I need help - Do I go to the ceremony or not?
I really need some good advice.
I have been dissasociated for 7 years--an ex:elder. I have three children, none of them have spoken to me since I left other than my son saying that they would "welcome me back with open arms if I return, but until then they would have nothing to do with me". This at the hospital bed where my mother (their grandmother) died less than a month later.
My middle daughter got married 2 years ago and for some strange reason I did not get an invitation. My son, a bethelite, is getting married this weekend. Again, no invitation. I am sure that there must be some mistake:-))
My question is: Do I attend the ceremony at the Kingdom Hall? Or do I forgo seeing him get married and not spoil the event? If I did attend, they could not evict me as it is a public place--correct or not?
Thanks for helping a confused but caring father.
He will always be your son. I say go, dress well, be polite, don't get freaked as they look at you as if you had 4 heads. Say hello to whomever says hello to you (if that happens). Leave after the ceremony without hanging around. Mail a gift, if you intend to give one. Be bigger than them!
I haven't posted in a long time but sometimes I sit late at night and read the posts. I read yours and I just started to cry. What brainwashed, pathetic people JW'S are.
If you've been away for awhile do you think you could go unnoticed in the back of the hall? Their are so many children who would just give anything for a father to be there for them. I would say for go because deep in his heart I'm sure he would want you there.
PS(I'm sure alot of people will disagree with me but thats my 2cents).
Do what love dictates.
When our son got married (we were still drones) his wife invited her df'd dad by way of having the invitation show up the day of the wedding. Now I think of how cruel that was. He was her father, always dreaming of walking her down the isle. How sad.
Remember, it is their silly rules to shun people and you don't have to live by those rules. You can live by love.
btw, welcome to the board.
I say go, dress well, be polite, don't get freaked as they look at you as if you had 4 heads. Say hello to whomever says hello to you (if that happens). Leave after the ceremony without hanging around
Yes, that's what I would do.
You will feel better for being there and it will make others think too.
Sorry for your pain Sprocket
Why not call your son and ask him if he minds if you go to the Kingdom hall, you heard he was getting married.
If you call him and ask even if you don't feel it's needed it would be a nice gesture, if he says no it will hurt but you'll be following his wishes. It pretty hard to hold a grudge against our children for sticking to what we taught them, think back to when you were a faithful elder and most likely did and said things you now consider hateful.
No easy answers sprocket, let your heart decide.
OMG. Just seen this. Sep 81 WT:
>>>>>SOCIALGATHERINGS AND DISFELLOWSHIPED RELATIVES
Normally, relatives are often together at meals, picnics, family reunions or other social gatherings. But when someone has unrepentantly pursued sin and has had to be disfellowshiped, he may cause difficulties for his Christian relatives in regard to such gatherings. While they realize that they are still related to him, they do not want to ignore Paul?s advice that faithful Christians should "quit mixing in company" with an expelled sinner.
There is no point in looking for some rule as to family members being at gatherings where a disfellowshiped relative might be present. This would be something for those concerned to resolve, in keeping with Paul?s counsel. (1 Cor. 5:11) And yet it should be appreciated that if a disfellowshiped person is going to be at a gathering to which nonrelative Witnesses are invited, that may well affect what others do. For example, a Christian couple might be getting married at a Kingdom Hall. If a disfellowshiped relative comes to the Kingdom Hall for the wedding, obviously he could not be in the bridal party there or "give away" the bride. What, though, if there is a wedding feast or reception? This can be a happy social occasion, as it was in Cana when Jesus attended. (John 2:1, 2) But will the disfellowshiped relative be allowed to come or even be invited? If he was going to attend, many Christians, relatives or not, might conclude that they should not be there, to eat and associate with him, in view of Paul?s directions at 1 Corinthians 5:11.
Thus, sometimes Christians may not feel able to have a disfellowshiped or disassociated relative present for a gathering that normally would include family members. Still, the Christians can enjoy the association of the loyal members of the congregation, having in mind Jesus? words: "Whoever does the will of God, this one is my brother and sister and mother."?Mark 3:35.<<<<<<
*If a disfellowshiped relative comes to the Kingdom Hall for the wedding, obviously he could not be in the bridal party there or "give away" the bride
So, turning up at the KH is OK, obviously.
When I married at the Hall, my best friend was DF'd. She came to the Hall and watched and made sure I saw her. We both started sobbing and it made my day to see her.
Now we are both faded and happily divorced!...love each other dearly and would never let anyone seperate us again.
Go...it may just be the one thing that touches that ice wall the WTS tries to build around our families hearts.
Peace and love on your journey.
As most I should say: go and be there. Be prepared that you will be shunned - but be there.
After all, you are his father. Good luck with whatever you will decide.
If you attend quietly, nothing may happen. If there is underlying anomosity, a scene could ensue. While the KH is a public building, insisting on that may lead to the police being called (I heard of it happening once). You can call your son if you think he will talk to you. Otherwise, get a nice gift and card and send it.