Adultery, Forgiveness & Divorce-----WATCHTOWER STYLE

by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends

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  Lehaa

  I know of many many JWs that "live together" only because they are married to each other. These people almost hate each other, but would never leave their marriages and get an "unscriptural" divorce.

  Know that feeling, lived with mine for years before I gave him scriptural grounds for divorce. We did not hate each other but the marriage was over years ago.

  I know of wives that "forgave" their husbands "unknowingly". According to the Watchtower, if you have sex even once with an adulterous mate, you have automatically "forgiven" him......

  What do you mean by unknowingly, my husband and I slept together for months after I'd had an affair. But once he found out about the affair then he had grounds, if he slept with me after he found out then he would no longer have grounds.

  I reckon this is a load of crap, If you do want to repair a marriage that has gone through this sometimes sex is a part of the repair work. What if months after the partner decides that no they cant put the hurt behind them, their options are blown.

  I had a JW relative tell me that what goes on in a marriage bed is up to you, your partner and Jehovah, just don't tell the Edlers, and do what you deep down feel is right. I tend to agree with her.

  Ther are way too many cases of husband abusing their wives and using the threat of loneliness as a means of keeping their wives under their fists.

  It just sucks.
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  minimus

  I think many JW "relationships" exist because the persons involved never get the chance to reflect, think about, get deep----into their marriages. There's simply no time to do THAT! Too much stress on meetings, studying, service, etc.
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  Undaunted Danny

  Reflections on Marriage and Children After the CultLorna Goldberg, M.S.W.
  New Jersey Institute for Psychoanalysis http://www.freeminds.org/psych/goldberg.htm
  
  
  
  Note:The above helpful resource link is one topic of many from www.freeminds.org

  Thank you,Randy Watters a former Bethel overseer,has the # 1 most popular EX-JW static website in the world.

  'Help today is only a mouse-click away.' @ Free Minds, Inc. mega-site on the Watchtower
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  stillajwexelder

  I've known a PO who routinely beat the crap out of his kids. If they misbehaved at meetings, they'd get their hair pulled or their ear twisted by the mother. And that was all the congregation saw. But when they got home, it was 'let the beatings begin!'

  That is why some kids I know do not call meetings - meetings - but call them beatings
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  stillajwexelder

  What do you mean by unknowingly, my husband and I slept together for months after I'd had an affair. But once he found out about the affair then he had grounds, if he slept with me after he found out then he would no longer have grounds. I reckon this is a load of crap, If you do want to repair a marriage that has gone through this sometimes sex is a part of the repair work. What if months after the partner decides that no they cant put the hurt behind them, their options are blown.

  This is what caused me pain - found out my wife had committed adultery whilst we were studying. We (or rather she) wanted to repair the marriage after I had found out but by then we were baptized and "sometimes sex is a part of the repair work"

  Months later I struggled (and still do to this day even though years later) to put the hurt behind me - but by then it was too late -- so yes I think the WTBTS policy is very damaging
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  Undaunted Danny

  [Stillajwexelder>That is why some kids I know do not call meetings - meetings - but call them beatings ]

  Roger that mate, the phrase I coined years ago was,"meetings meant beatings"

  I got wacked also for relutance to do door to door WT sales to my schoolmates,who would then wack me in school come monday morning.

  What a wonderful disasterously dysfunctional JW family.

  Hey,it's the; Adams family values.
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  XQsThaiPoes

  Many Jws dont pick a mate carefully because they 1) think devoution to the org is a testament of character. 2) expect the new order to be here before the normal down hil arch of old age begins to destroy their relationship 3) expect the fear of dieing in armageddon will keep them inline.
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  donnye

  I know the initial posted question was some years ago, but you guys are breaking my heart!! All the nonsence and unhappiness you put up with because you accept from the elders what you can and cant do. Do some research into the WT volumes and tell them what Jah allows. He hates divorces but he doesn't hate divorcees...... A few years ago I knew in my heart that I was entitled to a scriptural divorce, even though I was the guilty party. I used Questions from Readers WT74 11/1 to prove to the presiding overseer that I had grounds for a scriptual divorce. The PO was not happy about it at all but he had to admit I was right. Even if he had denied my divorce was scriptural, I would have got a divorce anyway. You can't get disfellowshipped for that. I would have met someone else, courted discreetly, and got married - I don't know anyone who has been disfellowshipped for getting married when 'not free to marry'. But if I had been disfellowshipped, I would have reported the PO to Bethel - they don't put up with nonsence either.
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  Found Sheep

  I stayed for 13 with a "little man" I would have divorced 6 months into the marriage had it not been for being a JW. To be honest if i would have slept with him once prior i never would have married him!
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  Botzwana

  It affected me too...My first wife and I were having problems. We started living with a MAN room mate. After a month I moved out and back to Atlanta. She refused to leave. So I told the Elders that she is LIVING with another man. She stayed there a year with this guy but since we both rented from him they said it's not enough to get a scriptural divorce...