Being publicly reproved

by Strawberryfieldsforever 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • Strawberryfieldsforever

    Years ago my husband and I were publicly reproved. We had gone out with some "worldly friends" from work and went dancing and had a few drinks too many. Well someone must have been around to see us and told the elders. We were brought in and talked to and then they decided we needed to be publicly reproved. The day of the announcement meeting, I was sooo upset that I couldn't eat. At the meeting when they announced it, I started to cry. My husband was grinding his teeth. I could see his face all red. That was really hard to go through. It just opens up all kinds of possibilities for gossip among the friends. Did any of you ever get publicly reproved?

  • El blanko
    El blanko

    I knew of a servant in a congregation who should have been !

    Whilst dictating to others the rights and wrongs within their lives, he used to nip off after Friday meetings and knock back 2-3 cans of 9% beer and then one night vomited into a sisters sink. Leaving a mess everywhere. He was one of the most hypocritical worms I had the pleasure (?) to meet. He also managed to systematically undermine my own confidence in almost every social situation we would attend together. But I had to put on a broad Christian smile and just take it.

    If he assosiated with me now, he would find that my mind has hardened up in many areas.

    Such is life.

  • stillajwexelder

    Not personally -- but I have announced a few -- did not like doing -- and I look back now with shame

  • Sassy

    I was publicly reproved and yes I sat through the announcement. It wasn't easy and there were tears sliding down my face when it was announced. I had sat close to the wall to try to be less conspicuous. They really should have disfellowshipped me though. I had done things which were way off the charts for behavior. If it had been a Dfing accouncement, I couldn't have been there to hear it.. This was hard enough.

  • Special K
    Special K

    Did they tell you they were going to announce it that night.

    If it would have been me, and I knew... then I wouldn't have gone that night.

    Still.. it really hurts, I wasn't there when they announced my disfellowshipping. I have no idea when they announced it. .. we received our disfellowshipping by mail.

    I wonder it disfellowship ones by e-mail now?

    Sorry you had to go through that humiliating and hurtful thing.

    It reminds me of how some teachers humiliate a student in front of the whole class. I hate that!


    Special K

  • Sassy

    It definately is a humiliating experience. It is hard on everyone. Family members, etc.. I know of announcements where half the KH was in tears.. how can this be loving?

  • czarofmischief

    Yep. Been publicly reproved. It was actually kind of pleasant to get some attention. The congregation was very nice about it. But that was during the reign of certain elders who were actually very good at their jobs. All that changed...

    I was actually present for the DF announcement - yeesh, what a trip THAT was. Still, it was a useful expereince and taught me the strength of rebellion!


  • garybuss

    I thank the sleaze bags elders and the drunk elders and the abusive elders. They are the ones who pull back the curtain like the little dog Toto so we can see the Wizard and so we can see it's all a sham and a scam. Without them I might have stayed on some level and still been waiting for Armageddon so I didn't have to face or live life. This is better. Thanks elders! GaryB

  • stillajwexelder

    Humiliation is all about control -- and we all know the WTBTS are control freaks

  • willyloman

    The whole public/private reproof thing is widely misunderstood by most publishers, and some groups of elders apply the rule inconsistently. If they're going 'by the book,' the rule is simple: If you did it, they 'reprove' you, which really means to 'counsel' you but has a much harsher ring to it, doesn't it (and why do you suppose that is?). If no one else knows about the offense, the reproof remains private. If others know about it, the reproof is made public.

    It's rules like this that leave little or no room for compassion, empathy, and love, concepts all foreign to the vast majority of WTS disciples.

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