what do you prefer, love or good regular sex?

by dh 24 Replies latest social relationships

  • dh
    dh

    i know some married women, and what disturbs me is that so many of them tell me that though they love thier husbands, they will go elsewhere for good sex. sure they are flirting, but they don't sleep around with just anyone, they just have a husband & a sex partner/partners. the women i am talking about range in age from being fairly young to 50+, so i wondered, is this normal or are the people i know just freaks?

    (edited after the first 10 posts to remove the word 'housewives' from the title and rephrase, as i think i shouldn't have directed the question so specifically)

  • Vivamus
    Vivamus

    Lol, how about love AND good sex from/with my 1 partner

    -

    Blue Bubblegum Girl

  • blondie
    blondie

    dh, why do you have to choose? Why not both from the same person?

    Blondie

  • dh
    dh

    nobody has to choose blondie, it was just a question. i known a few of women in this position, who have told me that though good sex with the person you're married to is the ideal, (which in my mind is the only way it should be) it's not something that ever happened for them, being married to someone you don't connect with in the bedroom can be for any number of reasons, status, social & financial, and as you will see from a lot of my posts, i find it interesting to see what choices people will make about things.

    some people would choose one or the other, some people would reject both if it's from different people, for myself in that position i would struggle to be married to someone if the sex would no good and struggle to keep sleeping with someone if there wasn't any love, i would also struggle to be married to one person and sleep with another. but it happens every day so i thought i'd make a topic of it.

  • Sunnygal41
    Sunnygal41

    Housewives??? I can't believe you would use such an "old fasioned" term.................and, I certainly have never, in my 46 years on this earth ever fit that description, even tho I was married for 20 of those 46 years.......my paycheck was a very important part of "our" household.................

    I was faithful to my guy for the twenty plus years we knew each other and were involved.........did I struggle during those married years with being attracted to other men? Yes.........on a very few occasions I did...................but, it never went beyond my mental/emotional struggle.............then during the last two years of married life, I became involved in a situation with a coworker where I threw all my moral and spiritual beliefs to the winds and went with my heart and my gut...............and it became an actual physical situation...........turns out he was in a very similar time in his life, married for a long time, never had sex with anyone else but her all those years............feeling very dissatisfied with life in general............label it mid-life crisis if it fits............bottom line..........when the smoke cleared.........I had struck out on a brand new life of my own, he opted to stay with his wife..........and we were both grateful for having met, and connected.........because we both grew from the experience...............does any of that make sense or resonate?

  • neverthere
    neverthere

    OK, I am a housewife and I am very lucky, I get love and good sex from my husband, I don't look elsewhere, I have it all (evil laugh follows!)

    Diana

  • xjw_b12
    xjw_b12
    Housewives???

    Sunnygirl. I thought the same as you, and I'm a guy. Working housewives is a more likely scenario.

    love or good regular sex?

    I thought the two went hand in hand?

  • Soledad
    Soledad

    of course it's an ideal to have both good sex and lots of love in a marriage, which is why I'm such a strong advocate for sex before marriage

    BTW women do cheat.

    http://abcnews.go.com/sections/GMA/Relationships/GMA030728CheatingWomen.html

  • Country_Woman
    Country_Woman

    I wanted both - if not possible with the same partner, then I choose love...

  • Sentinel
    Sentinel

    I suppose I'm a hopeless romantic, but if I had to make a choice, my preference would be love. I believe in commitment and fidelity in a loving relationship.

    Sex with love is a bit of heaven, whereas sex without love is simply an act to acquire an orgasm. Sex without love is empty and shallow.

    /<

Share this

Google+
Pinterest
Reddit