Being publicly reproved

by Strawberryfieldsforever 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Pork Chop
    Pork Chop

    Reproof is only supposed to be for something you can be disfellowshipped for, that's what the books says.Sounds like some of these guys really don't have a clue about procedure.

  • garybuss

    SK wrote:

    Hey... GARYBUSS..... whose the cutie in your avatar...???

    That's my new assistant. He has only been on the job a little over 6 months but he is catching on fast. He should be running the shop in a few weeks. GaryB

  • simplesally

    Disfellowshipped and was there for the announcement. Kept going back for more punishment until I could stand it no more!

  • orangefatcat

    Maverick your right, there is no such thing a private reproof with out the whole congregation becoming some how privay to it.

    I was privately reproved and publicly reproved for the same thing a 1/2 week later.

    Yes those f******g bastards did that to me. I was accused of having had a drinking problem and at the company my ex husband worked for they have a company picnic annually. This particular picnic I had alot to drink, and I know that. However my accuser was an elder and his wife and two other JWs and they said I was drunk (I was feeling fine and had a little buzz), anyway the next thing I am told is the elders want to talk to me. I spoke with one elder first, the elder I liked as I had known him since I was 17yrs old. I told him I didn't have a drinking problem but my mom and dad insisted I did cuz I would visit my neighbours and have a few beers with them and this pissed my elder daddy off big time. We lived next door to each other. What a mistake that is in life when you have parents like mine. Another night I was running late for the meeting , so I decided not to go and went out to eat and have a couple of beers with dinner, well another elder and his family saw my go there while they were late for the meeting too and passed me going into the resturant, but more known as a bar and grill upper class sort of joint. They served excellent food and catered to the rich. So getting back to my fave elder he says he has been concerned because a few people mentioned they have seen me go into these places and then he spoke to me about the company picnic, and I told him I believe I was NOT intoxicated. Several months later this elder whom I like (Bob) and had spoken to me invited our family to his daughters wedding. Everyone from our KH was there and some people we didn't know. Well every table had a bottle of wine and it was shared by five or six persons. There was also a bar. I had a few drinks, Anyway further into that evening I was talking to a brother and his wife, they had been sitting alone so I thought I would chat, well their table had a little wine left in the bottle and so I said if no one wants the rest which was a little inthe bottle I had it. And jokingly I said oh, don't let my mom and dad see me do this or they will be upset. As they were right behind me and I thought they even heard me. I know it was a big issue with my dad and mom as dad was an alcholic (non drinking)at this time in his life. So its time to leave the wedding and this brother and sister offer me a ride to our KH so I could get my car and go home. So I said that s great, as mt ex husband went home earlier with another couple. On my way out I thanked the elder Bob and his daughter and another elder I spoke with and several others prior to my departure with this couple and their son in law and their daughter. I didn't know right off that the son in law was plastered until he spoke in the car and then the others started talking so he wouldn't speak. Well we get to the KH where my car is. I got into my wagon and was driving up the dark country road and only had one head light working on the car. It was cold and slippery on the road too, and as I was driving down this shitty road I kept close to the shoulder as that was that head light not working. So this couple and there kids are right behind me until they turn off to go to their home. A few nights later this brother show up at our home and he said he wanted to speak to me about something that was important but privately, I told him no way I don't speak to anyone privately with out my husband present . So he had started about the wedding and my drinking and he felt that I was drunk that evening because he and his family thought I was veering on the road, at that moment I told him you see my door? I have no desire to talk to you about this as I said I wasn't drunk and so you can now leave our home. Next thing its committee time, I am accused of drunkedness. One of the accuseres is the elder (Carl) who was at the company picnic and I turned to him and said how dare you sit there in that seat and tell me I was drunk when you yourself drank and was drunk as well. Total silence, you could hear a pin drop, and then my favourite elder says. Terry we are not here to talk about Carl but you. Anyways this other elder on the committee was a relative brother in law to the elder who was at the picnic and he said some mumbo jumbo and tried a little entrapment. Some family affair in this committee.. Well I was real mad and I let it be known that I was now very angry for this stupidity. I said I wasn't drunk, and then I was told I was seen drunk on two occasions So BOB my fave elder says I think we need to pray to Jehovah again. and so we did. Any way they told me they would like to speak to me again so the following wk I went to the committee meeting and guess who was present? Mommy and elder daddy dearest. They sat there while I was spoken to and was told that I was going to be privately reproved. Mommy says oh. " can we tell Terry's sister and family so that they know too". Grrrrrrrrr... I think at that moment I wanted to kill my mom.. And then when all was said and done I was told that I was going to be privately reproved. I was still fuming inside myself and said okay. I mean what else could I say, they were ready to disfellowship me. So I thought that at the meeting of reproof that just mom and dad were going to be present. Ha ha, A few nights later at the KH in the small Ministry school room of about 10 persons were present. Gee I was so damn mad I could have just said to hell with all of you cause your doing this because of my recovered reformed alcoholic daddy elder... And you know who else was there? Was that brother and his family I got a ride home from the wedding to get my car at the KH. And that other elder who drank and was drunk and a couple of others that were at the company picnic were also present. God I was pissing furious. But I couldn't do a damn thing. So the favourite elder Bob, gets up and says a few things and reads a couple of scriptures and tells that I am being reproved for conduct unbecoming of a Christian. So it was over or so I thought the next thing I hear Bob is calling me up and says they have decided among the elder body that I will be publicly reproved. I said what and he said yes. So I just say to him yes okay. The night of the announcement comes a half a wk later and its announced. I didn't go to the kingdom hall that night. I was just bloody mad, because they were out on a witch hunt and I was going to be embarrassed at all cost. I know My father was involved in it some how and someway. He didn't like me. I don't know why my dad didn't like me and never knew why even to his dying day I couldn't understand his feeling about me. I was always in hell with him and I didn't do anything that made him angry with me. Maybe cuz I was his first born and mom was just 15 that is all I figure.

    So what can I tell you by all of this? Well the witnesses are unkind, unchristian and in no way know the word mercy and sorry and still they had the audacity to reprove me really three times. I hated it and I would nt go to the meeting for a long time. I was saying I was sick.

    One whole yr goes by and I am still in this state and one day I get a call from a new elder in the hall and he says to me that he and another elder (ON the committee elder ) would like to come and see me and see how I was doing . I told him It was a bout friggin time as a yr had gone by and not one not one of those elders came to see me or ask me anything about anything. When they came we talked and they said they were giving me back my privileges . Ha ha, well I thanked them and they said I was humble and so I was now in good standing again. Well who the hell put me in a bad standing for gods sake. I just dispise with every part of my body the WTS and their LAWS RULES REGULATIONS and most of all their CREULTY. I now am so upset for typing this that I am actually pressing the keys like its their fault.

    Oh well at least I am out and thank God for that ... No more Suppression from them.


  • seedy3

    I was never publically reproved, I really don't recall ever being talked to by the elders except for when I started drifting away, they would show up and make it a point to invite me back to the meetings and the whole speal. They finally just DF'd me quite a few years later, after I had not even attended a meeting in over 4 years. But that I really think was on insistence of my then exwife so she could get remarried. My exwife however had been Publically reproved, DF'd 4 times, and privitly reproved many other times


  • dustyb

    private reproof?? BAH. my g/f was said to be on private reproof, but everyone knows about it pretty much, so that would make it....not private i guess. its a shitty thing to do, all about power. taking away "priviledges" doesn't amount up to much.

  • fearnotruth22

    Going out with wordly friend and even drinking too much is not enough to be publicly reproved. Maybe you did did something more serious. But whatever the case public reproof is a humiliating experience that one cannot recover from in relation to other jws and the pecking order, No one wwill take you seriously again.

  • Frannie Banannie
    Frannie Banannie

    Yes, in 1974. It totally crushed me and took 6 yrs recovery.

    Frannie B

  • potleg

    To this day I regret being on a committee that publicly reproved a young person. I disagreed with the other "brothers" but the majority won out. I should have been firmer in saying "this is wrong" but I didn't. It wrecked the individuals relationship with close friends and family. Shortly afterwards I resigned as an elder and left the organization. This of course wrecked my relationship with my family. FREE AT LAST. FREE AT LAST I THANK GOD I AM FREE AT LAST! Glad to be gone.

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