Adultery, Forgiveness & Divorce-----WATCHTOWER STYLE

by minimus 31 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  jwbot

  One of the biggest things that pisses me off about the religion. Their marriages, they have less divorce rate but are definitely unhappy. It IS a mans world in that religion, certainly a horrible philosophy to base a partnership on.

  A woman in my parents congregation who was a good friend of my mothers visited our congregation and ended up dating a local creep in the congregation. My mom is really intuitive and had a "bad feeling" about him (and she was not the only one) but was told to not voice her opinion. My father even felt very uncomfortable about it...he is feminist whether he wants to admit it or not... She ends up marrying him, and he forced a lot on her. She came over one night with a black and blue face. My father was not an elder at this point, and my parents were fine with her remaining safe at our home. Even though this "brother" was baptized my parents knew he was no good. She left and went back to him, other elders told her to "pray harder" "be in subjection" you know the whole bit....she is still with him and last time I saw her, she was not her strong, healthy self...she looked old, defeated, was not even allowed to have her infamous hair extensions (she was african american) or makeup... He had burned her hair in their stove. Truly depressing.
• 

  minimus

  Interesting experience, Brenda. I'm happy you are happy now.
• 

  minimus

  JWbot----"Pray harder"....uggggg.....They are somethin'!
• 

  Undaunted Danny

  A hallmark moment.

  Honest to God.This issue(of dum-dub marriage entrapment) was a chief component in my staying single(47 now) all my JW adult life. Especially for me,because i always teetered on a 'totalproctocolectomy'.( complete removal of the lower bowel,the colon ) When a Doctor test a man for an enlarged prostate he does a 'digital exam' with the ole latex glove to feel the prostate gland through the Bowel wall. What's this tell ya?That the prostate is right next to the bowel.During surgery the 'nerve plexus' surrounding the prostate was inadvertently severed. Soooo,that's why there was a 90% chance of my becoming Impotent. [I had to live with this dire strait since age 13 heavy s**t for a teenager to bear boy or girl] Anyhow the counsel was to 'Just hang in there because everything is only temporary'. If i was married to a sister and became impotent,how would i meet her needs? Moreover,how do i explain all of this on a date?Like I just did! Undaunted Danny has more to say:

  Jumped ship/bad relationship.? Whole lotta,rocky, rotten marriages and rotten kids.

  Just think of all the incompatible miss-matched marriage unions in the 'spiritual paradise',among the JW faithful.
  

  Marriages made for kingdom expediency.It doesn't matter that you are unattractive and I don't even like you,'cause in a year or so Jehovah is gonna make you beautiful in the paradise.Now! they are stuck.Once the knot is tied,you can't undo a JW marriage.No matter how bad it gets.( except under the most soul wrenching circumstance)

  Whole lotta rotten relationships,now they are stuck with each other.Relation-[shits] in the new world society, they must really suck.

  The following is my interview in the maine Times [ Q: Tell me about the situation with your mother.

  A: My parents were Jehovah's Witness missionaries, and when I was born (1957)they were reviled for having a baby because the end of the world was coming any day; the preaching work has to get priority. My father married my mother after he met her family when he was going door-to-door. She was 17, he was 27. She was worse than legally blind. They married and it was hell. He was a rotten husband. He was a psychopath because he was a Jehovah's Witness. I was a Jehovah's Witness, too. I was a good-looking boy. I had all these girls chasing me, but I had to suppress my sex drive because any day the end of the world's coming and I'm going to get delivered and I decided the thing to do was to live with my parents even though it sucked.... ]

  [Regarding;'forgiveness' and 'turning the other cheek' Jesus said:" DO NOT CAST YOUR PEARLS BEFORE SWINE AND DO NOT GIVE WHAT IS HOLY TO DOGS,LESS THEY TURN ABOUT AND RIP YOU OPEN".

  You can never 'forgive' a malicious unrepentant perpetrator,because they will just do you again as soon as you turn your back.That's just basic common sense,when the elders 'order' you do forgive the perp it's for their own political expediency.I have seen people in their,"good ole boy" clique get away with f**king murder.

  Edited: oh yea my abusive Elder dad was typical of MANY JW's he was:"an angel on the street devil at home"
• 

  kilroy2

  even if the crap about after long waiting on hova and the lout stoped beating her, how many relied on hova and are six feet under?

  They dont tell you those statistics do they, hova never helped any one cauz he is only pretend, and pretend gods cant burn the cow now can they, if you cant help yourself you are in for lots of dissapointment, the best first thing to do, get the hell out of the cult, the sooner the better, you will find the guilt fades away and you come to hate what you once were,
• 

  minimus

  If YOU were told that YOU couldn't get a divorce, what would you have done about it??
• 

  Sassy

  hmmm.. do you really want me to tell you how I've been affected by the WTS and their damn policies on Divorce?

  Although I guess it is the reason I was set free because it was my stumbling block..

  FIRST CASE IN POINT...

  my first marriage.. said husband was abusive our entire marriage but I knew it was against the rules to divorce him w/o adultry at that time so I put up with it.... then he cheated on me and said husband admitted to me that he had had an affair.........however said husband told the elders that although she was his girlfriend they did not have sex.. AND even admitted when they worked out of town together, he would have the key to her motel room and many nights be in her room ALL night but said it was only to make sure she was breathing. Now first of all according to their rules, if two witnesses saw two unmarried adults entering a motel room together, they can be disfellowshipped and the innocent party released for a scriptural divorce. Because he admitted himself to being on a motel room with her but did not admit to sex, I was told that although I had received an legal divorce, I was not scripturally free at that time..

  AND TO TOP IT OFF.. even though he had cheated on me and admitted it to me, I was not allowed to tell anyone.. even though we were legally divorced, I was told since it was not scriptural in their view, I was still under his headship and could not speak out against him.

  SECOND CASE IN POINT..

  second marriage (yes I eventually got my scriptural divorce from the 1st one)........ I married a 'brother' from Africa. He was very good at deceiving me as to his real intentions for dating me. Instead of Love, all he wanted was a green card and after the wedding he became a whole different person. Verbally abusive to the point I was considering suicide, and legally I could have recieved an anullment (aside from the green card issue which is grounds as well), sexually the man could not perform (and since I was a good dub this go round... hadn't tested out the equipment).. so we could not even consumate the marriage. but nooooooooooooo the WTS does not recognize anullments... and since the man could never commit adultry, he would never give me scriptural freedom.......

  even though he was verbally abusive, telling me I deserved to be dead.. deserved to be beaten.. they forced me to take him back after I had kicked him out..

  and even though I was afraid to be with him.. they would not even talk to me unless he could be present..
• 

  Crooked Lumpy Vessel

  Wow Sassy....that just about sucks big doo doo.

  I hope you are doing ok now...please tell me you are.
• 

  dh

  sexually the man could not perform (and since I was a good dub this go round... hadn't tested out the equipment).. so we could not even consumate the marriage. but nooooooooooooo the WTS does not recognize anullments... and since the man could never commit adultry, he would never give me scriptural freedom.......

  now that is absolutely insane, how can people be considered to be married scripturally if they haven't/have never had sex... what madness.
• 

  Undaunted Danny

  My condolences Sassy for your hardships.
  
  
  My experiences are,'can't win for losing'.I stayed single and chaste,never fooled around and never broke a sweet sister's heart.

  All the dubs did is get jealous of my singledom and chasity.{He must be a candy-assed geek}