Withdrawing community support in the congs
The love bombing stops when you are baptized,, oh yes, you are so happy to be in a car group,,, but if your single, a widow, a single parent, you may be helped by some, but that wears off as stress takes it tole on all. So now you are on your own... especially if your husband dies, your worldly parents are not in the picture anymore, as the truth is all in all and they now are part of the worldly ones who are destined to die at armageddon ...and the so called in the truth in laws do not see you as part of THEIR family anymore cause the husband died... your on your own.
Bottom line -- your on your own... do not expect anything and you won't be disappointed
Then you leave to go to a place you may not have been for years..the world... and you have to start all over again or be content to be alone.
Or you can go back to the family you left behind if it is not too late - unfortunately mine have passed
I noticed that in the years I was in, many widowed and widows, and others who had no family in the congregation suffered in silence. The support from just the listening ear so often needed was not there.
Of course, Elders themselves in common with many, have problems and issues and need support too, but that support could often come from mutual support of others. When I was in, and I was coming to terms with quite difficult situations, I found that immersing myself in helping and listening to others often served to help myself too.
In the thirty plus years I was in, I found that Elders, particularly ambitious ones, had little empathy or time for those who needed support. They failed to tend for all the flock, not just those who might be advantageous to their own ambition for recognition.
Such a shame.....
I've always been thinking that little things could help the Borg a lot, like, for example, a playground for the little ones...no little one wants to be listening for two hours behaving nice! Other things like, make the half week meeting a lot more familiar could help. Just to save the face they could say 'the paradise is already here, let's people inside be more like a family" Of course, merging congs is a terrible idea. Saves money but creates a business like experience. People think 'lets finish this and get out of here'.
mikeflood - You are right. I remember as a Pioneer telling people how "stupid" churches were for separating kids from adults during services. And being so prideful that "we" dont. (no idea why i would take pride in that).
Then I remember being on stage as an elder and doing parts like local needs where you "should really get into things" but you see all these little faces out there, and have to hold back.
Or when there are parts in the bible that NO kid should have to listen to or here explanations of.
FYI - I have come to realize there is NO family in JWs.
When you can be abandoned by what you thought were "friends sticking closer than a brother" abandons you for not having the same schedule anymore. The love is 1 layer of skin deep.
Literally - no one has any fact-based reason to think I did anything bad - in fact they should have reason to think I was STUMBLED (fortune gave me a good hand to play that one when I faded) - yet me and my family have been abandoned (LUCKY US!!!!)
So much for the 1 sheep - and the having love amongst themselves.
Of course the layer of “love” in the Witnesses is one layer of skin deep - and it can stop in an instant.
It was my observation that the only “love” that existed in the congregations was among extended families and maybe among a few older pioneers. It was nonexistent for anybody else, especially for a single woman who worked. I was always viewed as an outcast of sorts.
I think this may be shocking to other people in the religion who had a support network of friends - only to see themselves dropped like a hot potato if they either get divorced, question a doctrine or come to some conflict with an elder. But, for somebody like myself who never really had much of a support network of friends there, it was less shocking and made it easier to “fade” when the time was right.
I really think the gb are so terrified of apostates that they are shooting themselves in the foot when it comes to how they treat the flock
Too bad they don't aim higher.
LongHairGal - Bingo.
I can't believe that (without any real evidence or experience) I would pontificate on how OTHER churches have NO LOVE amongst themselves.
That the churches are full of selfish people who just want their ears tickled and don't care about the other people there.
WHAT BULLSHIT I was taught and spread.
purrpurr - "...the GB are so terrified of apostates..."
If that's true, maybe it's because the vast majority of us has long since gone past the-Rick Fearon-type conspiracy theorists and alternative-church-starters.
Those guys practically did the Org's job for them.
I found that Elders, particularly ambitious ones, had little empathy or time for those who needed support. They failed to tend for all the flock,
Those kind of Elders are only interested in hobnobbing with those who can help them climb further up the ladder.