Joy,
PM me if you want to, but do you remember my father or even his reputation?
Andi
I've just had an epiphany...
by Billygoat 24 Replies latest members private
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Billygoat
Everyone, I feel so silly putting it in writing. Like I should have known that. I think mentally I did know it, but it never sunk down into my heart. But today it's hit me and I'm seeing him in a totally different light. It's not necessarily a better light, in fact it's a little worse, but I'm not the one in the shadows of that light. I'm not even in the picture!!!
It feels good.
(((((Mega)))))) You've been waiting to witness this for several years, huh?
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MegaDude
Andi, I'm drinking champaign.
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Scully
((((((((( Andi )))))))))
Isn't it a wonderful feeling to realize that you've risen above your raising??
I'm so proud of you, girlfriend! You're soaring higher than your father ever aspired to be. It's totally HIS loss that he has no appreciation for you, his friends, or anything other than the WTS.
Love, Scully
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bem
((((Andi)))) It can turn out as you said that you see the parent in a different way and wonder how you never acknowledged it before, But it is cathartic when we get out away from the long dark shadow they can cast on us.
Dorothy
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SheilaM
BG: OF course it's not you sweetie...My Dad is an asshole too. YOU Know who gave me my ephiphany yep...Thunder, I blamed mysel for years and one day THunder said "SHeila I don't wanna hurt you but your Dad is an asshole" The light when on as it has for you MY DAD is selfish I am not my Dad is self-centered I am not My Dad is loyal to know one and nothing I am not I AM NOT MY DAD I AM ME ...YAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
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BrendaCloutier
Andi! That is absolutely awesome.
We are products of our genes and our environments. There is much about ourselves that we have little control over. As adults we have the opportunity to no longer have to take on our parents (guilt, shame, anger, denial, insanity,,,,jerkness) whatever it was they programmed into us. But sometimes it takes a while to recognize just what it is we've been carrying all these years.
I bet you feel tons lighter!
Hugs
Brenda
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Country_Woman
Andi - that is the way human nature work: first you will think it is your fault and it will take a while before you realise "it is not my fault"
I am happy for you.
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bebu
Epiphanies can be absolutely the best...
Kinda like Helen Keller finally understanding "water" being signed into her palm... she could reproduce it, sure... but when the meaning really, really connected for her she stiffened upright and then dropped a pitcher of water she was holding, as her teacher signed into the palm of her other hand.
Yes, what you've been telling yourself all along really was true!!!!
bebu