reminder of all that is hateful and wrong
and supply of faith that was not strong
you know me not, which suits you fine
opposed to every opinion of mine
stand in judgement with robes so clean
while on man's understanding you lean
I've renounced the very God you seek
your prayers all laden with hypocrisy
so justify this however you must
reducing my soul to mere dust
to shake from your feet while walking away
consign your minds to further decay
your faith is a rolling fascist machine
that wears white linen to hide the obscene
you mandate intolerance while promoting ignorance
close your eyes, hide your heads
the sand can conceal all that you dread
your entire faith is all but mistaken
and honor is given to the one you've forsaken
ã Aaron p. Hill 2003
Things I am sick of:
I am sick of justifying my existence to prying eyes and judegmental charlatans.
I am sick of acting like I don't know what's best for me.
I am sick of giving up on my life and the lives of everyone else and trusting that God will set it right.
I am sick of living in fear of Armageddon every single day. Joining in choruses singing the virtues of the day of judgment and how happy it will be while secretly fearing for my existence.
I am sick of being told not to lean on my own understanding.
I am sick of dismissing every other opinion that does not originate with 12 guys I've never met, don't know, never will meet, and think they are better than I am.
I am sick of asking elders what they think is right about what I choose to do behind the door of my own home. In my bedroom.
I am sick of all of the hate.
I am sick of marking talks, special needs talks, and all talks in general.
I am sick of droning simpletons speaking to me in monotone about the wisdom of the Bible. I am so sick of the lack of SICKNESS at this situation. Why isn't anyone else as upset as I am? Are they all just screaming inside their heads? Are they aware that they are being processed? Molded? Squeezed and manipulated? An elder asks you what you did, tell him? No, you don't have to tell them a damn thing. Walk away and remove yourself from the equation and this idiotic notion that they have any business in your life whatsoever. They are just people like you and me, no better. They are "in a position of responsibility; they've proven they can handle this position" Proven to WHO? "Oh, we prayed about it and therefore our decision is supported by God." OH, I didn't realize you've got God on speed dial. You're old pals. Forgive me. I am sick of being sick of all this shit. I am sick of feeling alone and having no family. I am sick of feeling like I brought all of this on myself. I am sick of all of these thoughts of all of these things that I have missed out on. I am sick of still telling myself to go easy on the Witnesses. I am sick of knowing that there are good people reduced to mediocrity in that damned religion. Sick of them thinking that I am something to be pitied, or hated, or feared. They have more to fear from the masters pulling their strings, little ragged puppets. I am sick of wishing they all could just open their eyes and see what's being done to them. I am sick of being given a Bible to read when what I need is HELP. I am sick of being told to pray, go to meetings, do things Jehovah's way and it will work out for you. I am sick of being a good for nothing slave in an organization that likes slaves, because they are easily controlled. I am sick of wondering why an organization would want to do this to people. I am sick of people taking advantage of people that don't know any better. I am sick of ignorant pissants strutting around under this JW banner thinking their s**t don't stink because the bible tells them they are righteous and I am "worse than a person without faith." I am sick of token service and pretentious, pompous, arrogant people EVERYWHERE. I am sick of Jehovah's Witnesses and all the things they do that bring nothing but heartache and misery, I hate the way they set things up to ruin lives if you question, wonder, THINK.