Withdrawing community support in the congs

by purrpurr 65 Replies latest jw friends

  • ttdtt

    purrpurr - you are a 100% right!

    There are a number of reasons for this.

    1. The org has taken a drastic turn from Love to Judgment of its followers.

    I remember elders meetings where C.O.s would always remind elders that publishers are all trying to do the right thing, and have good motives, and should be given the benefit of the doubt and support.

    No More. Its all WARNINGS and DO THIS OR ELSE mentality. No love.

    2. Quality of instruction for Elders has dropped dramatically.

    Even if you look at the parts on meetings that would require an elder to think and to work at writing and speaking, they have been cut to just a handful a year. So even the opportunity to become well rounded, understanding, and a student of jesus love is almost all gone.

    3. Quality of Elders has dropped.

    Today so many elders have little or no education for starters. Peoples problems are complex and not fixable with a scripture. These men cant handle it.
    Also - and this is a big one - 99% of Elders DONT want to help people. Think about it, its hard to even listen to peoples big problems, let alone be someone who not only will really listen but can offer real help, past just a scripture. Elders don't want to spend the time and effort to help a publisher or family through a troubled time. THESE ARE JOBS FOR PEOPLE WHO WANT TO BE THERAPISTS AND COUNSELORS. They are not for Janitors and wannabe "spiritual leaders" like most of the elders today.

    4. Then you have the OVERALL FEAR and distrust that the WT breeds among all in the congregation. Everyone is trained to be Judgmental of each other, and with elders, that is amped up to a great degree.

    One reason its not is the fiction that Elders are just to busy. OMG the workload of an elder who is reasonably intelligent is VERY low. Preparing for meetings and parts is not a big deal anymore. Its 1/2 videos, and 1/2 Q&A. JWs are not a teaching org anymore, they are more like Madrassas.

    I could go on but this is it in a nutshell.

  • truth_b_known

    When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter: “Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?” He replied to him: “Yes, Lord, you know I have affection for you.” He said to him: “Feed my lambs.”+ 16 Again he said to him a second time: “Simon son of John, do you love me?” He replied: “Yes, Lord, you know I have affection for you.” He said to him: “Shepherd my little sheep.”+ 17 He said to him a third time: “Simon son of John, do you have affection for me?” Peter became grieved that he asked him the third time: “Do you have affection for me?” So he said to him: “Lord, you are aware of all things; you know that I have affection for you.” Jesus said to him: “Feed my little sheep.+ 18 Most truly I say to you, when you were younger, you used to clothe yourself and walk about where you wanted. But when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands and another man will clothe you and carry you where you do not wish.” 19 He said this to indicate by what sort of death he would glorify God. After he said this, he said to him: “Continue following me.”+ John 21:15-19 NWT

  • Whynot

    Personal experience, one of the first things I learned as a new witness many, many years ago is that you're on your own emotionally. It didn't really bother me until I got separated from my husband. People avoided me like I was diseased or something. The elders didn't talk to me until a month later. They also didn't care much for me even though I was going through the worst crisis of my life. Going to the meetings just made it worse. So much shaming. It was brutal and made me question everything. My so called friends who were pioneers married to elders avoided me.

    Elders in some congregations specifically tell married couples in trouble that they are not counselors nor therapists. Their focus is helping the "sheep" spiritually not emotionally.

    When I was going through my ordeal in my marriage the only advuce I got was pray, go to meetings, keep going in service and read the organization's literature on marriage and divorce. It was a joke!

  • steve2

    Oh, I recognize the theme of low- to no shepherding calls from way back.

    What's that old saying about lavishing love and interest on newly interested ones until you've hooked them (i.e., baptized) then drop 'em. Familiar decades ago, familiar today.

    On the other side, any slight whiff of "immorality" or apostasy, and the elders will be at your doorstep before you've "cleaned up".

    Gotta love an organization that's got its priorities right. Not.

  • Della Street
    Della Street

    I hear ya, LongHairGal. The social structure in the congregation is as follows:

    Elders (married)

    Elders (single)

    MS (married)

    MS (single)

    Elders wives

    MS wives

    Pioneer (couple)

    Pioneer (single, male: white, young, straight, able bodied)

    Wealthy (couple)

    Wealthy (single man)

    Men (white, young, straight, able bodied)

    Men (hispanic)

    Men (black)

    Men (old, white, etc)

    Pioneer (old, female)

    Pioneer (young, female)

    People with Disabilities

    People who appear gay

    Independent Single Women Who Work and Aren't Desperate

    Old People

    I told my mom, there is no place for someone like me in the congregation, so I am not going to go. She was so confused.... hahahahaha

  • LongHairGal


    Yes, aint it the truth! Your list is pretty much accurate...That is really how it is in idiot Witness world... In descending order: Independent Single Working Women who aren’t desperate are right above Old People who are last, LOL.

    They hate independent people they cannot control - especially a woman. I swear some of those idiots were jealous and begrudged me my self-esteem. I minded my own business and kept to myself but apparently some were bothered by ME.

    It’s good you told your mom that since there’s no place for you there, why should you go?

    I’m now retired and glad I resisted foolish advice and put-downs by certain JWs who passed away years ago.

  • Odrade

    Wow Della Street, you got that right! You forgot one though: Wife of Man who is not "reaching out."

  • days of future passed
    days of future passed

    Della s. You also forgot the baptized male aged 10 years being over his mom and most other females.

  • Alex Bogdanov
    Alex Bogdanov

    Della street. Yes, the organisation is strange with strong women. If I would be GB I would allow women to be elders etc. The majority of members are women anyway. But the organisation is only looking for DESPERATE people. I came to congregation to study the Bible, not to find friends and attention. So when elders asked me "Don't you care what we think about you? You might lose your friends in the congregation" I replied "I came here to study the Bible. I already have family and friends and I don't care what you think about me. Can you please answer my questions? And if you cant can you please stop forcing me to believe you" After this conversation elders left me alone. Because they can't pull any strings. Sometimes I still go to the meetings. Maybe once in three months to see some of the people I like, mainly old folk. When I go inside the elders go nuts. Especially when I talk to new ones. The new ones ask me "Oh, I never saw you. With whom do you study?" And I tell them "I was baptised 15 years ago and I go to the meetings four times a year, but not the memorial that one is to difficult" 😂😂

  • Xanthippe
    Elders in some congregations specifically tell married couples in trouble that they are not counselors nor therapists. Their focus is helping the "sheep" spiritually not emotionally. - Whynot

    Interesting Whynot, they're telling people they're not therapists now? They don't help the people spiritually though, you're not allowed to even ask questions about teachings without being labelled an apostate. So if they don't help people spiritually, emotionally or practically like a clergyman would, what is their function!

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