If she had slept with a non-military guy then what - beat the crap out of him?
If it had been a non-military guy, then I wouldn't have seen the two of them together everyday as they went to and from his house...three doors down...on the Cul de Sac we lived on in military housing....nor would I have seen her and him when she came to visit him at the unit...remember...we're in the same unit.
Here's why he lost his son...about a week after I got home from the war I received a call from the housing office. I was being kicked out of housing for having an affair with another soldier's wife...and that she was sometimes spending the night...their conduct had been so public that many new people in the neighborhood thought she was his wife...and the two nights she stayed in her own home were reported to housing as her sleeping at her lover's house. After I explained the situation they called him in and said she (my ex) could not stay there for more than thirty days...after 31 days of her being there...he was ordered by his commander to move back into the barracks...with no provision for kids...his mom had to take custody of his 2 year old son...(he is a widower). He was reduced in rank and lost his car because he couldn't pay the payment...and with his car went all the childhood pictures of my kids up to that point...my ex had them stowed in his trunk.
On a personal note...(ok, this whole damned thing has been personal) one of the hardest things to deal with was my son calling me this other guys name).
Now you're beginning (I hope) to see why these laws exist...I maintained my calm...didn't beat the ex even when she was trying her best to get me to...didn't meet HIS challenge to a fight...and I let the Army work.
The reason he was kicked out was not...technically...adultery...but for disobeying a direct order. After he moved into the barracks he was put on restriction...the ex would go visit...they would go up to his room to play...against the rules don't ya know...
One night the ex was suppossed to watch the kids while I went out...I'd been out of the house no more than 15 minutes when I saw her walking to the barracks...she'd left the kids on their own...not the first time this had happened...she'd done it more than once when I was at the war. I confront her about it and she starts cursing at me and slapped me...I walked away...as I did she jumped on my back, locked her legs around my waist...her arms around my throat, and her teeth into the back of my neck (nice scar now)...I grab her by the hair and flipped her off of me overtop of my head...body slam...and went home...an hour later the MP's show up and I'm arrested for rape...held for five hours...and then released with an apology...when it came time to collect evidence of the suppossed rape she started changing her story...but the kids got to go through the trauma of seeing dad in a felony arrest and drug off....
All the while I'm trying to have her barred from coming on post....that case didn't work...when she broke my windshield out with a weight it didn't work...but when she broke a window in the house costing the army $30.00...they barred her from post.
When his first sergeant found out she was barred he put him on notice that if he was seen with her on post he'd be in trouble...the commander read him the riot act on it...that very night they found her in his wall locker...and that's why he was kicked out of the military.
The only thing I had to do was bring him to the attention of his command...he did the rest of it to himself...as did she.
Mind you I was NOT the perfect husband...I was a practicing alkie at the time...(now I'm out of practice)...and I did a few dirty tricks here and there...but mostly...I just let the system work.
