JW Urban Legends...

by ThisGuy04 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • Mary
    Mary
    The shoes were demonized. The brother threw away the shoes immediately and he returned to his usual safe driving again. He never got another speeding ticket.

    LMFAO.............Did they look anything like this:

  • JustTickledPink
    JustTickledPink

    OMG, I am reading these DYING laughing... I remember being told Smurfs were demonized, I remember the John Denver concert thing, and I remember the demonized garage sale items. It's so weird, I forgot all that crap.... ahhahaaaaa

  • undercover
    undercover

    This one isn't so much about demons and smurfs etc. but it was told more than once from the stage to try to make sure that the dubs acted properly at all times:

    A young MS brother was on his way to the KH for Saturday morning field service. He was running late, but was anxious to get there because the visiting Circuit Overseer was in town and he wanted to impress him. As he was driving like a bat out of Hades he get's behind an old man in a hat driving slow. The old guy just wasn't keeping up with traffic and our young brother was having a hard time getting around him. When he finally got around him the young MS gave an obscene gesture at the old geezer as he blew past him. The brother gets to the hall and is just stepping inside when the old geezer pulls into the KH parking lot. Yep, you guessed it....it was the CO. The young finger-gesturing brother was deleted as an MS at the following meeting.

    Scary, ain't it?

  • starfish422
    starfish422

    Most of mine in recollection involve demon-possesed inanimate objects. A maternity blouse that was passed along second-hand to a pregnant sister; a dog collar of all freakin' things; the demon-possesed clothing that won't burn.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    I'd heard some of these, others are variations of "old standard" Urban Legends.

    I burned all my precious "worldy" records when new (I was pressured), I hoped they wouldn't burn- they did.

    I burned my ouija game board, hoped it wouldn't burn- it did.

    The smurf thing I only heard from kids- no adult gave it any credence.

    The "demonized" garage sale stuff was a dilema as most Dubs are so cheap ass they can't turn down a bargain, but of course the best bargains are ALWAYS demonized. Very convenient way to explain away anything bad that happens to you.

    The Avon lady schtik is "classic".

    But here's a new one. What about the brother who is shot at while walking up to the door but the bullet lodges in his Bible and saves him.

    Or the pioneer who only has $2.00 for gas to get to the convention that's 500 miles away but the car miraculously makes it there and back on just $2.00 worth of petrol? Don't believe it? Yee of little faith!

    Or the brother who was going to quit service for the day, but somehow felt "compelled" to go to this one last door, and lo and behold the householder was on his knees about to blow his head off if "God" didn't send him a sign. Apparently extortion works with "God". Of course a "study" was started and that guy is now on the GB.

    Or the poor sister who lived in shoe, she was so broke she didn't know what to do. Lo she went out in service and LUCKY for her she gets rear ended and gets a settlement and a new car. J does bless those who put K first.

    Or all the "millionaire's" that come in the troof and give up everything (except their Swiss bank account, that they conveneintly omit) to pioneer and never have a care or worry as J "takes care" of them.

    Or the bro's that quit their high paying jobs to "do more" only to have their bosses come begging to them to not leave, so they cut their hours in half and double their salary, and let them have free reign at work, because Dubs are the best employees you can have?

    Or, or ,or...

    Does anyone buy this horsesh*t? What Stinks

    u/d


  • franklin J
    franklin J

    ...how about the brothers and sisters in southeast Asia who were not killed by the Tsunami because they were out in service or at the meetings....

  • Elsewhere
    Elsewhere
    But here's a new one. What about the brother who is shot at while walking up to the door but the bullet lodges in his Bible and saves him.

    Hey, I saw an episode of Myth Busters where they covered a very similar urban legend. They Setup several books of different thickness and shot at them with different types of guns.

    The bullets went right through them all.

  • dh
    dh
    So Gene Simmons says to the audience (I guess they must have quieted down quite a bit, since NONE OF THE EQUIPMENT IS WORKING), "There must be some Jehovah's Witnesses in the audience!"

    i heard something similar about annie lennox (from the eurythmics), at a concert she came out on stage before the show started and asked any jehovah's witnesses in the audience to leave, because they weren't welcome and brought bad karma with them or something like that.

  • upside/down
    upside/down

    The one that slays me is the family in "only God knows where" that walks 20 miles each way to the meetings and has to cross the crocodile infested river each time with the grandparents and children in tow. That's 40 miles each meeting, 3 days per week not counting FS. And of course there are guerilla soldiers everywhere, an poisonous snakes killing everyone- but by singing Kingdom Melodies they are "protected".

    Why don't these dumbsh*ts move? They should be tri-athletes with their work out regimen.

    Stupid me, I bought insurance- shoulda just sang Kingdumb Songs! I'd a saved a bundle.

    u/d

  • Dustin
    Dustin

    With all the talk about different bands, I remember AC/DC was suppossed to stand for Anti Christ Devil Children. I totaly remember the Smurf thing. I remember the meeting stopped once because supposedly a Smurf had run by the water fountain while she was taking a drink. Whatever she was on, I want some of that. Also do you remember when people would see Jesus in some inanimate object? They would say they saw Jesus in their frying pan while cooking eggs, in their mirror, in their glass of milk. What a bunch of whak-jobs.

    Dustin

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