Oh my gosh Brenda, Your mother actually had that talk with you. That's too weird for words.
Marriage question
by starfish422 41 Replies latest jw experiences
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
If you were married by an elder, now that you're out, do you feel that somehow your marriage is less valid?
No, but I would love to renew my vows with doc someday - write our own vows and share them in front of people who truly love us and who we truly love. Our marriage is valid, of course, and the fact that it was a stupid ceremony done in a rather sterile way doesn't change that I meant my vows when I said them. But I would love to have the chance to share with the world what doc really means to me and what our love is now.
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
I never got married, but I have the impression that JW's who obey don't have much of a sex life...Do they?
Go with your impressions.... :-(
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kitties_and_horses_oh_my!
They did do the questions before the wedding about sex etc. Come on now! What couple doesn't do the rubbing thing, making out, and other stuff in the ORG. I know lots that have. Then they give these couples the pre-marital quiz and we all lie our faces off. It's pathetic. It's a problem/system that they themselves have created. I would like to know if there actually are any JW couples that haven't made out before marriage. I mean come on now, let's be honest here!
Honestly - we totally made out, all the time. We'd find all sorts of "public places" that weren't so public... All of our friends did the same thing.
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czarofmischief
My dad was the man they called when they wanted to hear the "Sex and God" talk. Believe me, they called him in from all OVER the city to give that talk. I must have heard it seriously, 25 times. No other elder wanted to give it. He didn't really want to either, but he was nice enough and mature enough to do it; so he did it.
I've had my father warn me against oral and anal sex; as well as masturbation. From the PLATFORM!
In many ways, I learned to be a stronger person. I mean, you've got to respect somebody who is willing to do the job that nobody else has the balls to do. Zounds!
CZAR
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LittleToe
... and another thing. I think our wedding vows were something along the lines of "do you promise to respect and honour {insert name} for as long as you both shall live together on earth...", which subsequently gave me pause for thought, once we separated...
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LittleToe
Czar:I used to love giving that talk - "A Godly View of Sex and Marriage".
I was never particularly prudish and it used to be fun to see folks squirm in their seats. -
stillajwexelder
Outline Number 13 Little Toe
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jwbot
I was not close enough to marry as a JW...I dated one JW and we were ALL OVER EACH OTHER.... But seriously, you are not allowed to make out even if you are engaged? I thought that just depended on the parents... Because my parents sorta let my sister and her fiance a little alone time as long as they did not have sex...oops.
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JustTickledPink
I was raised in the religion and was always told what was acceptable... I think being a girl the elder's wives and such tend to preach during service and really pound it into your brain what is good and what is bad.
Don't you all remember the scriptures about "keeping the marriage bed clean and sanctified" and stuff like "the natural use of the female" ... meaning the female body is built for sex in this certain way, which produces offspring, other "unnatural" uses of the female just lead to uninhibited pleasure and we'll have NONE of that!!!!
The "natural use of the female" bit used to crack me up.
I do know that MARRIED couples were all counseled back in the day. Probably 15 years ago, I had a friend who was married. There were 3 couples who all hung out together, and the wives pioneered and had babies, etc... they were all friends. Well, some elders wife got wind that the wives were performing oral sex... so all three couples were hauled into an elders meeting and all told NOT TO BE DOING THAT ANYMORE!!! I mean seriously, I can remember her telling me that the elders gave them specific directions not to be having any form of oral sex.
And about JWs having a good sex life???? I don't know that many that were all that happy. I knew 2 couples that slept in seperate bedrooms, they had their 1 or 2 token kids and then all moved into seperate bedrooms. It was sad, not common knowledge, but I knew about it.