Dear Mrs. Horton,
Yah, you're exactly right, I mean by looking at depression as an illness just like any other illness. It's AMAZING, though, how the majority of people will look at it like it's "all in your head." I feel like sayin, "Yah, it IS all in my head, but it's a chemical IMBALANCE up in there." I have had alot of people look at me and say "get over it. It's all in your head. Get your act together."
Hey, a nights sleep can make alot of difference, you're right. And sometimes I know exactly how I am going to feel for the rest of the day by how I feel when I wake up, although I do have a certain amount of control over it.
I have been on lots of medications, also. However I have not had one that was effective. Paxil, Prozac, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, ect. and on and on. I decided that I am not going to spend years trying to find the right medication...lately I have been considering it again though. Honestly, what they did for me, was give me the small amount of motivation I needed to fake a good mood.
I was diagnosed with PTSD also, but I don't think my doctor knew what he was talking about. Then again though sometimes I wonder if I do have it.
Yah, I live at home with my parents. Both my parents are on disability so it's hard. I'm waiting to hear from my big sis (much older...36 ..,about an 18 yr difference) about a huge construction job she's supposed to get to work on in a few weeks. I really enjoy working with her and think it will help me alot to be around her and to have a job, since I don't right now.
Spending time with my big sis and my friends is what helps me.
I know that depression can be really hard on marriages. My best friend is 46 and has severe depression, and it is very hard on her relationship with her husband sometimes. But he supports her no matter what and I know that helps her tremendously.
One thing that I find helps me sometimes, that is if I have enough motivation to start with, is finding something to accomplish. Today I woke up and decided I had to do something productive. Got alot done and it made me feel better than I would have otherwise.
Does your husband know alot about depression?
I sometimes get online when I am doing really bad and look up information on depression, to "remind" my mom and dad that I am not lazy, dumb, crazy or just plain stubborn or mean. It helps (for a while lol) Then I have to remind them again....but I also have to constantly be on myself about trying to put myself in their shoes..I wouldn't like me much either sometimes. And I try to apologize to them when my behavior confuses them or hurts them.
Depression is an up and down thing. Kind of like a roller coaster ride. Just try to grab on and hold on tight when you reach a point where you're doing better. Between my ups and downs I think I have really improved myself and how I deal with it and I feel LOTS better than I used to when I was younger.
If you ever need to talk, PM me. or if you have messenger, and ever need to talk, I am scarlett_skies_2001 on yahoo and scarlyttskys on aol instant messenger.
((HUGS))
~Sarah
