Were you ever a victim of the "JW STARE"?

by doodle-v 33 Replies latest jw friends

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  blondie

  I got that stare from people at the KH when I was an active JW attending meetings and pioneering. The gossip mill is so active. If a sister didn't like you, she would go tell another sister a lie about you and then their little group would all give you that stare. I once went out in service with 2 sisters on a regular basis who never talked to me when it was just us 3 in the car. If a 4th sister was added, they would talk to her but not to me. The 4th sister would not talk to me when she realized the other 2 wouldn't talk to her when she did. Oh, the love!

  Blondie
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  Schizm

  Yeah, I got the "stare" once. Although having been baptized for a few years I apparently hadn't progressed as fast as what some thought I should have, yet I had invested in a couple of materialistic recreational items--something over which a person is held in less esteem for unless at the same time he is viewed as truly making his advancement manifest. Plus, I had begun to have doubts about the 1914 doctrine (which others knew nothing about). At the time, I didn't quite understand the "stare" (an attempt to inflict guilt). Now though, looking at things from the standpoint of the one dishing it out, I think that I do understand. You see, that particular person had made all sorts of sacrifices as a JW: regularly used as a speaker for Sunday talks; didn't have as secure a job as what I did (which was by choice I might add) etc. I haven't seen that person but once since the day (many years ago) he attempted to make me feel so uneasy with the calculated "stare". At the time it happened I'm sure the person had sensed that I had begun to feel a bit uncomfortable being at the meetings, and felt what I really needed was to "do more spiritually" ... but instead was beginning to do more in a material sense. That having taken place decades ago makes me wonder what that person is thinking by now ... now that the "generation" idea has been abandoned and all signs indicate that the 1914 doctrine will have to be scrapped as well. I really don't hold a grudge against the person, because in his mind there was justification for the "stare" and he had what he thought was my best interests at heart. He knew nothing about the doubts I had begun to have with regards to the 1914 doctrine. All he *saw* was that I had slowed down and had bought those recreational items. Too him I had become less Theocratic and more materialistic. Hence, the "stare".

  .
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  gitasatsangha

  Yes but after I realized the problem I zipped it up. Problem averted.
• 

  darkuncle29

  There is also the Anti-stare where they go out of their way NOT to make eye contact

  That is a weird little thing, and I still lapse into it on occasion. oh I need profesional help.
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  prophecor

  I've never had the stare at a meeting so much as I was seen at a local shopping mall by friends who hadn't seen me in about 8 years.

  By then I had grown a full beard, and though they were gracious enough not to treat me as someone who'd just escaped a leper colony, there was the peculiar sense that they didn't quite know how to handle the situation.

  We hugged and exchanged pleasantries, but it was clear that they were incredibly uncomfortable.
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  Rabbit

  I've gotten the stare and the anti-stare, when I first started to be marked, with gossip.

  Schisms, ever been had a Rabbit stare ? Because you won't answer questions that you started ?

  Tell us about Lot and his daughters.
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  Mysterious

  Where do dubs learn that unearthly stare?? It's just creepy.

  Behavioral learning of course...passed down from generation to generation..I know I had it as a young child when there was 'that' kid whose parents didnt go very often but he came to the library with us on remembrance day..I remember pointedly asking my friend why is HE here and giving him the stare.
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  tweedy

  I remember going into Costco one Saturday morning thinking that maybe I would not run into any JW's because they are suppose to be out on service that early in the morning. That was not the case this Saturday morning. I was in the meat department when someone from behind called out my name I turned to see this sister that I had known when I was married to my JW husband. I gave her a hug thinking that she expected it but apparently not. I felt so weird thinking I shouldn't have hugged her. She didn't hug me back. She looked at me not saying a word. Stared at me until I finally said I was in a hurry I needed to get back to my children. I felt like I was in Twilight Zone. Meanwhile her husband was in the background telling his wife "lets go." Not even saying hello to me. I just smiled away. It was very disturbing to say the least but I didn't show it. Another time I went with both my teenage children and saw this elder with his wife. He stared at me giving me dirty looks throughout costco. I just ignored him. Maybe he noticed I looked different. I was not dressed like before, in very long dresses 5 sizes bigger to cover my body. I was different, I was dressed up like normal people dress up today. I was happy not depressed like the brothers expect to see you after you leave the org. I remember my father once saying to my younger brother "your sister is going to fall flat on her face since she left the org." That was 5 years ago and I have never been happier. When I left the org, I felt like going to the beach and throwing off my sandals and raising my hands in the air and yelling I'm free, I'm free. I now smile at those ugly stares I get from JWs. They don't scare me.

  Tweety
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  SAHS

  Your stand up during the song and suddenly what seems like the whole cong gets afflicted with the JW STARE. Some even literally turn around and STARE as if you were an alien or your body is turned inside out and you're the only one that doesn't notice.

  You really want to know how to get a good stare at the Kingdom Hall? Just put up your hand to give a comment in the Watchtower study, and then when you get the microphone, try to incorporate a Scripture citation in your answer, and when you can?t seem to think of the chapter and verse, just pull out an ouija board and look it up on that. Then turn your head a full 360 degrees plus another 180 degrees to face the back and, while something like pea soup is coming up out of your mouth, yell out, ?What the f^@# is everybody looking at??

  It seems to work for me, anyway.

  ?SAHS (of the ?commenting privileges revoked? class)
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  prophecor

  Boy, that reminds me of the time while working in a group home, it became necessary to take one of the consumers to the local hospital. When we got inside, we had to stop at the security desk. At the desk was a sister I had known from my previous life as a JW, and although I was there on official business, she gave the most blatantly obvious stare of detest I will never forget, she would have preferred not to give any information or been obliged to say anything at all to me. I believe had I come in as a heart attack patient, she would've considered it as divine providence, and shuffled me out the back door to die.

  Very disheartening having to deal with JW's from outside the KH in a professional atmosphere. They can't bridge the fact that there are times when you just have to disassociate yourself from being the person whos a Witness to being a human being who needs to show at best, the minimum in concern.