The bible says that the identifying mark of true followers of Christ is that they have love for one another. The Watchtower is so focused on the preaching work they fail to teach their followers this very basic principle. While there are some caring people like you in the organization, most are not because it just isn't talked about or encouraged.
Saddest thing about being DFd
by kairos 35 Replies latest jw friends
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cha ching
Kairos, my husband and I consider it our privilege to get to know you, you are truly a great guy, and we are so happy to start this friendship. It is the good ones that leave the Borg... Why? Because they DO have a heart, they DO have a conscience, and they DO care! Right?
Hopefully this Berlin wall of WT will start crumbling soon!
Hugs, cha ching & hubby
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dubstepped
I feel ya Kairos, as I was one to reach out and help others myself. However, unlike you, I never really got any association back. Sure, if someone wanted something done for them that was in my wheelhouse they could find my number, but the reality is that nobody really ever invited us to do anything. We tried and tried to fit in for years and never really made it. People liked us, and they would chat us up at the hall, but nobody ever really wanted to do anything with us outside of it.
I've literally asked for shepherding calls in the past and was told no. I never knew why. I've bought pizza thinking that people were coming to my house and sat there with pizza and not one soul to eat it with. My wife got involved in this bizarre hit and run charge (completely and almost laughably unfounded if it wasn't such a stressful event) and some at the hall knew what we were up against and that my wife was facing jail and a huge fine for something completely out of nowhere and not one person ever reached out to us, especially none of the supposed "shepherds". We would go to restaurants after meetings to find groups of people from the hall there. We were alone, and yes we would ask people to eat with us but it rarely happened.
At a point you know you aren't really wanted. Wanted when they need something? Sure. Wanted for just the awesome people we are? Nope. Almost never. All the while we turned down chance after chance to socialize with really nice "worldly" people that we worked for that went out of their way to invite us to things. JW's were total assholes to us, always quick to throw a "we need to get together" out there to our face, only to find the promises as hollow as the many previous end of the world predictions of the religion.
Peace Kairos. I wish you well and hope you enjoy people that truly do enjoy your company without the conditions that JW's put on everything, though in my opinion most all relationships are somewhat conditional. The dubs take that up several notches though. You have to be exactly like them to keep friends.
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dbq407
I wish every JW could experience being df'd. Might open their eyes to how crazy the religion actually is. -
stuckinarut2
Well said Flipper and Lisarose! -
FayeDunaway
If witnesses could count time 'showing love' then they might actually do it.
i used to enjoy helping witnesses in need, too. One I gave $300 to, didn't want anything back, just wanted to help her little unemployed family. She was very grateful, but was the first one to unfriend me on facebook when rumors about me leaving the religion started to go around. TRUE friendship, lol!
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kairos
The human experience really is something else!
I read the replies on our topics and it rings true to my own experiences.
I can't quite figure out the reason why anyone would want to be part of any group that practices shunning. Any ideas?
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punkofnice
Kairos - I can't quite figure out the reason why anyone would want to be part of any group that practices shunning. Any ideas?
Because they've been indoctrinated. They've bought into the delusion. they HAVE been brainwashed, put under strong mind control. Even the cleverest person can be duped by a con-person. Just look at the media, how it fools the masses with propaganda. Look at North Korean propaganda. Nazi propaganda. It's all down to being fooled by expert scammers. Add a big dose of fear into the mix and boom! DFing is the punishment for not shunning the shunned....it's a powerful crime against humanity but the WBT$ is getting away with this crime.
Minds = Brains - Cleansed = Washed
"Minds must be cleansed" (Watchtower, June 1, 1953, p. 350 par. 24). 24 In these closing days of wickedness Jehovah’s people must demonstrate holiness. They must not foul their minds with the filthy mental food on the propaganda tables of this old world, but must feed on the feast of fat things Jehovah provides. (Isa. 25:6; 28:8.) Minds must be cleansed and made over, mental circuits formed by old-world thinking and acting faded out and new ones put in according to new-world specifications. By privately studying regularly, by attending all meetings regularly, and by engaging in all features of the preaching work regularly mental circuits are deepened and such good activities become habitual, not at all the struggle they are when the mental circuits are weak and faint because used only occasionally. For ourselves and for others, make them strong!—1 Tim. 4:16.
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DesirousOfChange
One I gave $300 to, didn't want anything back, just wanted to help her little unemployed family. She was very grateful, but was the first one to unfriend me on facebook when rumors about me leaving the religion started to go around. TRUE friendship, lol!
She felt guilty for "owing" you money. Condemning you and unfriending you proves you are the kind of person that does not deserve to be repaid (even in friendship).
Doc
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chicken little
We had a family stay with us for many weeks when they had to sell their house for not paying taxes. Five extra people in our home and we cooked together, ate together and it was good to help out.
When we left the org the wife came by with two of the children one day when all my family had arrived just before christmas, I invited them in and gave coffee, cake, sweets etc and was very relaxed with her.
She left and told the elders we were celebrating christmas and the elders were going to call on us to check out what she had said. I do not regret helping them at the time they needed help but I was truly saddened by her actions.
I have another friend who is very depressed and has phoned in hysterics more than a couple of times. Each time I go and visit and sit with her to try to listen and calm her down, others in the hall I know do not bother with her as she is considered to much hard work. So I do understand your feelings, you are a genuine and kind person with no strings attached. I am sure your neighbours and friends you have now benefit from having you as a genuine friend.