I once crushed a nerve in my pinky finger when stripping some wire in a tight spot on a rewire (it took about five years for the feeling to come back, and would be the first part to go numb every Winter).
Talking about electricity, since 240v is the standard electrical voltage over here, I've had a couple of pretty nasty shocks. I was once replacing a window where there was a lovely old brass two-pronged shaver socket in the surround. After being told by the householder that it had been killed off in the rewire a few years before (it had the old crumby rubber coated wiring) I promptly set about the wires with a pair of nair pincers (it was too much effort to go downstairs for the insulated sidecutters, for something that was dead, right?). As I held the earthed brass fitting and snipped the first wire both elbows and my chest exploded with pain.
LOL @ Schizm.
I know I shouldn't laugh but you out that well!
It also reminded me of a friend of mine who sliced off the end of a finger with a Stanley knife. he popped it straight back on and held it there, bandaging it when the bleeding stopped. When it healed he realised that he'd put it back on wrong and now he is eternally endowed with an unusual fingerprint!!!
Screwdriver stabbings count as well, huh? Ok!
I'm impressed by the stapling incident. Steel toe-capped boots aren't standard there, huh?
Though there's an urban legend that an Irishman once was so proud of his steelies that he boasted you could run over them with a steamroller. He soon found out that whilst the steel remained intact, that the steel inserts would pierce the soles of the boot, as he found his toes stapled to the road...
My cousin has to take the biscuit for being the most calamity-prone, though. He truly did some silly things, often with my uncle on the receiving end.
Just one non-painful funny, though. He was once digging up a domestic sewer pipe, replacing 18" broken clay pipes with a PVC drain. as he was fetching pieces out he came across this bar of something, that he couldn't make out. On closer examination it was a desiccated turd from the 60's. He screamed, jumped, and threw it, all in one swift motion.