Were your parents control freaks?

by Dustin 39 Replies latest jw friends

  • jeanniebeanz
    We were not allowed to shut our bedroom doors. We could not lock the bathroom door. It was really crazy.

    Hear you big time on that line. Funny the similarities. Wonder what they were afraid I'd be doing all alone in the bathroom? Mom was a control freak when she was conscious, Dad was always working or calling on congregational weaklings.


  • orangefatcat

    Baysix form e

    Man are you sure your parents weren't secret JWs? You have described my parents to a tee.

    My parents didn't allow me to think for myself. If I laughed I was being silly, if I cried I was being a baby. If I spoke of an acheivment I was being boastful, if I looked sad I was ungrateful. I was not allowed to own my own feelings and emotions. I had to be what they wanted me to be. My childhood was damaged severely with abuse and neglect.

    There were times that my father called me stupid. In fact he said it so much I guess sub-conscienciously began to believe him. One of my teachers said to me one day, Terry, "why do you always say your stupid? Someone must have told you this so many times that you have begun to believe. And I can tell you that you are in no way a stupid person, in fact you are very intelligent," You know that teacher was right because I really thought I was unable to comprhend and it was because of my father always calling me stupid. Or there were times my dad would come up behind me and smack me really hard on my head and say to me, "thats for nothing wait til you do something", That angered me very much as even to this day I have a very sensitive skull. My younger sister did that to me several times and one day I turned to her and said "don't do that again , it hurts and that is what dad use to do to me." She thought I was being to sensitive too.

    I wasn't ever allowed to go to friends homes, or go to movies. Or go out on dates until I was 18 and chaperoned. If I spoke to an older brother my father and mother accused me of having sexual feelings for that brother. Gee no wonder I moved out of the house when I was 19. Only problem with that is I had to take my sixteen yr old sister with me when I moved to Montreal. I never got a break. My parents made our lives impossible. But they always wanted us to have a stupid Kingdom Smile so all the nice brothers and sisters in the KH thought our lives were near perfect. Barf barf.

    Yes my parents were control freaks..

    Orangefatcat has no left the room to explode.

  • ValiantBoy

    isn't it funny how all of the families here are only functional and healthy once everyone leaves the organization?

  • Mulan

    My parents were pretty permissive, but I was a good kid too. They seldom told me "no" when I asked for a privilege or to go somewhere, even with "worldly kids".

    I grew up in the 50's and early 60's.

  • ValiantBoy

    We were very good kids too. We were the ones that were always used for "exempleray youth" parts. Other parents in the cong said that they wished their kids were more like us. My parents were just damaged from thier youth experiences and association with witnesses compounded their problems.

  • cruzanheart

    Yes. My mother is the only person I've ever met who had Alzheimer's IMPROVE her personality.


  • Odrade

    OMG! ROTFL!!! Nina, that is the funniest thing I've read today! I wonder if my mom will get alzheimers and improve her personality.

    My parents were the "search and seizure" type too. I remember one time my mom when berzerk when she found "Clan of the Cave Bear" in my room. We couldn't watch tons of TV shows, and constantly got that "bad association even in the KH" line. That's leaving entirely the college/pioneer/"as long as you're under my roof" stuff.

    Now, to be perfectly fair, my dad now realizes (and admits, which is better) that he was not only too strict and too punishing, but rather shortsighted--especially regarding education. He also regrets deeply his excessive use of corporal punishment. I'm not sure exactly what my mom thinks about all of this. I suspect she wishes she had been even MORE strict.

    Oh yeah, she was also menopausal when I was a teenager, and would occasionally "run away from home." LOL.

    It's a fine line between "control freak" and "out of control."


  • Beachbender

    That was funny Nina!

    Most of these stories are all the same, and mine is in there as well. And we`re all about the same

    age bracket, give or take 10 years. Says alot for what the WTS called "discipline" for your kids.

    Totally controling. If there wasn`t physical there was definitely emotional abuse going on!

    No wonder we ended up here looking for compassion, and answers.

  • heatherg

    Hey Dustin, where in WI are you from?

    yeah, my parents were horrible control freaks! Elders daughter here, had to set the example! I still resent them for my childhood. My children are not raised like that at all.

  • Nosferatu
    Yup... regular bedroom searches and subsequent interrogations for anything found to be suspicious

    That's the story of my life. The sad thing is my mother is STILL like that. She'd come over to my house and look through everything. I'd never leave her alone in my house for one minute.

    When I was a teenager, I converted an old answering machine into a phone recorder. I used to tape phone convos with women I was interested in, and I kept many of these tapes in a white folder. I also kept them hidden away. The worst was when my mother found this folder and LISTENED to each and every one of those tapes. Being a repressed teenager, this didn't help my depression. After that, more often I'd come home and find my bedroom torn apart. I hated it.

    Even after I grew up, she'd come up to my room, look through my tapes, and pick out which ever ones she wanted to listen to. The thing that pissed me off is she would never put them back.

    It's pretty sad that my mother will listen to my wife and not me. Just because I'm her son, she can degrade me, borrow my shit, ruin it, and not offer to replace it. Whenever stuff like this happens, my wife approaches her about it since I'll have no effect on her.

    Then my mother wonders why I don't want to do any favors for her. She can get someone else to fix her shit.

    Sorry, went off on a rant.

Share this