I can't do it anymore.

by Gadget 69 Replies latest jw friends

  • Gadget
    Gadget

    People who've been reading my posts will know I've been trying to get reinstated so I can get back together with my girlfriend/fiance. The more time goes on, the less I feel able to do that. All the things I hear from the platform, and the things that elders have said to me just reinforce the fact that I want nothing at all to do with this organisation anymore. I can't make myself pretend to get reinstated, I feel too strongly about it now. I've recently moved into my own house, so I don't have to worry about what presure I'll get off my parents so much now. I feel so much more liberated and less stressed since I moved out. The only is what do I now do about my girlfriend. She keeps on saying how much she misses me, and that she'll end up just turning up on my doorstep with all her stuff, but she's also said that she'd rather I slept with someone else rather than if I turned apostate. She wants us to run off and get married, but I think this would cause more problems. I read someones post this morning(Can't remember who it was and can't find it now) where they said of a couple who admited to sleeping together and had to go to a 24hr wedding chapel to get married. She was in tears, and they had a lot of problems and a very bad start to they're marraige. I don't want this to happen, and also I've been married and had a very very messy divorce. I was in a bad way for a long time, and I'm not going to jump straight back into that position again. So how do I tell her? I've been thinking with telling her I've been posting here, and giving a link to my profile page/topic history ect. If I told her what I realy thought of the witnesses I think she'd walk away, but at least that would give me a clean break to get on with my life, but I'd be worried about what effect it would have on her. What do you think?

    Paul

  • Simon
    Simon

    It's a tough situation to be in. - it may be you have to make a choice, take a chance and tell her how you feel about things.

    The risk is that you go ahead with the relationship and she doesn't want to change and wants to stay with the WTS which is going to lead to major tensions I would imagine ... certainly something a new marriage could well do without.

    Good luck whatever you decide to do.

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Gadget first of all congratulations on moving out of your parents house and getting on with YOUR LIFE! I know how good this feels, I remember making the same move myself not so long ago......it just gets better!

    As far as your girlfriend goes, hey this is the woman you've been swapping spit with eh? And you've talked of marriage, true? If you can't tell this same woman how you feel in your heart and believe me she deserves to know the truth about how you feel, then she isn't the one for you anyway. She isn't your true soulmate and life is too short to not live it with your soulmate. She should be the person who can taste the salt of your tears when you cry and vise versa, you should not want to hold anything back from her.

    If I told her what I realy thought of the witnesses I think she'd walk away, but at least that would give me a clean break to get on with my life, but I'd be worried about what effect it would have on her. What do you think?

    There is the answer to your question. She as you will feel hurt for a while, but you will both learn and grow from this experience. It's not the easy things in life that are our teachers but we learn most from our struggles and difficult times.

    I wish you the best in whatever your choice is but mostly I wish you happiness and peace.

    KateVisit Smiley Central!

  • frenchbabyface
    frenchbabyface
    biker said :
    She should be the person who can taste the salt of your tears when you cry and vise versa, you should not want to hold anything back from her.

    Try everything you can, and If it doesn't work. (You'll find THE ONE, one day)

  • blondie
    blondie

    Gadget,

    Sounds like she hasn't worked out her relationship with the organization. If she had she would have either cut you off completely or cut off the organization completely. But it sounds like you have made your decision.

    If the organization were another man in your relationship with her, would the decision be easier?

    Blondie

  • qwerty
    qwerty

    Gadget

    Just be honest with her.

    If you can not go through with trying to get reinstated,you have no choice.

    All the best wishes.............

    Qwerty

  • mouthy
    mouthy

    I believe honesty is the best policy---Please dont get married. I have SO many in our group who are in a divided marriage( One believes the WT one doesnt) It is pure hell....
    It will end in a seperation. Tell her the truth.... my 2 cents

  • Been there
    Been there

    Gadget,

    You have been honest with yourself. Now be honest with her. Sometimes a clean slate is the best answer. Freeing the way for true happiness on both sides. Best wishes in what ever you decide is best for you. To thyne own self be true.

  • ballistic
    ballistic

    All the best whatever you decide. I agree with what most people said. Sometimes it's difficult when you are in a situation to see the woods for the trees.

  • moonwillow
    moonwillow

    Gadget

    You need to be honest with yourself and your girlfriend. Tell her the same things you posted here and told us. Talk to her and if she walks away then it just wasn't meant to be and you find out now instead of after marriage and kids. Don't get married and have kids then find out it was nothing but a big mistake and won't work out it wouldn't be far to you, her or your kids. Looks like you took the first step you needed to take already and moved out on your own. I hope it all goes well for you.

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