what do you prefer, love or good regular sex? (page 2)

wednesday

both is what u want, but if not possible, i choose love.

Sassy

Sorry if some took your words by offense DH. I am quite sure Your words were not meant as a slam..

Personally I couldn't be married and have a f**k buddy on the side.. I couldn't be with one guy and come home and smile to another.

Sex is important to me. When I am in a relationship I want it with him and it to be good as well.. and regular.. very very regular.I have a high libido..

But if for some reason I was married to someone and I wasn't getting all that I needed, I wouldn't go else where. Either I priortized and realize the rest balances it out to be worth staying (since after all a good relationship is more than sex) or if there wasn't........then I would get out. I wouldn't play him.

simplesally

"Playmates" never stay playmates.............one always wants more. I guess the only way I could consider the question is if I was married to someone who was married to me as a matter of convenience...........ie he was old and we both knew I was not going down...........um that road I mean.

stillajwexelder

When I was a younger man - I wanted good sex -- now I have matured a little I want love

FlyingHighNow

When I was a younger man - I wanted good sex -- now I have matured a little I want love

My respect just went up a notch for you, Stilla.

True love and good sex: the winning combination. If I had to choose though, I'd choose love.

I don't think women or men who truly love a spouse will step out on them for hot on-the-side-sex. One might kid oneself about being in love.Real love would make you choose fidelity. Real love requires a very big degree of unselfishness. If any of us have cheated then I'd say we weren't 100% in love with the cheated on person. When we put our needs above our spouse when it comes to sex, there is a lack of love to one degree or another going on somewhere.

It makes you think: maybe you should hold out for both? Otherwise you might be setting yourself up to oneday become a cheater. Why settle for less than love and good physical relations if the latter is of great importance to you.

Heather

Yerusalyim

Are you defining love as an emotion or a decision.

codeblue

As a married woman, I want it all!!! But I must say that love and fidelity goes hand and hand. The reason to be married is more than just physical. To be loved by the person you are married to is quite a "high".

Codeblue

flower

hmmmm.....If I met someone who was my best friend, soul mate, connected with me on many levels, made me feel good just being himself, gave me strength and brought out all of the best in me and i did all the same for him...then told me he was completely and irreversibly impotent just before he asked me to marry him....what would i do?

I'd probably say 'i do'. and then explore the many 'alternatives' to a traditional sex life. There's more than one way to skin a cat.

dh

When I was a younger man - I wanted good sex -- now I have matured a little I want love

i'm still pretty young but i agree with you, i haven't really loved anyone so i don't have much to compare it to, but i find casual sex with no real emotional attachment is more of a game or a routine than anything else, but not particularly fulfilling.

Are you defining love as an emotion or a decision.

Yeru, not sure what love, is, i was r eiterating what people have said to me, that they love their spouse, but cheat. my idea of love it is such that i would rather have the routine of casual sex and be single than settle with the wrong person and cheat on them. i guess as everyone has said, sex with the person you're in love with is ideal, but if not, though i can handle sex without love, love without sex would be a lot more difficult since the physical drive is there.

flower, your post was interesting, as a guy, if i wasn't fully functional i wouldn't want any woman to waste her feelings on me, and i would definitely struggle to be faithful in a relationship that had no sex.

flower

flower, your post was interesting, as a guy, if i wasn't fully functional i wouldn't want any woman to waste her feelings on me, and i would definitely struggle to be faithful in a relationship that had no sex

Like someone else said, why does it have to be one or the other. I may be wrong but I would think that with true love comes great sex. Sometimes it takes time, but I dont know how two people who have true love and a great relationship can not have a good sex life. Whatever the obstacle in the way of both people getting maximum pleasure can be worked out if both people are dedicated to trying. To me looking elsewhere for great sex just means someone is too lazy to put effort into making what they have great. Which makes one wonder if they are really in love with the person they are with in the first place.

what do you prefer, love or good regular sex?

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