Ooooh, yeah, from another poster's experience, it might be better NOT to place the recording equipment in the couch. Sound gets a little fuzzy going through another man's trousers.
I'm getting a visit from the elders.........
by Gadget 44 Replies latest members private
-
-
Devils Advocate
I did the same thing about 15 years ago when I ran across a JW I knew and had liked when I was in the cult. I invited him to stop by and when he did he brought four elders with him. I had a tract that had questions for JW's...I'm sure youve all seen them...I just went down the list and asked the questions. The elders couldnt answer the questions and tried changing the subject or attacking the source. Of course I wouldnt let them get away with it and pressed them for answers. One by one the elders left, most of them grumbling and angry. Finally the JW I had initially invited took the pamphlet and said he'd ask his father (an elder) for the answers. He said he knew he could get into trouble for having apostate literature but the questions clearly disturbed him. I have seen him since, only in passing, and he still hasnt brought me any answers. Of course, I didn't expect him to. It was fun, though, giving the elders hell and turning the tables on them.
-
barry
G,day Gadget,
I would keep it simple if I were you the impact is far greater if people only have one thing to think about. But make it a good one.
I started a post a little while ago and I feel it would be a good one to bring it to their attention about disfellowshiping. You can find it on this site http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/764391/1.ashx
-
shotgun
Nothing wrong with settling unfinished business Gadget, you stated that when you were df'd you did not have the chance to do that.
It's up to you but I don't think I would record this talk as it sounds like more of a concerned friend thinking he may be able to help a lost sheep back to the flock. If it were the elders coming with pitchforks or preparing to df you then recording the visit would be recommended for both future reference and self defence.
I look at the intent when trying to evaulate things now, is thier intent to truly help you while they are actually the lost and misguided souls or is the intent to cause you harm in some way.
Just my thoughts...Shotgun
-
Belmont
Gadget - if he really were a concerned friend, he wouldn't be bringing along another elder.
-
reboot
What do you think, am I mad to do this or do you think it'll be a good way for me to let out some of the anger thats been built up in me?
Maybe, but it may also have an adverse effect and not only not deal with anger, but maybe make it even worse.
They'll stick to the party line, argue black is white and you wont change their minds as you won't be listening to their answers and they wont listen to yours...
Sometimes when we're near people we should be trying to forget it just brings back feelings of loss and pulls on our heart strings.You may fee a dependancy on their company as a link to the past life you've posted about missing so much and the friends that went with it.
This could prolongue the agony of loss and make you feel really upset and disrupt your new life that youre trying to build.
If this elder was genuinely interested in your welfare, acording to his rules; he'd shun you.
I tried showing an elder all the UN and paedophile information.It was laid out in front of him, plus the proof of the elder who was grossly dishonest...he wouldnt even look me in the eye...the two women i studied with were worried and sympathetic..and cwere shocked he would'nt discuss it or look at the proof...I was trying to get them out...and they could see that the society had behaved badly..but looked physically to the elder who motioned for them to leave..he'd finished with me and so had they.
My point is if youre also hoing they'll see your point of view for leaving; they won'tand you'll feel more frustrated than ever... their ridiculous blind faith even with evidence in front of them amy totally enrage you.
perhaps talking it over with a councellor would be a good way to move on...
I dont think the issue is the doctrine and the answer confrontation....the issue could be that you want to feel you're listened to and understood and you want them to give you validation for leaving...
you could send another letter instead.When you write worries down you can leave them behind a little and know that the other person has the information. but it leaves you free not to worry about it anymore.The ball's in their court.They would have the information and its their choice what to do with it..and you have it out and with no prolongued contact that could mess up your head.
Perhaps a councellor could help you to see that you dont need them to 'approve' of your leaving them.You left because they were wrong and you were right..and you had a concience.....you have the moral high ground already..it's really tough to feel like youve been left hanging with no proper understanding from them..but if they could see it they wouldnt be witnesses anymore...
Do you remember the book I sent you? Why dont you work through it-it's specifically for this type of problem..it's helping me work through my feelings of loss and would be appropriate to this situation too.If you need a 'partner' to go through it as it suggests I would be prepared to do it by phone or pm.
I've been to councelling this week.I'm not going again as my husband cant see why hitting me is wrong..it would serve no purpose to keep revisiting the situation and trying to make him see my point of view..he's incapeable and is too frustrating to keep putting myself through the agony....
the elders visiting you and you arguing your points will be a similar situation...you'll be the abused wife and they will drive you insane with frustration...the society is an abusive family that you should remove your self as far as possible from..for your sake.
-
LittleToe
If you think you might get some perverse fun out of it, by all means (I could understand that ), but I wouldn't go expecting for it to help any anger issues. It's more likely to provoke and upset you, than anything else.
I find DevilsAdvocate's experience interesting, in this regard.Anyhow, you have far more pressing matters - you never call, you never write...
I'll give you the same advice I gave Dansk, when he asked me if it was a good idea for him to DA.
Why bother?
Live your own life, by your own rules. They don't own you anymore...
Why give them the pleasure? -
shotgun
Very interesting points reboot..I especially liked this one:
Perhaps a councellor could help you to see that you dont need them to 'approve' of your leaving them.
Also after reading a few comments and rethinking the point about this possibly being a good intentioned friend...he may have good intentions but he is clearly a company man, he follows the rules and is bringing a second witness for his sheparding call.
Your free Gadget, no matter how much info you bring to the table it will not change the fact that you were df'd by a cult for not following they're rules.
P.S..Reboot sorry your situation is still bad, I hoped it had gotten better.
-
reboot
P.S..Reboot sorry your situation is still bad, I hoped it had gotten better.
Perhaps I should start a thread on the perfect trajectory for a stunning right hook...i'm ok.
I guess we all deal with things in different ways.It's interesting to note though, that as soon as you leave the WTBS behind mentally, the speed at which they leave your life.When their opinion ceases to become important it's very liberating.It's similar to leaving a marriage-you need to reach the stage of walking away without any unfinished business.. to carry on revisiting the situation would make it impossible to ever move on.
-
garybuss
In my opinion, a Witness is the worst person in the world to talk to about the Witnesses. Another former Witness is the best. If I have family who are important to me and are Witnesses who have some contact with me, the elders can easily work to change that to total shunning.
As long as the Witness elders control people who are important to me, I am also under the control of the elders and I can not afford to have a confrontation with them. If my family has contact with me and I am disfellowshipped, they likely do not view me as apostate, only defective. That can all change in one short meeting. I can be right or rejected. Which do I chose?
It's possible for me to be right and also be silent about my being right. Being right and being vocal are not necessarily the same thing for me.