My JW mom refuses to attend my wedding!?!?!?

by d_yell 41 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Quyrah

  I feel for you. When my daughter married in 2000, I was not allowed to go to her wedding. She was a 1/2 time jw. What I mean is she had started to leave but because her father and grandparents are jw's she told me in NO uncertain terms that I was NOT to show up at all since I was df'd. It's been almost 5 years now but it still hurts to think about it. My eldest baby. I didn't get to see her get married. She has since decided to leave the jw's, but we never talk about the wedding because she knows it still hurts me and she's not ready to apologize for that yet. She still has some growing up to do even though she's 24. I cry everytime I think of it.

  Although I don't know what to say to you but keep your chin up, life does go on, I know the pain you are feeling.

  Hugs to you (as a spiritual mother)

  Q.
• 

  mrsjones5

  I tried to reply earlier but my post failed for some reason...

  That is so unfair! If your mom has attended other weddings that happened to be in churches then it isnt so unreasonable that she attend yours. I now say stick to your guns hon but be prepared for other attitudes from your mom to come down the pipe (speaking from experience with my jw parents).

  Josie
• 

  Gordy

  My son is getting married in February, he is DA'd, as I am also. His JW mother and two JW sisters have refused to attend. He is the first of our seven children to get married.
• 

  mama

  I am so sorry to hear about your problem. My dad is a very zealous JW and when his sister got married in a church years ago he did attend. As some have pointed out, it is a personal decision, however, much depends on how intimidated she is by her elders. I was disfellowshiped once and then reinstated so I can tell you her reaction probably has to do with the fact that she is still being judged by many in her hall. Even when time passes many reinstated ones are terrified of doing anything that may reflect badly on them because they already feel unworthy and low on the totempole. Try and reason with her gently and tell how much it means to you. If she still feels she can't go then maybe its just best to let her come to the reception. If you change your wedding plans to suit her you could end up really resenting her for ruining your day and please remember you are starting your own family with this man and his wishes should come before hers. That's my two cents anyway, if she won't budge for you, why should you do it for her? I hope you have a very happy wedding day and twenty five years down the road when your daughter or son is getting married at least you know you'll be there to support them.
• 

  willyloman

  I knew if I had a wedding in a church my parents wouldn't come unless I "jehovahized" it

  Priceless! Nice wordsmithing, Tres.
• 

  Purza

  I feel for you. I am getting married in a few months and my mother told me she would not attend if I intended on living with my fiancee before marriage. I never confirmed that I am living with him and I will send her the invitation for her and my dad. I am anticipating that they will not come and I don't have any words of wisdom to share about being okay with them not attending.

  Purza
• 

  jws

  I hope you can share the articles Blondie pointed out. It looks like there is nothing forbidding her to come. There are a lot of warnings that may scare off many JWs from even thinking about it, but the articles leave it up to her. So, the decision comes back to your mother.

  The JWs are so stigmatized about anything that has to do with any other religion (talk about superstitious). My father would not attend his grand-daughter's wedding because it was in a church. Taking a cue from that, when my brother and I were married, we both had our weddings at the Botanical Gardens with a J.P. presiding. I thought it was a beautiful setting. The gardens and flowers made for a great background for the dozens of wedding photos taken afterwards too. I know it's not for everyone. Our spouses were OK with it. For some the church ceremony is as traditional as tuxes and white brides dresses. If your fiance feels strongly about it, stick with it.

  I hope it all works out.
• 

  happynow

  I feel for you. My mom is a reinstated JW. DF when I was 4, and reverted back when I was 14. I personally can say that I feel for you. My mom has not talked to me in 4 years. Her loss. If you are happy, and know you are going to be happy, all is good. One day, your mom will figure things out, and if she doesn't so be it.. you will find that life will be ok. I promise.
• 

  Hecklerboy

  Same thing here. When I got married my wife and I decided to have it outside so my mom and sister wouldn't be offended going into a church. She seemed very excited and was planning on buying a new dress. Next thing you know she calls me and tells me that she can't attend because it would be condonning me marrying a "worldly" person. Needless to say I was very upset. Looks like the elders got to her. The wedding went on without a hitch (except for a major rainstorm that caused us to move it indoors). It seems now that my mom regrets not coming especially since my sister's marriage to her wonderful witness husband has ended in divorce after one year. She is always want my wife and I to come visit and love coming to our house for the weekend. Hope everything goes well with your wedding and congratulations.
• 

  raj

  hiii brother n sister, i m an hindu,,,n my galfrnd is jehovahs witness so cn she attend weding of my brother,,,i knw rules of witness so just by attending weding is some thng wrong,,do reply,,