It is gut wrenching when you first grasp in your own mind that what you believe to be absolute truth is actually phoney and manmade. It is beyond expression. Then the anger begins!
Amen and amen. Thanks Terry
Gumby
My Life in Jehovah's Service - VERY INTERESTING STORY
by Dogpatch 59 Replies latest jw friends
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gumby
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myelaine
Hi Terry,
I have two questions and a comment for you.
1. Do you believe the Bible ia absolutely error free?
2. Are you thankful that you prayed for Jehovah's will to be done in your life?
You were sifted .....hard.
Michelle
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Country Girl
That's a very wonderful and thought provoking story. Thanks Terry and many more happy "real" moments!
country girl
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Terry
Hi Michelle,
I started to answer your two questions and my answer grew to huge proportions! I'll give a simple reply and then slightly (I hope) elaborate.
1.Do I believe the Bible is error free?
Answer: I can't, based on my readings about how the bible was put together. In WHO WROTE THE BIBLE by scholar Elliot Friedman, the Professor explains how different oral traditions were collected and edited over the centuries to prop up certain tribal preferences. Various scholars and research specialists who do not have a religiously built-in bias report the sad news to any who want to read about it. The Jewish religion was regarded, even by the Jews themselves, as a collection of "just so" stories and cherished folk wisdom. Only ancient and naive people would argue that scriptures were data or information. Do a web search on the above titled book and read the synopsis. Go to the Straight Dope website. I also reccomend Elaine Pagels or Karen Armstrong's books. Don't trust people automatically when they write books. Find out who they are and what their bias might be. I checked out the above authors and I respect them.
Seondly, I think scholars have pretty much exploded the myth that the Christian Greek scriptures were divine. Hundreds of Jesus stories abounded. The earlier the story; the less of a super-hero we find. The farther away from Jesus' time; the more miraculous the stories become.
I also think Paul was the inventor of Christianity. The Jerusalem congregation was not interested in changing Judaism. Paul took neo-Platonic pagan philosophy and did a brilliant job of adapting it to the Jewish religion. His evangelic work was against Jesus' followers permission or respect. He sneaked around and did his own thing. Pagans were eager for the kind of Jesus he gave them.
Roman christianity became a policial power grab and orthodoxy was necessary to secure that power base. The compilation of a unique Bible canon was a series of heavily edited political choices. Read early historians such as Eusebius. The Early Church fathers spent most of their time killing each other, burning churches, struggling for the Emperor's favor and shutting up their opponents. Pagans were accustomed to heros who died and came back from the dead. Pagans were used to rulers who were both men and gods. Those pagans favored a version of Jesus that gave them that kind of heavenly ruler. Barbarians were more in favor of a mostly human strongman who wielded power. Their versions of Christianity prefer him to be human and a son of god rather than divine. Personal tastes and politics give us our Bible. There are no magic "original documents". It is all copies of copies of hearsay in a million jigsaw pieces we have.
I'm saddened by this, but, I'm able to accept it. Why? Because it frees us all from an ancient book of wisdom that can be used by power hungry mystics to control us by claiming a mysterious channel of communication to god!
2.Your second question about my willingness to do Jehovah's will is a fine question.
Let me say this first. I don't think a Supreme Being should be referred to in the way JW's do it.
I would not call my own earthly father by his name," Wesley". I'd only call him Dad, or Papa, etc. It is extremely disrespectful to address your elders, your leaders, your superiors by their personal name. JW's act like they automatically have God's attention simply by saying the magic word: Jehovah. Jews have always preferred not to disrespect God by casual use of his personal name. They are not superstitious about it--they are respectful. Now, having said that I'll answer your question directly. I am personally ashamed of my life! There, I've said it. Walking around pretending I have a divine mission in life was hubris and, frankly, silly. Having an "invisible friend" is not a sign of a healthy mind. Once I realized that God NEEDS NOTHING because God is complete; THEN and only then did I get my mental perspective straight. JW's act like they have a job to do FOR god. Nonsense! People are the ones who have needs because they are frail and temporary creatures with short life spans and many weaknesses. To waste our lives ignoring each others actual needs is cruel and unnecessary! God needs nothing! We need everything. We must, simply must get our priorities straight. God doesn't die; we do. God doesn't get hungry or need shelter; we do. Yet look how millions of silly humans build houses for god and waste their lives turning prayer wheels looking for patronage from a guy in the sky.
I now believe that humans need to use their minds and energies in making their own lives meaningful by careful choices. We make life or we break life by our personal choices. GOD is a distraction from what really matters since God needs nothing and has everything already. We have so little and hardly any time to do anything about it. FACT: God never says anything. Have you heard him say anything?
Millions of JW's give their time and energies and even their lives chasing an imaginary idea around while ignoring their own flesh and blood, their families, their real friends and build no life at all. JW's are not wealthy people; they are under educated and frail blue collar workers who make the Brooklyn Slave executives rich and powerful.
Relgion is an upside down mistake mostly because it ignores the needs of human beings which are real needs. It robs from the poor and gives to the rich. I repeat: God needs nothing; we are the ones with needs.
I hope the above doesn't sound too "preachy" and strident in tone. I have no channel to God's ear. I have no mystical connection to the divine. I'm just a guy. Ignore me if I sound goofy.
Indeed, I have spent most of my life in goofy pursuits. So, consider the source!
But, thanks for your kind words. I hope I answered your question honestly.
Terry
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Sunspot
**The beauty of KNOWING you have the Truth is that you are filled with a peculiar glow of absolute certainty. It is better than any drug and leads to enormous personal confidence.
Terry, you have written a beautiful piece. I enjoyed it so much---not for your pain---but your writing ability.
That POSITIVE FEELING in your gut (that also rules your entire way of life and thinking) that YOU have the "truth" and that you can and DO depend on these teachings----has an impact that only ones like us can appreciated or understand.
That "kicked-in-the-stomach" feeling that overtakes you as the layers peel away, is unmatchable. It's right there with actual physical pain. Then the fright sets in--WHAT have I done with my LIFE (30 years for me) and what do I DO about it now? It's a raw and emotional battle within yourself that was one of the roughest in my life.
Thank you for sharing this with us----it was very well done. And WELCOME to the board.
hugs,
Annie
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willyloman
Once I realized that God NEEDS NOTHING because God is complete; THEN and only then did I get my mental perspective straight. ... People are the ones who have needs because they are frail and temporary creatures with short life spans and many weaknesses. To waste our lives ignoring each others actual needs is cruel and unnecessary!
A capsule description of genuine Christianity, which pretty much disappeared from the face of the earth 2000 years ago... except in those rare instances where an individual here, another there, attempts to keep it alive through deeds. Not for nothing did Jesus ask, "When the Son of Man returns, will he actually find the faith alive on the earth?" (willyloman paraphrased edition, 2004)
Millions of JW's give their time and energies and even their lives chasing an imaginary idea around while ignoring their own flesh and blood, their families, their real friends and build no life at all.
JWs are among thousands of sects that have rushed in to fill this void. In their unique way, they've "sold" the idea that you don't really have to get involved with other humans and their endless problems, rather you can attach yourself in a highly personal way to the invisible man (and his highly visible organization!) and all your own problems will be solved. Meanwhile, you are personally absolved from all of life's most pressing responsibilities.
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toreador
I enjoyed your story immensely Terry. Very well written.
Tor
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myelaine
Good morning Terry.
In regard to the Bible being error free. The Bible is not error free. We were given "guidelines and updates" from a loving God because we need help, we are only human. I find the Bible very complex which is great for the scholarly types to dig into, but for myself it is the simplicity of the Gospel that I can understand and dig into. Like you said,"we need Help", collectively and individually.By focusing (acting) on Christ and the teachings in the Bible it is proven to help us collectively and individually. Now it can be said truthfully that harm has come to us collectively and individually in the name of God but at the same time we can say we werent acting on Christ, so much as acting on what we thought He said, at that point the Bible becomes less than helpful.
What Im trying to say is, any errors in the Bible are manmade. The common thread in the Bible is completely true - we heed help collectively and individually and God will help. He doesnt need our help.
I also would like to say that God has never spoken to me out loud. He does however convey messages to my heart. Im sure you will agree that messages can be conveyed without speaking a work out loud. I love, I hate, I have sorrow, I have joy. These are all emotional messages from out heart. God speaks to our heart because that is where we seem to "get the point" the best. The Bible tells me to be Christ-like, and how to be Christ-like. When God speaks to my heart He tells me to continue being Christ-like and He will continue to help me - and He always directs me back to His Word.
I believe that God did answer your prayers of so long ago and it was His will that you were separated from the Society. I also believe that He is not finished with you yet and my prayer is that His will would continue to be done in your life.
Thank you for speaking out about the Society. God can use your message to help many people. How Christ-like is that?
Michelle
p.s. My question wasnt about YOU doing God's will but God doing His will through you?
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wannaexit
Very moving experience. I needed your story today..
From time to time I get so depressed for having squandered all my youth in an organization that promised me the world and left me so empty.
It's good to know that there many out there with similar life stories .
I really appreciated your effort to write your story down. I enjoyed it much.
wannaexit
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Terry
Hi Michelle,
I don't know if I mentioned the fact I have 7 children! That has given me a bit of insight on what seems to communicate with them and what zips past them at the speed of light.
Kids like information to be simple and direct. The don't want to "read into" parents comments or figure out what you are "really" saying in subtext. They like their rules few and fair and quickly enforced when injustice breaks out. Kids want limits but, don't want them arbitrary or bendable.
I say all the above to provide a context for why I, in turn, have a kind of presupposition about how a heavenly parent might effectively communicate. I say "effective" because something has to work to be useful.
If my kid is choking, for example, it won't be effective parenting to lecture him on chewing his food while he turns purple and passes out. Grabing him and physically assisting him in clearing his breathing passages might be better strategy. This is an analogy, of course, to represent my petulance with any kind of Father (heavenly or earthly) who watches while children choke (or starve or be sexually abused) and lifts not a finger. Shocking though it is to say I have given up on the idea that any such invisible guy in the sky could be "love" while idly observing millennia of human tragedies silently.
That is the burden of religion which sells us on the "father" notion; making such passive acceptance of our plight seem "just" or "loving" or, well, parentally responsible. The best anybody has come up with is a strange apology. It goes like this: God allows suffering so that.....blah blah blah. And whatever the phrase is that explains the blah blah blah part the bottom line is dying and suffering children start piling up while god accomplishes his "purpose".
Whether God's passive acceptance (until, of course, He makes it all okay again) is still cruelty or not is not much of a debate. I present you with the Munchausen by Proxy syndrome. Ever hear about it? It is an astonishing form of child abuse whereby usually a parent will make a child sick so they can rescue them and gain the benefit of appearing heroic. Is that sick or what? I don't think it is less sick if God does it. But, that is just me.
That is why I choose not to believe that whatever or whoever "god' is has anything at all to do with being a father or parent at all. I choose to believe that such a notion is warm and fuzzy and comforting but completely refuted by the facts of life. I, instead, regard god as a kind of cosmic Johnny Appleseed who enable life (somehow) and moved away leaving us to our own resources.
At least this hit and run creator was, at worst, an anonymous doner and not a caretaker who schemes to vindicate injustice after a few thousand years of suffering and senseless deaths.
But, nobody is under any obligation to think like I do. That's just my way of keeping it as sane as I can. I further don't think prayer is anything other than "talking to one's self". If talking to myself is prayer, then I must be the source of god! That is feasible, but, rather dingy. People seem to have the ability to believe whatever they darned well desire. More power to them.
I've simply developed a taste for some internal consistency in my ludicrous brain scenarios. The more certain, sure, convinced and "happy" other people are with their own beliefs the more I recoil in skepticism and caution. Once burned; twice cautious.
But, don't let my priggish bluntness upset you. I don't direct any ill will toward the beauty and gentleness of your offered thoughts to myself. I've got splinters and not spikes.
I think you sound like a marvellous person with a great attitude.
Terry