Devote Parents advice me to Disassociate.

by chok 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • chok
    chok

    What is really strange, is that after 15years my brother has decided to disassociate himself officially. He has written to both my parents and the congregation ( they havent actually received this letter yet!) I know they wont talk to him. He doesnt have any children so they wont be missing any grandchildren.

    They will continue to talk to me, because I have made it clear that I will not allow them to treat me as a second class citizen whilst still playing happy families with MY children (I know that may sound cruel!) But shunning is cruel and sickening. And besides what would I tell my children, and what would they TEACH them?

    Thats a really good point Bonezz, I hadnt looked at it that way. I guess I would be conforming to their sick little rituals of doing things. To be honest I dont think they need to ask any questions anyway. I think the twinkling lights of my xmas tree says it all!

    Chok

    x

  • Country Girl
    Country Girl

    It's all so ridiculous how these JWs think that people *outside* of their organization give a rat's arse about their ridiculous and silly little rituals, none of which make any sense. It's like Chok's elementary school teacher calling her after she's in college and telling her that she won't speak to her anymore if she doesn't clean the blackboard like she promised she would in 4th grade! Get a life, people! Clearly, she's moved on with her life and is happy; let it remain that way. If families weren't so damaged by this stupid religion, it would be such a laughable extreme.

    Country Girl

  • AK - Jeff
    AK - Jeff

    there seems to be a fixation with getting things 'tied up' - either get back to the 'truth' or get out officially. My wife and I have decided - at least at the moment - that we will let them make the next move - why should we play into their hands here -?

    ray franz even mentioned that one CO got an inactive sister to just sign the back of a note scribbled on an envelope stating that she didn't want to be a witness - the next week she was DA'd -

    To bad they don't put so much effort into love and concern - hmmmmm

    Jeff

  • LDH
    LDH

    I would ask them, "Why should I quit an organization that doesn't really exist?"

    That should do for the first shock. I would then (being me) probably add that you would prefer it if the people you grew up around would write you a letter and identify themselves as a fairweather friend, so you will know not to waste your precious time with them.

    LOL!!!

    Lisa

    Odd Mood Tonight Class

  • mkr32208
    mkr32208

    If you disassociate yourself you are giving support to their claim to be gods stewards, same with going to a Judicial Committee DON'T DO IT!!!!!!!!!! Don't honor their foolishness in word or deed!

  • blondie
    blondie

    Why should you make it easy for the elders? If they can prove you did something to be DF'd about, they need 2 witnesses.

    If you DA yourself, your devoited parents will not be able to talk to you and technically not be able to see your child since they will most likely have to talk to you.

    A little suggestion, don't ever let your parents have your child unattended. They will try to convert them.

    Welcome to the board...don't disassociate (DA) yourself.

    Blondie

  • Sunspot
    Sunspot

    Congratulations chok, on your new life and your expected new little one!

    I'ts ALL up to YOU! If you feel more comfortable in being "done with all of it" then by all means write your DA letter.

    If you'd rather NOT write one because you take the chance of the "shunning thing" coming into play---then don't. It is all your choice and all the stupid WTS reasoning is not your concern.

    If your family is uncomfortable that you'll be showing shortly, this is THEIR "problem" and not yours. The WTS loves to play the "image" game, and how things "look" to others, although they are playing a bigger scam on 6 million people than we could ever dream up on our best day!

    They can blow all the smoke they want to, and strut around sounding important, but you have taken back the control over your life and you are very happy without them! If anything smells like control over you and your decisions---ignore it!

    hugs,

    Annie

  • FreeWilly
    FreeWilly

    I think it's important to remember that YOU are no longer bound to the control tactics of this religion. You do not have to play their silly game. Your parents still do, but that is their choice. I think you should convey this when you speak with your parents.

    Maybe point out that they are selling out their family for the sake of a few old men they've never met. Point out that they are more concerned with the congregation members opinions and gossip than that of their own children. It's as if they are asking you to go away so the congregation gossip will be more bearable for them.

  • bull01lay
    bull01lay

    Hi Chok,

    Sounds wise not to trust their motives. First and foremost they are witnesses, parenting comes as a second responsibility.

    Congratulations on your pregnancy - I hope you and your partner will be happy together as you start your own family!

    Best of luck,

    Bull!

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Actually, I think it's best asking to be let out than to be asked out by the WTBTS. So, I agree with your parents.

    DY

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