I'm seeing a therapist now for this very reason of leaving this organization mentally.
I'm seeing a therapist now for this very reason of leaving this organization mentally.
hmmm, I was seeing a therapist for something else entirely when I left the dubs, or so I thought, but after a couple of years I've come to realize that it was all part of the same thing. I would never have been able to leave the dubs and stay gone if it hadn't been for the things about myself that my therapist helped me learn, like, being an intelligent, articulate woman who wants an education is a GOOD thing! It's not for everyone, seeing a counselor I mean, because the bad ones can really eff you up, but the good ones, well, it changed my life.
For me the damage is beyond repair. I will just go on with life as living in a shell with no way out. I have resolved myself to this fact and what ever happens happens... I have no social life at all and could not imagine one at all. My interaction with people is at a minimun and will not change. Outside my few rants on this board I have no social interaction with anyone and the prospects are not promising...OH well so much for the woo is me post...
Zeroguy, maybe you have few family or maybe they don't see you even if you have made attempts to see them in the past. Maybe you were always on the lookout for others or helped when you could. Maybe you realize that when you are on the other side of the road they will not stop to see how you are. Maybe you realize how heartless people are on the whole. Maybe if you are not throwing a party or making fun for them you are disposable and may only be useful in their conversations with each other whilst you are not there. And maybe you know that true love traveled on a gravel road once upon a time in your life. Maybe you see how humanity really is and mainly out for itself, reputation and walking on the right side of the road. Wherever you are at I hope you see people for who they really are. It may feel lonely but one revisit to family politics and their half baked intellects can be enough to make you realize you'd prefer lying in your own vomit. Sometimes the finest grasp anyone has on the English language is when they say nothing! And sometimes the greatest love you can show those whom you committed your soul to is to leave them all behind! It's taken a lifetime to get here and sometimes there's not enough life left to make an improvement! Cast your eyes on another horizon and see how you feel. Maybe you already have. As JW's many of us were searching for 'soul' and the search goes on albeit without expectation!
For me the damage is beyond repair. I will just go on with life as living in a shell with no way out. I have resolved myself to this fact and what ever happens happens... I have no social life at all and could not imagine one at all.
Wow, zeroday, I'm sorry you are feeling that way. I would say start visualizing right away. Imagine that you can have an interesting life outside of the shell and take it from there. I would also say that my personal experience therapy is very helpful. I have seen in many cases and my own included that sometimes we begin to live and feel in the way the WT told us we would live and feel after we leave. I also had to fight that the WT had programmed into me. But, that was just another lie that we were fed. We can live a fun and productive away from the WT. Yes, and it's ok to just have fun!
Yes, I did go see a shrink when I was leaving (or trying to leave) the JWs control of me and it helped me tremendously. It so happens I found one who had some experience with people who had left (trying to leave) high controllling religious cults. One of the best things I learned was how to set boundaries in my life--even in small ways ( i used to feel guilty just hanging up on telemarketers and would sit there and politely listen to them rattle on when I knew i wasn't interested in their products.) One of the things that religiions like the JWs do is to break down all your boundaries, so you are no longer able to set any personal ones, so it's easy for people to take advantage and have control over you. I learned that I didn't have to stand there politely and squirming with a grin on my face when the JWs came to my door and start chattering at me. At first I felt frozen in place whenever I encountered any JWs. Now I set my boundaries with them and just say NO--don't want to talk about it and walk away. I no longer have to explain myself or use any energy when dealing with any of the WT B.S.
There's no reason why you can't live your life just as happy as anyone else - with lots of friends. But do you want to? Don't let the dubs take that simple pleasure from you. I hope that you do get some help - real help. Not from this board. An actual human face. In any event, I wish you the best.
A lot more people than most realize do get help to get out of the dubs. It would be interesting to find out some numbers, but that's probably impossible. I was told by a mental health professional that once a long time ago... but I don't have anything else than that.
I didn't but recommend it, especially if the wit's are what you knew your entire life.
I will be seriously looking into it soon. Re-entering non jw's lives in my situation is far from easy and not an overnight process.
Yes I would and I currently do, eventhough I am out. It helps me to deal with the anger. It's funny though some of th ethings I tell him about the JW's he thinks I am joking. I tell him no it's true they do tell you what kind of sex a married couple can have.
Thanks for posting this question, minimus.
It's one I've tossed around in my own stubborn head from time to time.
I've utilized a counselling service through work, here and there, when I've wanted some extra support
and probably will do so again. It's set up to be fairly self-directed (which I like) and just essentially amounts to
someone confidential and neutral to talk with and bounce stuff off of, get pointed suggestions from,
alleviate some overwhelm, not feel entirely alone, or vent to when I feel like my friends or family
wouldn't be able to handle it or when I just don't feel safe telling anyone else what I'm grappling with in my life.
It also provides some gentle accountability for whatever goals I've set for myself.
I've certainly felt resistant to psych/counselling or coaching support, at times, though.
I don't like the idea that I could be brainwashed into some other CULTure/group-think mentality
and the irritation of someone taking notes about me that will stay in some file somewhere is like *blech*.
Plus, I tend to be just plain (stupidly/egotistically) proud a lot of the time
and don't want to admit I can use support at times, too, just like everyone else that leans on me.
So please don't tell anyone, you guyz, 'cuz I'm very attached to my strong and independant image
I don't want to be haunted by the past endlessly, though, and
I do want to enjoy my life now and in the future as much as poss,
as well as continue to be a solid person for my peeps to lean on.
So, yeah, I'm ultimately for facing fears and attacking whatever stands in my way
from as many angles as possible/tolerable.
I just don't expose any more to whatever counsellor than I feel comfortable with (I'm all about going at my own pace and never giving my power away again
no matter how "qualified" people supposedly are) and the confidentiality thing is great
so it's been good to face whatever fears and just talk one on one over the phone or in person
with someone far more compassionate and intelligent about human emotion than the dubs ever were. I've found it calming and
of some relief anytime I've utilized such a service.
One counsellor I interacted with said, you're fine, you just need to make some more friends.
Part of me thinks that's true and seems reasonable enough. *shrug* Another part of me thinks she just doesn't "get"
the magnitude of what I feel I'm dealing with on whatever day I actually get to a point of resorting to seeking her input.
But given my penchant for survival against all odds, and long-time accumulation of psychological strengths and abilities,
I'd certainly trust her much less if she told me I was whacked in the head and insisted I needed to see her 3 times a week
for an endlessly indefinite period of time at some exorbitant rate of $.
Counselling sessions have helped me through a particularly overwhelming dark spot or two post dubdom, though.
And conversations with friends and feedback on this forum have been a great support.
I've still got all kinds of walls up, but one brick at a time, they're crumbling.
And it's all good. :)
I am and so far so good.