"it's not you, it's me ..."

by talesin 44 Replies latest jw friends

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    OOOOhh-the line. Yep, heard that before, from a "bad" guy I totally worshipped. I later found out that it really WAS him...he was boinking my cousin while I was out of town visiting my grandma. Then I specifically set out to find a nice guy, and thought I had. After we'd been together for four months, said nice guy asked me if he could have a threesome with me and said cousin!! So I started writing to Bad Boy, telling him how special our relationship had been, how no one would ever make me feel the way he did, ladaladalada. Sure enough, he came back to visit that summer and begged me to move out of state with him. Nice Guy got to find out what it felt like to have a little competition himself. It almost ended up in blows in my front yard, but my mother ordered them off the property and threatened to call the police. It was all pretty entertaining for me. Later, while Nice Guy was at work, I met Bad Boy and a group of friends, and we spent a pleasant day together (I requested the chaperones, lol). Bad Boy told me that he was living with a woman back home, but that things just "weren't working out" and he could move her out if I wanted to come back with him. I told him I'd think about it, then went home. Nice Guy asked me what I planned to do. I asked him if he would have a threesome with me and Bad Boy, seeing as he knew so well that one can love one person with all thier heart and lust after another, no harm done. Well, he didn't think that was such a good idea, with the shoe on the other foot and all. I saw Bad Boy later on that day when I was going to the grocery store. He demanded that I give him an answer right there in the parking lot. So I told him that after some serious thought, I'd decided not to go with him afterall. I told him that it would never work out, as we had both changed too much.

  • Cicatrix
    Cicatrix

    We are our own worst enemies. *shakes head, walks away contemplating the vagaries of human existence* t I so agree! Cicatrix

  • Maverick
    Maverick

    Cicatrix...when can I meet your cousin? Maverick

  • Xena
    Xena

    When it's over, it's over.....the way I see it, it's better to end it nicely then perhaps at least you can still stay friends.

    When someone leaves you it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you, you just aren't the right person for them perhaps...don't get me wrong I don't like getting dumped anymore than the next person, but usually in retrospect I am grateful....life is to short to waste it with the wrong people.

  • Tashawaa
    Tashawaa

    Been on both sides of the fence - and neither are easy.

    There's alot of mention of "nice guys finish last", or women only want a "bad boy". I've dated "nice" guys who in the end are only insecure. They need constant reassurance. This is a MAJOR TURN OFF. "Bad boys" tend to come off as secure, but often they are selfish.

    So, trying to find a guy with balance is the "tricky" part. Someone who is confident, not insecure, not self-centered but loves himself.

    Here's a question... doing the breakup - in person, over the phone or in writing????

  • Badger
    Badger

    Do you want to know why us "nice guys" are insecure?

    BECAUSE YOU MIND-F&$%S KEEP BREAKING UP WITH US FOR TREATING YOU RIGHT!!!!!

  • bikerchic
    bikerchic

    Cicatrix!

    LOL I think I saw that on Jerry Springer...........stranger than life.

    Kate

  • gitasatsangha
    gitasatsangha

    I used the "It's not you, it's me" line once, with an addition of "There's just some things in my life i have to work out before I can be good for you in a healthy relationship."

    Translation: I met an old friend of yours and she's hot. We went out last night and will be doing to again this weekend. I don't want margarita in my face, so I am getting out the plesant way.

    It wasn't strictly speaking, a lie.

  • Nosferatu
    Nosferatu

    Yeah, I've heard that line. I see it as the woman (or the man) trying not to hurt the other's feelings while breaking up with them. No matter how you try to ease up on the emotional hurt of the breakup, it's impossible to avoid.

  • Mac
    Mac

    In keeping with my belief that sincerety and honesty are the best way to approach this ....

    "No..it's most definitely you!!!"

    mac

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