Some 20 years ago, when Mr Scully and I were planning our wedding, I was told flat-out by the elders that if I asked my best friend (raised a JW but not yet baptized girl) to be in my wedding party, that they would not permit us to be married in the Kingdom Hall. I caved to their wishes, believing their logic that it might be just the thing she needed to get her to commit to The Truth?. It didn't work out that way. I lost my best friend - she never spoke to me again after that - and in protest, many of my friends from my "home" congregation boycotted the wedding. That's one of my biggest regrets in life and I wish it could be undone.
Oddly enough, Mr Scully's brother became engaged to a young woman who was Studying? a few months later. Again the elders laid down the law with them and said that unless she got baptized, they would not let them be married in the Kingdom Hall. She did get baptized, but only after they postponed the wedding by several weeks. Since she didn't have any family who were JWs, the elders let her sister stand as her matron of honour, and they let her father give her away. You see, they were trying to Give a Good Witness? to these outsiders that they were "normal". They didn't feel that they needed to Give a Good Witness? to my best friend who already Knew The Truth?.
It still pissed me off that their control-mongering caused the destruction of a friendship. The double standard exists because they do whatever makes for the best Infomercial.
Love, Scully