Steaming Angry - Forced to explain Shunning to my 5year old daughter!!!

by chok 37 Replies latest jw experiences

  • scootergirl

    ((chok)) I want to comment on the comment too that there are plenty here to offer support. Anytime you have this many members on a board there is bound to be someone who doesn't agree or is "callous". Take what you like and ignore the rest..that's what I do. There are many of us that understand the pain that comes w/shunning. It is an abuse of sorts and it is a shame that children have to be subject to it. Just remember, YOU are the mom and you can show and teach your little ones how NOT to act by example. Just love them..that makes up for all!

  • chuckyy


    I am just so angry and so sorry that you and your precious little girl are going thru this. I am going thru the same with my little 5 yr old daughter. My wife and I decided to disassociate following some cruel remarks made about my little girls disability and since then, we are shunned by former friends etc...every day in our small town. Our little girl has realised now what is happening. It is truly just highlights how shallow the so called 'love' within the JW religion really is. I truly hope that it gets better for will take time...but it will get better.

  • wannaexit

    I would never put the happiness of my children in second place. You dont know me, or the full extent of my circumstannces and therefore have no right to stand up and judge me.

    I have not judged you simply stated my opinion. That is the wonderful thing about coming out of the org. , you can express your opinions. That is what I did.


  • happehanna

    I have a five year old and they are so beautiful at that age and we never want them to be hurt by anyone let alone by people who are supposed to love them.

    The shunning probably will get worse now that it has started as you know. I think a truthful simple explanation would be best, five year olds like to be told what is going on. (well I know mine does)

    take care

  • chok

    WANNA ... glad you came back and read my reply HANNA - Great to hear from you again hanna. I have sat her down and spoken to her in a simple terms as possible. She is now making mention of other relatives who we are not witnesses, and has expressed a desire to see them. I think this is the next step forward, building bridges with those ones so that she does continue to have family ties, which are important. Chok
  • Why Georgia
    Why Georgia

    Hi Chok,

    We are going through this now with our oldest child who will be 5 in a few days. One of my sister in laws will not even speak to me or my children. If I was on fire she wouldn't spit on me to put it out.

    I hate this religion and how it takes the humanity out of people for the sake of pleasing an ever hungry soul snatching organization.

    As long as you love your children and set a good example they will be okay. Love them so much they will never miss the love of those judemental family members.

    Big hugs to you,

    Why Georgia

  • kilroy2

    Its not about love of others, its about control of the people that stay.

    If you dont stay they could give a shit about you or your family, the main concern is that they keep the people that are there on the edge of their seat and in fear of the end of the world, in the long run you are better off.

    I have a brother that moved 1000 miles away and has never been happier. now that the dubbers that do come to his door he can accost with the 607 bce and other flaws with out them knowing he is a baptized exdubber.

  • rebel8

    Let's keep in mind that leaving a cult is devastating and extremely difficult--socially, mentally, physically, financially, etc. A person in such a situation is likely to make some poor judgment calls because he/she has been prevented from developing normal good decision-making skills by the cult, and is having to learn by trial and error now. The dubs don't allow married women to make any decisions for themselves, let alone question the rationale behind the decisions being made for them. How could the OP have developed good decision-making skills without the opportunity to do so?

    In some respects, it can be likened to a pre-teenager being let loose in an adult world and having to make adult choices, with none of the skills, logic, and maturity that the rest of the adults have. It's no surprise he/she is going to make some mistakes as part of that process.

    OP--You're a grown up and I fully support your right to make choices for yourself, especially involving divorce, childbearing, etc. Those are personal choices that I wouldn't presume to criticize. There is not a set of rules that we all must follow (it's the JWs that believe that, not me). I just thought, for those that are criticizing your choices, perhaps it would be a good idea to step back and take a look at why it's so hard to be in your shoes.

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