My Sister got married and I wasn't invited

by bluesapphire 32 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  cyber-sista

  Blue...

  I am so sorry you had to experience this. My baby sis is still in the Org and ignoring her apostate sister right now too and yes, it hurts. We can only hope that someday they awaken from their WT trance and we can have a relationship again one day. You showed her by being at the wedding that you are practicing unconditional love and are the more forgiving one--maybe she will see that one day too. It's OK to cry Blue, but be brave too and focus on the healthy part of your family.

  Take good care

  cybs
• 

  Mary

  Good god, what a nightmare! I don't understand why your sister didn't invite you to her wedding........you're obviously not DF'd or DA'd, since other Dubs were talking to you there...........what's her problem???
• 

  bluesapphire

  Thank you for your replies. And yes, I believe my family was thoroughly innoculated agaisnt ever joining from 7 month old Eli to 62 year old dad to cousins and aunts and uncles all over the US, Europe and Central America. Everyone who hears about this is disgusted.

  One interesting thing that happened was my mom called at about 9:00 o'clock and was all happy saying, "XXX, you can be here.... I just talked to an elder and he said that you could come!"

  So some elder actually lied to my mom. He and another sister told my mom, "Nobody is keeping her away from here. She is keeping herself away. She could be here IF SHE WANTED TO BE HERE."

  My mom didn't understand the hidden meaning and thought they were giving me permission to go. I told my mom, "What they are saying is that I am keeping myself away by leaving the organization." So my mom got another fine truthful testimony!

  They cannot own up to the heartlessness and disgusting behavior. So they have to lie even to themselves, but especially to outsiders. Because they know what a huge turn off their behavior is.
• 

  joelbear

  HUGS

  You did the right thing. Every time we show love to one of our JW family or friends we weaken the Watchtower just that little bit more.

  The org is evil.

  Joel
• 

  bluesapphire

  Mary, that is EXACTLY the situation. She shuns me on her own initiative. No elders have ever taken any action against me. But she says I have dissassociated myself by my actions. She is "running ahead of the organization!"

  Actually, she shuns me because I allowed my kids to get baptised and make their first communion. That's the bottom line and when the shunning began. But my girls were never baptised JWs. Still, she feels I am stumbling my family.

  But to take it to this extreme is hateful. Funny thing is she told my mom and dad, "I'm glad she's coming to the ceremony." How pathetic is that!

  She is actually punishing herself. No one can look at family photographs and not be reminded of the pain that they caused to another family member. Especially to me. I was like her second mother. When I saw the older lady who was her maid of honor, I knew she knew it was MY place to be there.

  So she actually punished her own self and THAT is why I went. To lessen the pain she will feel in the future when she realises what she did.
• 

  Double Edge

  And I thought, this is a gift I am giving her.

  You thought right - you did give her a gift (even if she doesn't realize it now)! Congrats for having the grit to go. This is all going to make a full circle someday and she's going to own up to you that she was wrong in her thinking and glad that you were there. You did the "big sister" thing and stepped-up-to-the-plate by being decisive.... bravo for you.
• 

  Mary

  Actually, she shuns me because I allowed my kids to get baptised and make their first communion. That's the bottom line and when the shunning began. But my girls were never baptised JWs.

  OK, so your kids are now Catholic, is that correct? Yep, to a Witness, that's probably the worse religion you can convert to.....hell you'd get a better response if you converted to Judaism.

  If you really want to make her feel bad, send her a wedding present along with a card wishing her all the best in her new married life..........

  God I hate it when these self-righteous people deliberately shun family who aren't even DF'd or DA'd.........do they think they're scoring brownie points with Jehovah for doing so????
• 

  bluesapphire

  do they think they're scoring brownie points with Jehovah for doing so????

  LOL!

  That's a good way to put it. I'll have to tell someone in my family to ask her that question, especially since they wondered why other JWs talked to me and hugged me.

  I wont send her a gift. I WAS the gift. And someone else had it worse, their own child didn't invite them to their wedding. I'm glad to say that my kids becoming catholic that will NEVER happen to me!
• 

  Eyebrow2

  good for you!

  I am glad you went, because you obviously would have felt guilty for not asking to go, even though you were not invited.

  I am sorry your sister cannot see through the jw cloud to see straight. It saddens me, and even when I was a witness nazi I would have spoken to you at the wedding.

  You did the right thing...I am sorry she hurt you. Kudos for those that did greet you, and for your sister in law who sat back with you. That was not just thoughtful, but also courageous.

  This will sting for a while, but it will get better with time. Who knows, even if your sister never leaves the KH...maybe someday she will be mature enough to realize that she was wrong, and will pursue a relationship with you.
• 

  Ailla

  You are a wonderful sister and kind decent person. I hope someday your sisiter comes to know this about you.