Greetings Nosf,
The reason you feel that if there was a God, there isn't one anymore is because he has concealed his face from you. He knows you do not want to hear him and you do not wish for him to speak to you, so he has as you wished, concealed himself from you so that you can feel you have your "freedom" to do as you please. He still exists and he is still real, but he has concealed himself from you because you wanted him to. However, if you wish to draw close to him.. he will draw close to you.
Although you want nothing to do with him, he said to tell you that he knows that and that he still has love for you. He also said that if ever you wish to see him, he will reveal himself to you if you are truly "asking," truly "seeking," truly "wishing," and truly "knocking." It is not a difficult thing to do.. it is only a matter of whether you 'want' to or not. Take care,
Aaron