So much for "fading"... we're out!

by AlmostAtheist 29 Replies latest jw friends

  • AlmostAtheist

    Gina just got off the phone with her mom. We were tired of lying to these otherwise nice people, not to mention disinfecting the car of all "worldly" paraphenalia, and fearing the inevitable "pop-in" visit while holiday decorations are up. She felt bad about it, and so did I. But now it's over. Her mom has already decided to shun us for having spoken to another disfellowshipped person, and she'll be talking to her elders. In a few days or so, I expect the circus to start up. We don't intend to give anybody a hard time, but we're not going to waste any of our precious life before a judicial committee, or explaining why the Watchtower's a cult to guys that will not be one bit budged by it. Screw a "letter", we're already out as far as we're concerned. They can tidy up the place themselves.

    So it's over. It's a relief, but it's also tragic. Especially for Gina, who is coming to grips with losing access to her mom. I think in time they'll soften a bit. The "necessary family business" of dropping off the kids for a visit will probably lengthen as the months and years pass. But it'll surely never be the same.

    For those of you of a praying bent, please send a prayer or two to your favorite deity for Gina.


  • LittleToe

    Thinking of you both.
    The next few days may be difficult as you readjust to the realities of it actually having come to this.
    As for prayers - they are a given

    Take good care of Gina, but don't neglect yourself, either.

  • Stefanie

    aww Dave

    Give Gina a big hug. I would be devasted if my mom stopped talking to me.

    I will be thinking of you both tonight.

  • jst2laws


    My wife and I tried to faded, we too failed. So we went out with a bang. Yes, we lost many relatives. About one year ago at my father's memorial my sister, trying to excuse her JW non-christian behavior told us it was our fault since we "chose to do this". I have made it clear to them that we acted in good conscience as everyone should do. It was the WT the "chose to do this" to us and ruin our family relationships.

    Try to keep the issues in focus. It is not you or your wife. You are reacting normally to abnormal to an abnormal situation. It is the WT publishing company and your relatives who "publish" for this institution who "chose to do this".

    Its is a hard reality that brings pain. You have our support and respect for acting on what you know.


  • confusedjw
    Her mom has already decided to shun us for having spoken to another disfellowshipped person, and she'll be talking to her elders.

    Does this sound more like something from the Bible or the movie "The Firm"?

  • Joyzabel
    So it's over. It's a relief, but it's also tragic.

    I agree. You cannot begin to believe what a relief it is. No more looking over your shoulder, no more wondering who will see what. The pain will still be there because no matter what, shunning hurts. But rise above it and know that your freedom is a wonderful feeling that people who are under mind-control will NEVER understand until they are free.

    I'm glad you have each other. Now learn what it really means to be married. No organization or family comes between the two of you. Lean on each other for support and enjoy the good times.


  • shotgun

    Take care of each other and your baby, it will be the comfort you need to deal with family shunning.BTW

    For those of you of a praying bent

    Is that where the expression get bent comes from...doesn't seem so bad in that context.

  • Gretchen956

    I'm both happy and sad for you both. Happy that you have made your escape permanent and final, closure is a powerful thing, and, of course, sad that you have to lose family to this insanity they propogate. Take care, both of you, of course my prayers will be added to the rest.

    Bless you,


  • Corvin


    It's in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped. You have done the right thing for yourselves, although not easy. To thine own self be true as they say. Cudos and condolences. There is a loss to deal with now and I wish you both the best while healing.


  • Angharad

    ((((Dave & Gina))))

    Stay strong and look after each other, it will get easier

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