Steaming Angry - Forced to explain Shunning to my 5year old daughter!!!

by chok 37 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  PinTail

  Been there done that, is a hard situation to be in. My little daughter of ten when I was disfellowshiped would hurry and run after me after the stupid meeting across the parking lot and jump into my arms saying daddy daddy", I can still hear her little pumps clicking on the pavement behind me.

  They would not let her set by me, and it made me cry so I left the hall and never came back, every time I think about that night and my little daughter I choke up.

  Now listen right quick all you lurkers, this is a true story that I have just related and it almost made me take my own life to inflect such pain upon my daughters all in the name of religion.

  There will be an accounting from god above, upon this religion that does so much hurt in his name, I hope I live to see it.

  Shane....
• 

  chok

  Hi there upsidedown

  Just read your comments, and your examples made me smile, as I realised how my comments probably looked. Made me look a bit of one right.

  The separation from my husband was an amicable one following years of arguments and wanting totally different things out of life. I wanted children and a family and he missed his single life, and could be quite oppressive. I had quite a turbulant marriage and my family were supportive of me making a fresh start for myself and my children. Up until of course I decided to stop attending the meetings as well. So didnt have an affair and am not bitter in anyway as far my marriage breakup goes.

  I can handle the shunning, I expect it. I know how the organisation works. What I am finding hard to cope with is how that shunning will affect my children. I thought I had considered all areas. Since my separation my children (more noticeable with the eldest) have been far more settled and relaxed, due to being in an less volitile environment. But I hadnt been prepared really for having to cope with their feelings over the shunning side of things.

  I still feel I have made the best decision for them, but I just need to be more emotionally supportive as far as their loss of some family members go.

  Thanks for pointing out how my mail looked...you're right....i didnt give many facts. Probably because I have spoken extensively before to several on here, in the chat room and in person.

  Thanks

  Chok
• 

  chok

  Pintail

  My problems seem to pail into insignifiance after reading your post.

  I dont know how I would cope with that situation, my thoughts are really with you.

  (((((((( Hugs ))))))))

  Chok
• 

  LittleToe

  (((chok)))
  Chin up, lassie. There are some great things going on in your life

  Life can be a bitch, and people can play their part in that, but it still goes on. It sounds as if you have some wonderful things to enjoy!

  Leo:Knowing the double-speak, that article makes me feel sick. Gotta love their lies, in the theocratic war, huh?

  Shane:Sumbitch, dude!!!
  (((hugs)))
• 

  PinTail

  LittleToe, thanks Dude.

  It was like the Twilight Zone back then, it was like I was fighting some dread lord of darkness.

  First a masive head injury, then daughter being abused by ex-wifes boy friend, then being disfellowshiped, having seizures all the time from head injury that I never had before that are triggered by stress, the sister whom I was disfellowshiped with would not leave me alone ( nempho), I got disfellowshiped after my wife ran off with this abuser, got tossed out of the hall for not setting in the main area because the fans were triggering siezures and they would not believe me. What a crazy life.

  Now I am married to a good women who I believe was sent by a loving God.
• 

  scootergirl

  I too have walked your in your shoes (like so many of us here) and know the pain involved. It is one thing when it only effects us, but when our children are subject to it, it is something that is infuriating. I've had to explain to my children why Gramma and Grandpa won't talk to me. And even though it is painful for me to explain it to them, it also gives me the opportunity to make them understand that it isn't normal and that NOTHING that they ever do will ever cause that to happen to them.
• 

  peggy

  Sometimes we get ourselves into these crazy situations. In my case I can be too open, discussing problems and not realizing what others will do with the knowledge. I was speaking about my fears for my son to my sister. He had been inactive and dating a "worldly girl", at some point his conscience got to him and he went to the elders to confess fornication. They were "merciful" and privately reproved him. In my own worried state I told my sister about it. I wish I never had. First of all it was my son's own personal business, it was disloyal to share it. I regret that. Anyway, he got back with his girl friend and is very much in love. I have come to love her as well.

  We had a family dinner and I asked my other sister if my son and his girl friend could attend. He is completly inactive. She kindly said yes. When my other sister arrived, she was angry he was there. Said she didn't know if she could stay. She did though. The next day she told me that she would never do that again. He was shown mercy and has chosen the wrong path. This judgement comes from a woman who is on her third marriage! Her current husband has been married four times! They are on a "spiritual" high right now, next week, next month, next year.....who knows.
• 

  upside/down

  Hey there chok-

  You gotta keep on keepin on... -(Joe Dirt)

  u/d
• 

  jeanniebeanz

  Hi,

  Sounds like you are a real common sense type of guy who trys to get to the bottom of things. You make some very good points.

  That being said, I have been through the shunning thing myself and it was pretty awful. The kids, who are now adults, will never want anything to do with that religion more for what they saw me go through in the years after I got the boot than anything.

  Jean
• 

  wannaexit

  Iast year I separated from my husband, left the organisation, met someone else and am now expecting with my new partner.

  How did you explain this to your 5 year old.

  I don't agree with any of the disfellowshipping crap but separating,meeting someone new,and expecting a new babyall in the course of one year would be more of a challange for me to explain to a 5 year old.

  My worry right now would be the situation you are in.

  I KNOW I will get pelted for saying this.

  wanna