Do you have anger issues because of mistreatment by JW's?

by LyinEyes 37 Replies latest watchtower medical

  • frankiespeakin
    Do you have anger issues because of mistreatment by JW's?

    Once in a while, but less and less as time goes on. Sometimes when I read stuff here my anger flare against the WT,,but it is only for short time. I think the anger will never completely go away because I'm shunned by my close family, so there is alway fresh salt to throw on the wounds.

    I don't think repressing the anger is good, you just have to be honest with yourself and let time heal all the wounds. I would like to forget the WT ever existed maybe one day,,but not now too soon to just forget.

  • iiz2cool

    Every day I would like to beat a JW into a bloody pulp so that nothing remains of him but a red skid mark on the pavement.


  • cyber-sista

    Sweetp--I can tell that you are sweet from your name

    It hurts a lot to be branded as an evil satanic being just because you aren't in service to the Org any longer. It just seems all too unreal at times. It is very creepy too.

  • LoverOfTruth

    I'm way past the Anger stage as far as the JWs are concerned. Simon is absolutely right on...Anger will eat you up if you dwell on it.

  • LyinEyes

    I truly understand what you and Simon are talking about LoverofTruth, it is not healthy to dwell on the anger, resentment, and all the ways we can think of to get sweet revenge ( hehe ) on those that did us so wrong.

    I am just being honest about my present state of mind, the state I have been in , in the last two years since leaving the borg. I honestly don't see myself always being this angry as I am now. I know I will always feel as strongly about these issues, but I think in time I will be BETTER equiped to handle my frustration/anger.

    I am learning these new techniques of dealing with my anger and pain. I write my feelings down, I ALLOW myself to FEEL angry , just as long as I dont act foolishly on my feelings. Being a JW so long, repressing most of my human emotions, I really never learned how to be angry at anyone but myself. It is a whole new thing for me to sit back and allow myself to be mad at an organization, at people, of circumstances.

    Since it is new for me to allow myself to show how I truly feel, to let the anger out, it is also new to me to learn how to channel those feelings without destroying myself.

    I think putting my energies into positive , make a difference causes is a good step to at least make some good come out of so much crap. I am definately going to look into doing more in the way of support groups of those who have been abused.

  • FlyingHighNow

    Dee Dee,

    JWs nearly killed me and my precious little family. Tragedies still unfold due to them. They wore me out to the point that I just don't have the energy to be angry with them. I recover more each day. I save my energy for recovery.

    Maybe someday I will be rested enough to be angry. It took me until I was in my forties to realize and express anger with my parents and grandmother for their abuse of my siblings and me. So, the anger, it may come someday when I am strong enough for it. I suspect it will be some awesome force to be reckoned with if and when anger comes.


  • wednesday

    They say that depression is anger turned inward. I was so angry for so long and now it is depression, but anger is still there.. I personally would like to see several JWS i know rot in hell.I keep asking God"where is the justice toward the poor and sick? .actually, my experience has been like a death sentence, and i have gone through (and am still going through) all 4 stages of grieving. I hope one day to get to acceptance and move on with my life. B/c to stay this way only lets them win. It has effected my ability to work. Has anyone else ever felt like they were in front of a JC meeting while getting a annual review? or heaven forbid, your boss is unhappy with u and places u on "probation". It all feels so raw and scary.

  • Lostreality

    I get angry everytime my father tells me that I need to get back to meetings. I just cant tell him to f*** would help..but I need the rides sometimes.

  • Rabbit

    Hey Dede,

    Most people think I don't get mad about all the JW past, but, believe me, I do. It's just I tend to hold back, instead of 'choking 'em' for the stupid they do...I always picture beating them with a broom --- like you would shoo a biting dog away --- or put out a fire. I especially get got mad at my JW sisters, the way they treated me and my new wife before we got married (unscriptural divorce by a lying, goody-two shoes X wife) (un-even YOKEING, quit touching the UNCLEAN THING) !!!!!!!!

    One of my JW sisters was on the phone...SCREAMING at me saying how WRONG I was to be getting married, I should just remain CELIBATE the rest of my life -- like she would do ! My sweet wife to be, that you met in Dallas -- heard every word. I could see how it hurt her...

    I tried to tell my sis, how much in love and happy I was for the first time in 6 years, thru the solitude of JW enforced "rules" I was FORBIDDEN to re-marry, I lost my 3 kids to shunning...even tho I was not DA/DF.

    I had LOST everything. And there she was on the phone reading scripture & WTShit to me to tell me how I KNEW I was doing wrong and could die...when the "End" was so close now... I told her I tried suicide during those lonely years...would she rather have a live, happy brother who is in love again...with someone who loves me back...? OR A DEAD BROTHER--- WHOSE HEART HAD BEEN EATEN AWAY WITH THE GRIEF OF LOSS OF ALL JW FAMILY, FRIENDS AND CHILDREN ???

    She hung up on me. I was so furious I threw my Cell phone nearly thru the bounced back across the room --- and hit my bride -to-be square in the cheek and her eye, too. It hurt and she started crying...I was stunned...I had never harmed a woman in my whole life...when I got to her, she had a cut, just below her beautiful blue eyes. I felt horrible, I was crying and trying to comfort her. She was crying and comforting me be cause of the cruel Christian words she'd heard spoke of us. She kept saying -- "B-but, I'm Christian, too..." "No honey...not like they are...ahm' so sorry." She took it a lot better than I did...

    * * * *

    None that were JW's attended our marriage, not even my children, but...the people who were there ---LOVED US !

    Now after a couple of years tho', one of my oldest girls is my daughter again, she doesn't go to meetings, smokes and even has visited at our house a few times and I get to visit my grandsons. That's VICTORY 1 , My next ones maried -- won't have anything to do with the Dubs. That's Victory 2...the girls will eventually see me as a good father again -- once away from the MOM JW Cheerleader.

    Do I seem Getting real mad tho, just blows up on's not worth it. So I keep a low profile, let them know I'm here, I LOVE 'em and always will.

    I can't help thinking back as a JUB for 35 yrs, and spouting off the sameo slick "wisdom" to "weak ones" in our faith. Using my best soft, persuasive voice to "get-them-back-in-the-fold". the WAY we looked and smiled at them and held out our strong hands to show them the right way -- so THEY could be "good" like us !

    It makes me SO sick NOW, knowing I was doing the same and smugly believing it all, I was one of them, afterall.

    Now , finally my relatives will sometimes comment on how happy we seem to be and how healthy I look...or how much they like my wife. I tell 'em it's what the truth of love can do for a lonely man.

    Living happy, living well. living free, is the very best revenge. They'll see it -- they won't understand it, until their religion gets real close-up and personal with them.

    Sorry for my ramblin' DEDE gurl, I am drinkin' a wee bit ... but, ya'll get my message anyway I hope. lol

    Glad yer back !

  • BluesBrother

    Yes , i have issues.. I am angry at being misled, angry at myself for swallowing it all.. and wasting the best of my life

    I am comparatively lucky.. I have never encountered abuse or other trauma. It is just the awful waste that gets to me.. After all, when you have based your whole life pattern on the concept that one is living for eternity, then to wake up in your 50's and realise the reality - that God gives you 70 years, or so, only and most of it is gone.. Lets just say that is a hell of a comedown.

    There is a difference between destructive anger, of the kind that eats away at your soul, and what the WT used to call "Righteous indignation". we are right to be mad, mad as hell .. but balanced with the other joys of life so as not to let the borg still own us indirectly.. I sincerely hope that I never lose my 'indignation' for that would make me apathetic and I don't want that.

    Iz2cool ; It is not the individual dubs who are to blame - rather the institutional system that governs them. As Ray Franz says " We are the victims of victims"

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