My daughter is getting married today!!!! But I'm too EVIL to attend...

by Bryan 40 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Purza
    Purza

    I am so very sorry Bryan. My parents will not attend my wedding and it really hurts.

    If she is young she may regret not inviting you later on in life. Maybe one day she will see the "light" and leave the JWs.

    My thoughts are with you.

    Purza

  • teejay
    teejay

    Wow, Bryan. That's tough. Sorry you had to deal with it.

    Knowing me, I have a good idea what I'd do, and I'd feel good about it, too.

  • confusedjw
    confusedjw

    Bryan. Awful just awful. I know though that 2 years ago I would have been right there with her.

    Now I just feel like getting on my knees and thanking the internet that my family came out with me and that no matter what we have each other - and I wish that for everyone else on this board.

    Again, I am sorry for you and her.

  • teejay
    teejay

    I'm curious to know what's going to become of your relationship with your daughter now. Do you still intend to contact her on occasion, or will you just wait for her to make the first move? What happens when you become a grandpa? Does she plan on telling her children that their grandpa is dead or something?

    Your predicament has been playing on my mind for days. I'd like to know how you'll resolve it.

  • jgnat
    jgnat

    Here's a little story to give you hope.

    I got pregnant before my eighteenth birthday. I wanted to be married before the birth, but I had to get my parent's signatures first. Dad refused to sign. Dad is a very ethical man, and he knew that my future husband was bad news. In good conscience, he could not sign a paper that would dig me deeper in to trouble, no matter how badly I wanted to. I was very angry with dad for a long time. I did not speak to him for three years. Of course, when I finally left my violent, cruel husband, I understood what my dad had been trying to say.

    One little moment during that time surprised the heck out of me. Dad was driving me back home from Christmas dinner. We did not speak the whole trip. At the door, he grabbed me in to a fierce hug, and then abruptly left.

    My daddy loves me.

    Bryan, I hope you will have little moments in the years to come to display your deep love for your daughter. The payoff may come much later, but I promise she will notice.

  • Flash
    Flash

    Bryan

    From one EVIL Dad to another...you have my deepest sympathy.

  • Alleymom
    Alleymom

    Jgnat --

    I hope your story does give Bryan some hope --- I thought it was very moving! I can just picture your dad grabbing you and giving you that hug.

    Jgnat wrote: Here's a little story to give you hope.

    I got pregnant before my eighteenth birthday. I wanted to be married before the birth, but I had to get my parent's signatures first. Dad refused to sign. Dad is a very ethical man, and he knew that my future husband was bad news. In good conscience, he could not sign a paper that would dig me deeper in to trouble, no matter how badly I wanted to. I was very angry with dad for a long time. I did not speak to him for three years. Of course, when I finally left my violent, cruel husband, I understood what my dad had been trying to say.

    One little moment during that time surprised the heck out of me. Dad was driving me back home from Christmas dinner. We did not speak the whole trip. At the door, he grabbed me in to a fierce hug, and then abruptly left.

    My daddy loves me.

    Bryan, I hope you will have little moments in the years to come to display your deep love for your daughter. The payoff may come much later, but I promise she will notice.

    Bryan --- Best wishes. You obviously love your daughter, and I pray that one day she will know it. Marjorie
  • Rabbit
    Rabbit

    bttt

  • detective
    detective

    Oh, Bryan. Sorry.

    I will never forget the look on my beloved's face last year when he opened the wedding RSVP from his parents. The only thing on it were the handwritten words "will not attend". He knew his mother had wanted to come after speaking to her. He really thought she would. But so much for wishing for a normal life. He just sank back in his chair and kept saying, "I can't believe it". He didn't cry... in front of me. Then again, he was still reeling from the fact that two non-jw relatives he was going to invite had died, without his parents bothering to mention it to him. I've never met his father before but I almost hate him (and I really don't hate anybody).

    I'm so sorry for you, Bryan. I really am. I hope your daughter will come around and show her love for you again. It could happen. I really hope it does.

  • Bryan
    Bryan

    Thanks again everyone for your concern and well wishes.

    My daughter still emails me. In fact her tone is much different from that of her first letter , breaking off our relationship. She did give me the address of her new apartment though she did not supply her new phone number (I am forbidden to call her). I always respond to her emails and send notes via snail mail about every two months.

    As far as grandchilden etc. I don't know. That road will be crossed later.

    It has been very difficult. As many of you know, I was abducted at age 2 by my JW father. I finaly found my mother at age 33, only to discover that she had searched for me for years then attempted suicide. She's like a 60 year old child. Soon after, my father and step-mother began shunning me (I'm an apostate). One of my step-sisters stopped talking to me, becuase I refused to accept her, "I ran into a door" story after her boyfriend gave her a black eye. And now, my daughter has left me as well. Not to mention the hateful letter she wrote.

    I'm tired of the depression and am considering getting back on the meds.

    Without a doubt, the one bright light in my life is my beautiful, patient, understanding, loving wife. Without her my life would be much darker.

    Thanks evryone,

    Bryan

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