by frenchbabyface 26 Replies latest jw friends
Ok since my Son is gone ... I do think about it and said ok to a guy who is in emergency ... (for 2 months)
We already had people staying here with us, but I've never been alone. Now I'm gonna make a trial but I want to know how I can bear it ... did you try and what was the troubles you had to face ...
FBF,
I tried it and didn't like it. It was an "emergency" situation too.
The guy immediately tried to take over. He also acted like he thought that I should clean up after him. He didn't want to share the cost of utilities. He also kept downloading porn and pictures of Hitler on MY computer. He didn't have one of his own.
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/15/54492/1.ashx
He also brought guns into the house. When he missed work and couldn't pay his bills, he offered to clean my windows in trade except he never got around to doing more than 2 of them. When asked, several weeks later why he hadn't done them yet, he responded that he didn't feel like it. However, he did feel like downloading more porn. It was a scandal.
When I got onto him about not fulfilling his promises, he chased me to my bedroom to continue yelling at me. I slammed the door and locked it. He tried to come in and when he couldn't, he stood outside my door and yelled some more. I cranked up the stereo to drown it out. When he got back home that evening, he had a note from me asking him to vacate the premises. He did--thank God. I didn't need a grown man in my house acting like a surly teenager.
All he did was eat my food, breath my air and take up a lot of space. He also left hair all over my bathroom. When he left, he tried to leave a 2 litre bottle that he had used to pee in because he was too lazy to get up in the middle of the night and walk 3 steps to the bathroom. I tossed the bottle to him while he was getting into his married girlfriend's car to leave.
I would never have a man for a roommate again. I wish you better luck than I had.
Robyn
He also kept downloading porn and pictures of Hitler on MY computer
Jesus, Robyn! The guy sounds like a freak! I've had many roommates and with two exceptions, they were all very cool people. My current roommate is a grad student in mechanical engineering. Really nice guy. I wouldn't write off all men just because of one loser.
I hope your roommate experience is a good one, FrenchBabyFace!
SNG
Wow Robdar, this is scary horrible type of guy ... Did you have a clue before or not ? ... I have to say that what I don't like is the emergency stuff ... I don't really have the choice now because I've made a promise. So ...
The only thing is that I know is that I've got good neigboorgs who will take care of him quick, and Anthony during the day is working on Paris. That is probably why I've took that risk. But you never know, I should not overestimate or underestimate my capacity to handle every kind of situation (better be aware). I will have to face it in time now anyway.
I'm happy that SNC can relate on good experience.
Thanks for your answers
I lived in a roommate situation for a while while I was getting on my feet financially after leaving my X and the B'org. It was a good and positive experience for me.
Pete and I went over some of the basics before I ever moved in so we knew each others boundaries from the beginning, but there were things that came up we didn't think of before and we worked them out as they occurred. Keeping the communication open with respect for each other is the best policy.
It also helped that Pete had a big enough house that I had my own bedroom/bath and use of common space ie; kitchen, laundry, yard, garage and parking. I also had my own locked entry to the house on my side of the house into my room which was good so I didn't disturb him with my coming and goings, nor did his disturb me. We let each other know when we would be gone for any length of time also emergency numbers ect...
If I was to do it again I would make a list of all the things I would expect from him and what he could expect from you from paying utilities to who cleans what. Go over it with him and get his feed back also. If it is for a limited time (you said two months) get it in writing! Make sure he has a plan of how he will be out in two months if that is important to you.
It can be a good experience or as Robyn showed your worst nightmare. I hope it goes well for you and remember there is nothing wrong with just telling him you can't do it.
Kate
Biker :
Keeping the communication open with respect for each other is the best policy
yes it is the key anyway. I'm glad I didn't make any promise for more than 2 month (pffffffff) it is a real burden on my shoulder right now ! I'm just scared that it could make me very nervous to the point to be unfaire or lets say cold.
Well I'm thinking about putting a lock on my bedroom door anyway. Because a friend of mine, to who I've said that he might be a homosexual (whish would be perfect for me) my friend put a weird idea into my head, and I can't forget about it now, telling me that he might like to try my clothes and personnal stuff ... NOoooooooo ! cause he worked for "Haute couture" (fashion buisiness) with people who just love closes and who like to try everyonces stuffs. But still now I can't just forget about that.
If I was to do it again I would make a list of all the things I would expect from him and what he could expect from you from paying utilities to who cleans what
yeah I've typed a contract for basic stuffs in adding that further "clauses/obligations or changes" would be added if need (for him or me).
Make sure he has a plan of how he will be out in two months if that is important to you.
Yeah ... right.
I hope it goes well for you and remember there is nothing wrong with just telling him you can't do it.
I've been clear on that ... END is END to me ... I'm nice but there is a Limit. (but again till people didn't try they don't believe and that is when you have be hard ! (pfffffffff)
Thanks for your advices
LOL @ this:
Well I'm thinking about putting a lock on my bedroom door anyway. Because a friend of mine, to who I've said that he might be a homosexual (whish would be perfect for me) my friend put a weird idea into my head, and I can't forget about it now, telling me that he might like to try my clothes and personnal stuff
My roommate Pete was gay and I felt perfectly safe with him. I didn't however feel safe with some of the riff-raff he brought in at all hours of the morning (while I was sleeping away). Seems Pete had a side business going on which was eventually what made me get out of there, I began to question my safety.
Follow what your instincts are telling you and I'm sure you'll do fine and YES to the lock on the door!
Kate
Did you have a clue before or not ?
Nope, no clue at all. He and I knew each other about a year and I even attended church with him a few times. He presented himself as very conservative and in a way he was. He thought that everybody else should be conservative and that he should get by with what he wanted to do.
Rob
Jebus hon... you really know how to pick em.
I rented a room in a house full of people once for a few weeks.... that was a little strange...felt like an outsider and never had a lot of 'privacy'... to many eyes and ears ya know? Never felt my stuff was secure either... to many keys...
I don't think I could have a roomie... unless we got along well enough... well , hahah that's marriage?
Been my experience that the couple of (short term) buddys who bunked with me (years ago) would drink all my beer and run up my phone bill.... just not a good thing.
Hill (single and likes his space class)
well, I've had roommates ever since I've lived here. rent is so high you know.
I've only had two bad experiences. the only female roommate I had was on heroin. I had to ask her to leave but she refused and I ended up going to a lawyer and he made up a letter telling her to vacate. she finally left but took a lot of my stuff and didn't pay the last months rent that she lived out (she never made a security deposit) we went to small claims court and I got back the value of my things (since she sold them) and the rent. I was satisfied but I vowed to be more careful in screening my potential mates.
a second situation was not as bad but the guy was really rude and just downright stupid. he didn't know how to do anything on his own; he needed me to mother him. I straight out told him that he's on his own, that I'm not anyone's maid or mother. he just recently left, and he wanted to play slick and not return the keys to the apartment. it didn't enter into his bird brain that girls know how to change locks, so when he tried to get back in to do god-knows-what, he couldnt. worse yet, I knew that he had tried to get in. I called police and made a complaint against him for trespassing. they paid him a nice visit at his very conservative job. needless to say, I got my keys back.
good luck to you babyface. you've gotten good advice already, so I wont repeat whats been said. just sharing my stories.
oh and BTW all my roommates are gay males and they're a delight to live with!
