Adultery, Forgiveness & Divorce-----WATCHTOWER STYLE

minimus

I wonder how many have been affected by the Watchtower's interpretation of these things. I know of many many JWs that "live together" only because they are married to each other. These people almost hate each other, but would never leave their marriages and get an "unscriptural" divorce.....I know of wives that "forgave" their husbands "unknowingly". According to the Watchtower, if you have sex even once with an adulterous mate, you have automatically "forgiven" him......Of course, if you have gotten a divorce and YOU couldn't PROVE to the elders that the mate was guilty of "porneia", then YOU could not date and could not get remarried without the distinct possibility of getting disfellowshipped. If your husband regularly beat you up and you wanted to end the abuse by dissolving the marriage and start a new life with a good man----you can't do it!......How have you been affected by the Watchtower's policies on these matters??

ozziepost

Frankly I think all elders (and ex-elders) know of many instances.

Doubtfully Yours

Yesterday, at the meeting it was mentioned how a sister endured 9 years of emotional and physical abuse at the hands of her husband; aw, but she continued praying, displaying a good example and leaving things in 'Jehovah's hands'. Due to her endurance, courage and trust in Jehovah, her husband is now a faithful Jehovah's Witness.

I just rolled my eyes when I heard that. It goes on so much in that organization. It's sickening, really.

DY

JH

I remained single, and that solved alot of problems.

Crooked Lumpy Vessel

Lucky for me...I was going through a divorce when I first came in contact with JWs. And at that time there was no way on Earth I was going to return to that hell hole. I have read of a few experiences discussed in the CoC book that I thought were just awful. Hey, its a man's world.

Now, as years went by and I discovered my new future hubby, the sisters in my cong. were so against it. They treated me awful because they felt that since he was not a JW he wold drag me away from the mother ship. I did not listen to them and married him within 8 months of our courtship. Since I was not baptized yet, they could not disfellowship me.

Here we are celebrating our 14th wedding aniversary this year. We have had our little problems, but I wouldn't trade him for my first hubby...not even for a million bucks. Never in a milion years.

ozziepost

Well, CLV, that was a good outcome! And I hope the sisters were also correct and you left the "mother ship"?

Ozzie

minimus

Doubtfully yours, The Society loves giving these statements suggesting that if a wife "endures" the beatings, it may mean a united family in the long run...S I C K .

Doubtfully Yours

S I C K indeed!

DY

Scully

What makes that mentality even more disgusting, is when a JW lady is beaten by her JW husband, that the elders often feel justified in telling the Sister? that it she is somehow at fault. That if she was more In Subjection? to her husband or doing more in service that he wouldn't be beating her.

I've known a PO who routinely beat the crap out of his kids. If they misbehaved at meetings, they'd get their hair pulled or their ear twisted by the mother. And that was all the congregation saw. But when they got home, it was 'let the beatings begin!'

This PO was also the head of the Regional Building Committee for many years. He even entered his adult daughter's apartment in the basement of his house and beat her teenaged son (his grandson) for no reason whatsoever. When the daughter confronted him about it, this "loving" and "kind" "Christian" Elder? evicted them from the apartment. He was a rage-aholic.

The elders knew what he was like but none of them dared remove him as an elder. Finally he died about 2 years ago, and he got a huge Memorial Service at the local Assembly Hall Complex. When his wife died 3 weeks later, all she got was a small gathering at the KH.

Love, Scully

BrendaCloutier

In 1975, when I was 18, I married a good JW man. My parents had pulled me out of HS after 10th grade to go into the ministry, become a pioneer, go to bethel, or find a husband. I had enough education at that time to do any of these.

I moved to a new town when I got married (Vancouver, WA, across the river from Portland, OR) and to a new congregation. After my wedding, I found out I married into the wrong JW family. His father was an alcoholic and physical abuser of wife and kids. My husband inherited the alcoholism, and was taught to be an abuser.

I went to the elders in the congregation about his abuses, and I was told that I was not being a proper wife subjecting myself to my husbands punishments as he saw fit.

We both left the JW's after about 3 years of marriage, and I stuck with him for a total of 7 years. You see, I didn't believe in divorce except for adultry.

On my 25th birthday (Nov 1981) I played russian roulette with a 44 magnum. You know - one round, spin the cylinder and pull the trigger?

click

I looked at the barrell and pointed at my head again and

click

I pointed it at the ceiling and

BANG!

I'm hard of hearing in my right ear, but I'm alive. I shot the desire to live, and get a divorce, back into me!

I lost weight, found a lover, and used that as an emotional means to escape. After all, I no longer considered myself a JW, but I needed the adultry to break his emotional hold on me. We divorced in 1982.

I'v been married, and divorced, twice since. Seems like my picker is a bit busted. Today I'm with the love of my life. He and I've been living in sin for 5 years, and have a more commited relationship, (instead of needing to be commited) than I've ever had, with trust, love, respect.

Part of why I got married to #1, and repeated the relationships with abusers is that I was never allowed to use the word "NO". My parents were not abusive, but my father was happily in control, and my mom unhappily supportive.

Today, I not only can pronouce the word "no", but I use it, and reinforce it if I have to. I also choose people to be around that respect boundries, and respect "no".

Long, difficult, painful lessons, but today I can truly say I'm free and happy.

Blessings on your journey's.

Brenda

Adultery, Forgiveness & Divorce-----WATCHTOWER STYLE

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