Were You On The Same Wave Length As The Others In The Hall???

by minimus 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • cyber-sista

    I was always on the fringe and hung around with a few of the reject dubs. We would hang out in the back of beatnik coffee shops and have secret meetings where we spoke of poetry and the latest non-theocratic books we had read. Sometimes we would secretly take a non-theocratic class together, but never make it known to others in the congo (watercoloring and things of that sort would be considered futile and non-essential activities) Most of my friends were on medication because they were "too" sensitive for the Org and had to try and numb that part of themselves. We were the weak and sickly ones according to the others who were in the middle of the organization (the proverbial sheep pen as it was referred to). Glad I finally broke out of the pen.


  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    Never did fit in I guess - especially with the elders.

    I thought they should imitate Christ - they thought they were 'gestapo'. I thought for a long time I wanted to be an elder - but they would never let me in - I couldn't have learned the 'goose-step' anyway.


  • prophecor

    They were A/C , I was D/C

  • heatherg

    I pretended to be because I was an elders daughter and was required to set the example. When I turned 18 I decided that I'd had enough of their crap and left!

  • pennycandy

    No, but to be honest I felt the same way at school.

  • prophecor

    Aye minimus, freedom is to be prefered. Being conditioned to having every moment of ones existence come under the scrutiny of yourself as well as everyone else is one incredible mind _ _ _ k that I would wish on my enemies, even the worst of them, if you want to subjugate any one with having to constantly question, can I watch this movie?, can I listen to this copy of Earth Wind & Fire, despite the apparent, alledged demonic symbolism shown on the cover?

    "Are we being entertained by what Jehovah hates? ", was a consistent theme in talks, study articles, as well as parts on the assemblies.

    How the hell was anyone supposed to watch, read, listen too, anything not associated with Theocratic interest? It was all evil, according to them if you think about it, long and hard enuff'.

    Jehovah was depicted as hating anything not of the organization. So I threw away my music, buried it in the river, on several occasions, I listened only to Kingdom Melodies, as that was the music of the pure language that I should've been listening to alone.

    I drowned myself in listening to audio tapes of the Bible spoken in word. Though I actually enjoyed that aspect of serving, but every single thing came down to Jehovah hating everything not witness oriented. I was expected to not only follow in suite, but because I was being taught by those who were regarded as higher up on the food chain regarding their spiritual capacity, I was almost expected to be like my teachers.

    Here's one that's escaped my notice regarding the tyranical rulership that was once the norm in the Kingdom Hall. I oftentimes would never even consider being an understudy of anyone less than an Elder. And the brother that I would study with, on one particular occasion would make me feel so less than if it was I was not following along in his footsteps, " A student is not great as his teacher, " he would tell me, as well as had some kinda' scriptural backup to point out to me how it was I was lacking in progress because of not meeting up with what were his standards. Luke 6:40 was always placed upon me as proof that I was moving too slow, that I needed to do more, move it! move it! , move it!

    Luke 6:40 A pupil is not above his teacher, but everyone that is perfectly instructed will be like his teacher.

    Is this even a proper reflection of scripture, or has this been adjusted to give even more creedence to the JW philosophy? Perfectly ?,.... anyway....

    Freedom minimus has come finally, and yes at a hefty price, but what would anyone count as being of worth, their remaining in the dark ? To remain in the dark is to be non-existent, to not be enlightened as to ones true self, un-authentic.

  • minimus

    I got rid of my Earth, Wind & Fire album COVERS only. Couldn't "stumble" the flock.

  • prophecor

    Funny and sad at the same time, because EW&F music is pretty standard fare, harmless, as opposed to what's listened to today.

  • Nosferatu
    Yep, that sounds familiar. I never fit in, no matter what I did. Eventually I got to the point where I turned down the few invitations I got from people. There was no reason to get together with them - we had absolutely nothing in common.

    I had the same problem. I was the congregational outcast along with one other guy in his late 50s. Whenever he'd actually show up at a meeting, we'd stand at the back and talk. I hated it when he didn't show up. I'd be all alone while everyone would talk with their styrofoam smiles on.

    I also began rejecting invitations to gatherings (when I actually got them). I'd sit there all alone and bored. Occasinally, some asshole would come up and say "Why so glum, chum?" I'd think "fvvk off".

  • candidlynuts

    ha. same wavelength? looking back i was actually a great jw. i didnt say one thing and do another. i did everything i was supposed to do and was i think, an outcast BECAUSE of that. i think if 'd gone to questionable movies, concerts, etc and then pretended to be shocked when someone got caught i'd have fit in a lot more.

    looking back i also wonder why the hell i tried so fucking hard. i hope at least God appreciates it cuz it for sure got me nowhere.

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