. But how the hell it took seven years and fifteen court visits for ONE Judge to make the right call is still a travesty of justice.

Brad

LittleToe

I might be missing something here, but isn't the woman unemployed and supported by her husband?
Doesn't that mean that ultimately he will be paying the fine to the court, thereby having double the agony inflicted on him?

outbutnotdown

LittleToe,

Yet another point about which I'd like to throw in my two cents worth.

Yes, it does seem like he has paid for everything so far, including VOLUNTARILY paying for University for his two eldest. If she's anything like my ex she has probably cried poverty the whole time. I doubt the Judge believes her. They can usually figure out the truth.

So, while the money may be coming from him, indirectly, at least, the Judge will ensure that she doesn't spoil herself anymore and that she'll pay the fine. Maybe she'll even have to get a job to pay it back. The youngest is 16, so it wouldn't take anything away from her time.

My ex was always telling people I was not paying my support (not true) and that she had no money. She was also silly enough to brag to her friends a day later that her new Pug/Terrier dog was $650.00. Reasonable people can see the truth. Just about all of her friends have turned on her..... and I never had to say a word.

Brad

Mecurious?

In Canada, the benefit of the doubt goes very strongly to the mother. For a Judge to consider the father to be a good and capable father, he would have had to prove it over a period of time.

Its not just Canada! Women always complain about not having equal rights, but this is proof positive that the men encounter sexist behavior as well, and it is condoned by the legal system. As far as a man cheating, that shouldn't stop him from seeing his kids. But quite a few women use the kids as a weapon against the man when he has been unfaithful. Sad thing is that 1/3 of the time the man is paying, supporting and taking care of children that (unaware to him) don't even belong to him.

"There are signs of substantial fraud or mistakes in identifying fathers in child support disputes. The American Association of Blood Banks says the 300,626 paternity tests it conducted on men in 2000 ruled out nearly 30% as the father."

M'

Judge fines mother $10,000 for 'alienation'...

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