Not Being Invited To Gatherings.

by kennylazo1 35 Replies latest jw friends

  • truthseeker

    To follow up, when they did give me a "sympathy invite" to a "video evening" I felt alone sitting with "young ones" who ignored me at the hall and pretty much ignored me at social events.

  • zeb

    One cong had a pin bowling night. What with the sisters screaming behaviour and their micro skirts I left as soon as it started.

  • joe134cd

    I left for many reasons, and I guess if there had been more social interaction out side of the meetings it perhaps would of made knowing TTATT more bearable. I always felt it was a bit of an effort to get JW to do anything, apart from marking their magazine on a Saturday night. Once I felt excluded from social events ( or the lack there of) it made walking out the door a whole lot easier.

  • MrRoboto

    The best was when I was asked if my spouse was going to the sisters gathering later that day. That's the closest to an invite that she got. I bet that elder learned to keep his mouth shut about get togethers after that..

    Pretty sad n petty. Being pimo, I'm glad they leave us out of their nonsense gatherings these days but probably wears on her a bit.

  • LongHairGal


    I know it’s terrible to feel left out but Jehovah’s Witnesses are very clique-ish. I know this from first-hand experience.

    You could be left out for any number of reasons ranging from:..your perceived “spirituality”; who you are related to or friends with; whether you are born-in or came later; your appearance and dress; whether you are good-looking or not-good looking; whether you have an education or good job; also (as someone said) do you have anything they want (a service, skill or business). The list goes on. The Witnesses are shallow, judgmental users. And, these are their good points sad to say!

    I don’t miss any of this. All the above made it very easy for me when I began my “fade” from the religion.

  • Phoebe

    I've been in many congregations - both sides of the pond - and I don't think I've been in one that wasn't cliquey.

    I don't think I noticed it when the kids were small as I was too busy being a mum and it didn't bother me if we weren't included, but in my past (and present) congregation we were rarely included in things and more so when my husband and kids stopped going and it was just me. I couldn't get anyone to go out in service with me let alone get invited to anything!

    Two of the kids decided to go to university, so I would have been labelled bad association. Some sisters made it quite obvious I wasn't wanted.

    It felt very lonely at times. But like LongHairGal it made it easier to fade because no one was that bothered that I wasn't there.

    Sometimes congregations will revolve around a couple of big families and they will have their mates. If you are not part of the entourage, you won't get included.

  • ttdtt

    Sadly, after I had stepped down as an elder (for family and stress reasons - which I made public enough) - me and my family stopped getting any of the invitations we normally got, and worse, the young ones did not answer my daughters invites to "gatherings" we had at our house on a regular basis.

    Very hurtful, especially considering how many peoples lives I had helped as an elder. How many times I was there for them in bad times and good. 2 Decades of service as a thoughtful, loving shepherd proved to count for nothing.

    Love love love, all over the place.
    What a joke.
    More like Fear Fear Fear.

  • Londo111

    When I was your age, I was left out all the time. My teenage years were marked by social exclusion. When my JW peers did do something with me it was like they were doing me a favor or something.

  • ShirleyW

    I wasn't included in the activities that the young folks used to have, I know it bothered my mother, although she always sided with them telling me "well if you were more involved in da troof, yada yada yada" and all that, but some of the young sisters in the KH were going to see Anita Baker, My mother asked me, like it was my fault, " I don't why you're not going with them" like it's my fault !! I said of course I would like to go, but I realize now that I didn't play my cards right on this one, I should've said to her"I would like to go, can you mention to one of the sisters to get me a ticket as well?" I knew she would do something that crazy too. But now I realize if she did that and if they were able to get me a tkt that would've been one miserable night, a tag along that nobody wanted to be bothered with to begin with

  • dozy

    A couple of months after I faded, my family ( wife still attended) received an invitation to a going away party for a couple in the cong. I wasn't really wanting to go anyway and had kind of decided to give it a miss.

    The elders got to hear of the invitation and insisted to the host that my invitation was withdrawn.

    It kind of backfired as my wife and kids then felt out of principle they couldn't go and it was something of a last straw for her and shortly thereafter she stopped attending.

    It just illustrated the pettiness of these kind of social gatherings that I had seen over and over again over 30 years.

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