Please tell me your story of.....

by Doubtfully Yours 25 Replies latest social relationships

  • Hapgood

    I told my hubby that I wasn't going to any more meetings over 2 years ago. It hurt him real bad, it came as a total shock to him, when he talked to the elders about my situation, he was in tears. Boy, was that hard for me to take, it really tore me up that I hurt him so bad, but there was no way that I could continue in good conscience to be a JW. I told him what I had learned, but he couldn't accept it. We don't talk about anything JW related now, I just keep my mouth shut, it's better that way.


  • shotgun


    Read Amazing story and Steven Hassan's book Releasing the may not help you bring family members out but it will certainly help you understand why they treat you the way they do or possibly may treat you after you make a split from the Org.

    It helps you know the correct way of talking with family and friends without closing the door to discussion and also from triggering the barriers which come up almost instantly when danger to god's visible organization is perceived or imagined.

    I hope things work out for you.

  • Lehaa
    I am very close indeed to that stage - do not know if my marriage will survive me telling her that I no longer believe it is the truth and do not want to attend meetings and definitely do not want to go door to door preaching what I know are lies

    Still an ex.

    I feel for you, It took me ages to get up the courage to tell my husband. I just did it really gradually.

    You never know, your wife may be relieved and feel the same way.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    Thanks to all for your replies.

    It's so tough when you love someone. However, my husband senses something is wrong because I think nothing of missing many meetings and service, and also don't seek association with members of the congregation.

    Once again, thanks. Communication with you all is a stronghold in my case.


  • fraidycat9

    I have never (nor do I think I will) made any announcements or declarations. However, I did tell my spouse that I would no longer be peddling books or any other written material from house to house, car to car, parking lot to parking lot, toilet to toilet etc. In other words, I will not be going out into "the field" anymore so don't expect me to go. We seem to have an unspoken agreement to just not talk about it. We do the unspoken dance of one getting ready for the meeting and one staying home. Kiss each other goodbye and wait for the return. No one asks for my "time" anymore. It is expected that I don't show up for any meetings. I did, however, make a "guest appearance" at the memorial this year. Although I'm still getting sideways glances and halting hellos from JW's I meet who don't really know my status, my disappearance is now more "the norm" than the exception. I'm liking this.

  • Mulan

    My husband was the first to learn the real truth and it almost broke our marriage. He very slowly shared things with me, and when I would go ballistic he would back off for a few months. Eventually I tried to prove him wrong, but succeeded in proving him right. I still balked but ultimately, after a weekend of little sleep, it all fell into place, and I didn't want to go back to the KH.

    He convinced me to keep going so we could do a slow fade, which we did. All of our children followed (actually Princess (Rachel) and her husband left before we did), and our daughter in law, who was the last holdout, finally left too.

    My mother, a cousin and an aunt are still avid JW's but the rest of the family are out.

  • RR

    Nah, my wife left with me. It took me a few years to get through to her. When we got married and she started attending the English (she grew up in the French) It was enough to make her pack her things.

    When we decided to leave, we lived with my inlaw and so my wife told her we were going to fade away. My mom-in-law turned into the hulk, SMASHING, THROWING, CURSING. She then threw us out the house. That was a long time ago.


  • Gadget
  • kls

    When i told my husband i wanted nothing to do with the cult he started to scream how satan had got a hold of me and how i was going to die in the Big End that was anyday. Then he went to the mindless elders and would tell them everything that i did ,even had my own kids spy and watch me and to report back to their dad. Our marriage defently got worse, constant fighting over jw crap. We are still married , i have been unbrain washed for over 20yrs and he is still stupid. It is so hard being married to someone that you love and know it is not the real person but a person being controlled by magazines and books.

    If i had not had small children at the time i ran from the cult i would have left my husband. Now the option is still open and we are on a wait and see bases.

  • Doubtfully Yours
    Doubtfully Yours

    My hubby is HEAVY into it. I think he'll never leave or weaken.


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