You are not alone. It hurts me loads as well. I went through so many stages and it feels like I am just recycling stages sometimes rather than moving THROUGH them. Sometimes I am ANGRY, sometimes I feel so sorry for myself, other times I am accepting, I mean, it just goes on and on. I do not know when it ends. Depressing right? Well, no.....I have learned many things from my mother and brother's fanatical shunning,
It is not ME, it really is THEIR problem. They are not healthy people.
I do not want someone in my life that refuses to accept my decisions, family or not.
I cherish the family I still have even more.
I remember that they must hurt too, maybe even more than me. They are not truly happy like I am.
I LOVE my husband so so so so much. I would not trade this relationship for one family member that is currently shunning me. Therefore I might work even harder at my relationship with him and I certainly never take for granted the person that I got df'ed for. So in a way, being df'ed/shunned has strengthened my relationship with him and with members of the family that are 'worldly'.
If there is a God, I believe he will take vengence on this organization that encourages such hate.
I see my life on this earth now as a little piece of a big big picture. I am eternal, how I don't know, but I feel it and I am no longer afraid.
It comes down to whether or not you would trade freedom from the WTBS for your family. For me, freedom is something I would die fighting for, they WILL not dictate to me how to live MY life.
Being df'ed has been a blessing on many fronts. Being shunned as well. I enjoy seeing people for who they really are and I enjoy seeing myself as I really am.
The pain of not seeing them lessens, but what do they have to offer you now anyways? If not acceptance first, then nothing else really matters.
BTW, remember (I am still working on this one, it takes alot of strength) your parents may shun you, but that does not mean that you can't act like everything is as normal and just act like you are NOT df'ed. I told my mother to never ever see me as a label again. The first step is not to act like a label. Shock them: turn up for a coffee, let THEM turn you away, phone and blab about whatever, write, invite them over for dinner. I am going to see if this works, my hope is that over time, they will see the silliness of their shunning and slowly accept. If not, well that is ok too, I will only learn from this experience and have a clear conscience that I tried and I will be proud that I did not allow ppl to label me.
Remember examples such as the African Americans, if they had just quietly went to the back of the bus with their head down, nothing would have changed. MAKE them notice us!!!!!!