Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

jst2laws

At what stage of recovery are you? Are you angry? Are you depressed? Are you yet desperately looking for the 'only true religion' to replace what you have lost? Are you past these stages and have found happiness and contentment again? It is my hope that this thread will not to be a discussion of where you should be going and how you should get there. My intent is simply to discuss the various stages most people go through in deprogramming and the emotions that accompany this journey. The purpose of discussing this is to help those who are:

angry that you were duped for so many years fearful that you have wasted your life in a farce or that your family and friends will shun you if you are caught thinking feeling hopeless, now that everything you thought was true seems to be a shame promoted by other duped people desperate to re-establish certainty in your life, not realizing that the only thing certain in life is disillusionment and change.

to share your feelings. Then I hope those who have "been there, done that" can share their experience so as to assure you that what you are experiencing and feeling is normal.

Jst2laws

wannaexit

Are you angry? Are you depressed?

Yes to both those questions. For me I will get past these emotions only when i can make a complete break. But the good news is that I am less angry and get less depressed today than i did 2 years ago when my eyes first opened. I believe that you go through a mourning process first and that you need to feel these emotions before you can go with your life. So I allow myself these emotions. it's all part of a process . I also know that one day I will be able to put the watchtower experience behind me and I can close a very looooooooooong chapter of my life. What a glorious day that will be!!!!

jgnat

I feel the same as wannaexit. I don't see my feelings of anger and depression going away, either, until the WTBTS is far enough away not to hurt me any more. I must have resolution before recovery can begin.

jst2laws

Wannaexit,

I'm glad to hear you are "less angry". It IS a process and you DO have to go through the emotions. Since you are 'less' angry and depressed it appears you have not become stuck in one of the stages as some do.

I left two years ago but was not disfellowshipped for apostacy until February of last year. The anger and depression are far behind me. I was feeling good the other day when I realized I have been driving by the KH I attended and I am not even compelled to turn my head and look. That has got to mean SOMETHING!

I also know that one day I will be able to put the watchtower experience behind me and I can close a very looooooooooong chapter of my life.

Yeah, about 36 years for me.

Jst2laws

Mulan

angry that you were duped for so many years

That was me for a long, long time. Occasionally that feeling comes back and I have to talk myself through the anger again.

Time was what it took, and reading other views of life, philosphies, histories, and really considering that there might be something valid there.

FlyingHighNow

I'm not angry. I'm know I am not going to search for truth anymore. Absolutely any religion could dupe you.

The only truth I know is that we cannot say for sure what the truth is. I mean who can? No one can. Hopefully we are going to find out when we die. But who knows, maybe we aren't meant to know until after many lifetimes.

I am not upset that I don't know the truth anymore. It isn't necessary for me to know the truth to be happy.

Love and giving back at least as much as you take from people and the world are what matters. Try to hurt as few people as you can. Live and love kindly and wisely.

This is the stage I'm at I suppose.

Flyin'

jst2laws

Jgnat,

I must have resolution before recovery can begin.

Ordinarily I suggest people not wait on "resolution". It is the sort of 'striving after the wind' that can cause the average exiting JW to get stuck in one of the exit stages.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/59766/1.ashx

But your circumstances are unique. I doubt anyone will get "resolution" from the WT but perhaps your resolution can come from a more immediate source of pain.

Whatever the case I hope you find your resolution. If not I hope you find a way to move on without it.

Jst2laws

jgnat

I agree, jst2. The immediate painful circumstance must be dealt with. If I have to, I will walk away from it. We are all ultimately responsible for what kind of life we lead. That is the only way to stop being a victim.

jst2laws

Mulan,

That was me for a long, long time. Occasionally that feeling comes back and I have to talk myself through the anger again.

Yes, that happens to me too. The infrequent shunning at a grocery store, or the notion to call a relative but then reality reminds me that they do not approve of me anymore. Like dealing with death of a friend or relative, it gets better with time. But you know that better than I do.

BTW, we are coming, will see you guys in a few weeks

Hello FlyingHighNow

Love and giving back at least as much as you take from people and the world are what matters. Try to hurt as few people as you can. Live and love kindly and wisely.

Sounds more like the essence of the message of Jesus' than anything I learned from a religion.

Jst2laws

Englishman

Steve,

I think we all need to be careful that we don't write off our years as witnesses as being of no value.

ALL our experiences count as being part of what we are today. I think we have to own our past and not be too negative and angry for too long.

Englishman.

Newbies to screwbies, At what stag of recovery are you?

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