Before You Leave The Witnesses, You MUST Make New Friends!!!

by minimus 55 Replies latest jw friends

  • minimus

    My advice to anyone that is thinking of leaving the "organization" is to make friends (real friends) with people other than Jehovah's Witnesses. The sad truth is that JWs are ONLY conditional "friends". They will drop you like a hot potato if they think you want to leave. Years ago, when a person got df'd or simply left, there really was no other place to go because they felt isolated. Without any outside friends, the fact was, they needed to talk to someone----so, they'd come back to the "united brotherhood". At least they might be included in social activities again. Now, in the internet age, with "apostofests" and the knowledge that there's more of "us" out there than "them", there's no reason we can't get to know other people and get a base of support in order to successfully get out!.......Do you agree with my comments?

  • lonelysheep

    I agree. Have a life already outside of jw's because once you're done, it's goodbye to them for good.

  • babygirl

    i did mke a lot of new friends, and also rekindled some old "wordly" friends & family who were delighted i left the org, they couldn't believe i ever entered to begin with.....

  • Sassy

    Good idea Minimus.. Because those who obeyed and did not have any 'worldly' friends, when they quit, find themselves in a world alone. If you were raised as a witness, you have no skills in making friends. We were supposed to make them in field service or at the meetings. But all those friends are gone as if you have the plague when you stop being a JW.

    I'm so fortunate to have made many friends now but it was lonely at first when I got out.Thankfully I've made several friends locally and through people online that lived nearby so I no longer feel the loss of friendships.

    oh yeah.. and I contacted old friends who I had known through the years who were not dubs! Sent them Xmas cards last year and boy were they happy to rekindle friendships!!

  • bagpuss

    You are so right. Since leaving my life has become a life not just an existence.We now have real friends,people who really care about us and accept us for who we are.Its great to go out and ENJOY ourselves,something i never really did in 15 years as a jw.

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    You make a good point about the Friendship in the JW,s being conditional.When i stopped going about 18 months ago,i was dropped like a hot coal by most of my "Friends".But i realized that there were still afew who were good mates.They still are now...tho obviously they dont do so much with me was useful (and gratifying)to have them as Friends as i made the transition to a normal life!

    Now i have plenty of Mates outside the religion and a wonderful "worldly" girlfriend.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Yes, indeed Minimus!

    I've got a nice network of new friends at work and in the community. This is why I'm sure to fill the void leaving the Witnesses will leave.


  • minimus

    I must say, "Bagpuss" is a great name---whatever it means. ......The trick JWs play on you is to MAKE you get rid of all your friends AND your family!! And we do it! We are told we please Jehovah when we stop socializing with even our families! Sick. Sick. Sick.

  • Swan

    I made several new friends prior to leaving and called upon them frequently during that period of time. They were the best friends a person could have. They listened. They didn't always understand what I was going through or what it had been like for me, but they knew it was something traumatic that I needed help with, and they were there for me when my own flesh and blood turn their backs on me. No better or loyal friends could I have chosen and I will forever be indebted to them. One of them even ended up being my husband.


  • Sassy
    We are told we please Jehovah when we stop socializing with even our families!

    don't you know that was the identifying sign Jesus said ??

    oh yeah LOVE huh.. hmmmmm

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