When It Rains, It Pours.......

Sentinel

Just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-JW family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall. They will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up. This is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

For months the family was on a rolley-coaster of emotion, with her former operation date set for last December. Then at the last minute she declined to have her valve replaced and the by-pass surgery she desperately needs. She would of course decline blood, and her doctor at the time said a blood count of only "12" made it way too risky for him to proceed. Still, it was her decision.

Now, it seems, she may be having the surgery the same time my husband is having his. They are giving her daily iron shots, whereas before, they were giving her a shot every two weeks. Word is, although she is not presently in the hospital, she is at a critical stage. She is extremely weak and will die soon without the surgery. She gave up her apartment a couple months ago, and moved in with her JW sister. I knew she was growing very weak, since they had to stop the iron shots she was getting because her surgery in December was canceled.

I just never expected to have to deal with this again. And, it hurts that she never called to let me know, even though this was a "medical issue", which always before, she has felt able to discuss with her children that are no longer JW's.

Ahhh, when it rains, it pours. I have no control over any of this. When I called my loving Aunt Elsie yesterday, she is the one who inadvertantly told me. (She had been given the news by another Aunt) She felt so bad for me that I didn't already know just how critical everything is with my mother,etc......my dear and only remaining parent, who will be 80 on the last day of July, if she lives to see it.

...I ache to just put my arms around her. I have only those memories of good times, of laughter and joy, mostly from childhood, and being with her, and near her, feeling her arms about me, and listening to her read my favorite stories, and long walks on country roads that weren't paved, and covered with honeysuckle. Life was so much simplar for all of us then.

/<

jgnat

Speaking from experience, do what you can to go visit your mom now. I have this feeling...

Sentinel

Oh, Jgnat,

If only it were that simple. But my mom lives over 1,000 miles away. My husband begins his pre-op tests this Friday, and surgery is Monday. His operation is very serious, and I could not leave him to go and be with someone who would no doubt reject me and cause me grave emotional upset. My first concern is my husband.

I too, have this feeling in my heart..but, I suppose I will have to find the strength and stamina to "let go". This is the way she wants things to be. My heart would never allow me to be so calous to my child, but she seems to have no problem ever, treating her children the way she does. And she calls this "love".

Perhaps this evening, I will just go ahead and gather up all the strength I can and try to reach her by phone. It will be very emotional, and I have not been too well myself lately. I will think on it and make my decision later in the day.

/<

jgnat

That is very tough, Sentinel. The next best thing is what you are doing,

I have only those memories of good times, of laughter and joy, mostly from childhood, and being with her, and near her, feeling her arms about me, and listening to her read my favorite stories, and long walks on country roads that weren't paved, and covered with honeysuckle. Life was so much simplar for all of us then.

Hang on to those.

Nosferatu

Wow, sorry to hear you going through so much. Hope you're taking care of yourself. The only words I can give you is a song lyric:

"Now the rain's pissing down and a storm is in sight, When the shit hits the fan you gotta stick to the fight."

xjw_b12

((((( Sentinel ))))) Put aside all the negativity. (not saying it's yours) It's your mom. Do what you can, even from a 1000 miles away.

Love David and Denise

Sassy

Oh Sentinel.. my heart goes out to you... The timing here just sucks! You need to be with your husband and yet your heart also needs to be with your mom.. With the distance and even with the JW stuff out of the picture it is difficult.. then throw in that extra baggage of hurt.. aaahh... I am so sorry.

Did she know that your husband was having surgery then too? Maybe she didnt' want to worry you and that was why you weren't told?? even so that still sucks.. we love our loved ones..

Tatiana

I ache to just put my arms around her

(((((Sentinel)))))...if I could only hug my sister and grandmother one more time. I know this feeling so well. I despise this religion for what it does to us. I wish the best for your mom and hope she pulls through.

CeriseRose

I don't have any words for you. Just *hugs*.

seeitallclearlynow

Sentinel, so sorry to hear this. My heart too goes out to you.

My mother did something similar a few years ago, refused life-saving surgery and without telling me a word, let my brother swoop down from Colorado and pick her up, lock, stock and barrel, and move her in with him, where a few months later, she died ultimately from refusal of a blood transfusion.

You can imagine all the emotions that went into play in that scenario.

I'm over it now but your situation is much weightier and I do so hope for the best. All my thoughts and good wishes are going your way.

Seeit

When It Rains, It Pours.......

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