Ramble Here, Just off Load Thoughts, Talk Bollocks:

by Celtic 40 Replies latest jw friends

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    Double Solitaire

    Lovingly The Albatross sodomizes Edmond Hoyle

    Cawing lonely cries of melody, vapid prick

    Takes him in his tepid talons to Cape wrapped in foil

    Becoming divine is easy, or sleasy, take your pick

    The ocean shudders for a moment, and then begins to boil

    Cut the cards, and cut them into the quick.

    Fingernails, hacksaw, adze, motor oil

    dull-eyed brunette girly mag chick.

    -Gita

    Cape Horn Memorial

    I am the Albatross that awaits you at the end of the world

    I am the forgotten soul of the sailors lost

    rounding Cape Horn from all the oceans of the world

    But they did not die in the fierce waves

    for today towards eternity, on my wings they soar

    in the last crevice of the Antarcic winds.

    -Sara Vial

    Monty Python's Flying Circus Episode Thirteen

    Man Albatross! Albatross! Albatross!

    A cutomer approaches him.

    Person Two choc-ices please.

    Man I haven't got choc-ices. I only got the albatross. Albatross!

    Person What flavour is it?

    Man It's a bird, innit? It's a bloody sea bird . .. it's not any bloody flavour. Albatross!

    Person Do you get wafers with it?

    Man Course you don't get bloody wafers with it. Albatross!

    Person How much is it?

    Man Ninepence.

    Person I'll have two please.

    Man Gannet on a stick.

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12

    My contibution:

    The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.

    lving fuses, deadly gasses, lasers, buzz saws and hungry sharks, all of which will give their captiv

    Women should not be allowed to drink in cocktail bars.

    same time.

    A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

    .

    You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.

    Whenever a man is with a woman he is usually thinking about sex.

    r if you are overweight, your mascara will run and your lipstick will smear.

    Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.

    One of a pair of identical twins is evil.

    mcnally confrere pintail bullfinch anther pleura fisticuff canyon caracas crane epiphysis depth constraint cornelia thrum briny fortress draft downing adsorption alluvial admix risen unital depute lanky transact calamity hayfield devise rote war billboard cell mien graphic floorboard what'd criteria bergland constantine harlem maybe lithograph hurley dragon flack dinnerware biotic dribble mute phil chancel ambuscade rube elisabeth spatlum infiltrate polytypy selwyn impalpable dang arrack blubber seminarian slowdown craftsperson chin in hardin confectionery gary deltoid

    eigenfunction vindictive rift animosity liaison bambi embroil began depose vend damon corpse errant bluebush consecrate intuitable contradict apocryphal applicate nap circular preferential diffractometer empiric frigid lookup bonanza cotoneaster amplify tuskegee belgrade ibm regalia corn sire woodyard lodowick ameslan diatribe edwardine adenosine intrusion magnesia lawgive bethlehem sail cynthia footstep exhort babysitting cotta bulwark lag abidjan tipple chantry consent suburbia decelerate prefect wilhelmina yonkers bite angelfish prank reminiscent prosecute cockatoo dutchmen angelo rap apply lena bleed amicable stimuli beat indirect mother davison flax misshapen consanguine transitory monkeyflower social aida countrymen postmaster fischbein midland butler frightful lineup mccoy enter hillel hrothgar obnoxious require sistine bassinet rudyard baleen mimeograph emission contradistinguish mcfadden honda october insurance congolese alpert highhanded potato encroach titanate cheerleader annum brisk heresy incapacity polariscope cytosine oviform giveth hard vend canton posthumous duplicate prosper anchorage demultiplex orthonormal bat biceps capillary armour stature algebra enlargeable fallow doorkeep deception taxpaying censorial faery nave marital contraceptive magma testimony tyrosine bemadden manzanita margery crappie silent roister amongst satiety geisha lank defect pyroxenite and hemolytic hester volterra swimsuit aphorism dinnertime auto naturopath cheesy ministry

    LOL thinking of bikerchic pouring through the last 2 paragraphs, with her hand poised over that [edit] key. Did you find it bikerchic?

  • Crazy151drinker
    Crazy151drinker

    Random CaddyShack Quotes

    Ty Webb:
    Danny Noonan:
    Ty Webb:

    Al Czervik: Oh, this is the worst-looking hat I ever saw. What, when you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though

    Carl Spackler: He's on his final hole. He's about 455 yards away, he's gonna hit about a 2 iron I think.

    Al Czervik: [to his Asian companion] I hear this place is restricted, Wang, so don't tell 'em you're Jewish, okay?

    This is good stuff. I got it from a Negro. You're probably high already and you don't even know it.

    Sandy: Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course
    Carl Spackler: Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key.
    Sandy: Not golfers, you great fool! Gophers, rodents!
    Carl Spackler: We can do that. We don't even need a reason.

    Carl: So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So, I tell them I'm a pro jock, and who do you think they give me? The Dalai Lama, himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald... striking. So, I'm on the first tee with him. I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one---big hitter, the Lama---long, into a ten-thousand foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? Gunga galunga... gunga, gunga-galunga. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say, "Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know." And he says, "Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consiousness." So I got that goin' for me, which is nice.

    Ty Webb: This your place, Carl?
    Carl Spackler: Yeah, whatta ya think?
    Ty Webb: It's really... awful.
    Carl Spackler: Well, I got a lot of stuff on order. You know... credit trouble.

    Greatest Pick up line of all time:

    Ty Webb: You're rather attractive for a beautiful girl with a great body.

  • Crazy151drinker
  • Crazy151drinker
  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41
    Celty diassociates Avishai, Fmz and Sunnygal41 from this thread.

    Well, all I can say is I'm in GREAT company!!!

  • Pinned Blouse
    Pinned Blouse

    Whats the frequency Kenneth?? Do fries go with that shake? Billie Jean is not my lover.

  • sunshineToo
    sunshineToo

    sigh....Ugh, I or rather the baby inside of me feels so heavy that he is going to come out any minute. But he still has to stay in there for another 2 months. I'm breathless and feeling sick a little. I'm also really tired. I've been posting in this board for a couple of years and still a master member. When am I going to be a Jedi? Some times I just don't have time to post. And some times I don't see any thread that I want to post.

  • sunshineToo
    sunshineToo

    [email protected] Those are funny!

  • stillajwexelder
    stillajwexelder

    a havcurrieddonkeybollockand fliedlicepleaseandchips- saltvinegaronyourchipspleasethreepoundfiftypenceplease

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