Terri,
I'm so sorry to hear it has gone this far. I would stress to the BOE that :
- you were and are contrite
- you apologized profusely to that person for that comment
- you have never been in trouble before
- that progressive discipline would be appropriate, and appreciated because you will never repeat the offense
As for number 4, unless there was racial, sexist, or discriminatory language used, it is common to discipline employees in this manner. If other employees receive progressive discipline, it is a subtle reminder to them that you should be accorded the same treatment.
Good luck to you.
Tammy